Sunday, July 1, 2012

When A Faerie Explodes

Warning: Vanilla rant ahead, read at your own peril.

The new job is not going as well as I would have liked. I love the work I do, I love the customers I serve. I have a real problem with the lack of professionalism and immaturity displayed not only by my co-workers but more importantly by the boss. The boss is ineffectual and unprofessional. I can tolerate a lot of crap on the job, unprofessional behavior is not one of them. To say it isn't going well would be a huge understatement.

I am an adult, I conduct myself in an adult manner on the job. I take pride in my level of professionalism and the quality of work I produce. I expect others to do the same. Do common courtesy and a good work ethic even exist anymore?  I find myself mired in a department of women who specialize in temper tantrums, lying, backstabbing, deceit and general laziness.  I don't play those kind of games, what you see is what you get with me.

Friday at work was such a nightmare I had a complete and total meltdown when I got home. It took hours of Musicman listening to me vent before I calmed down. He didn't used to be very good at listening to me vent. His first instinct was to fix things for me, not possible when it comes to the job.  Over the years, after me repeatedly saying to him, "I don't need you to fix this, I just need you to listen," he's gotten much better at doing just that.

I do value his opinion on the situation and am grateful for all the support and advice he gives me. He very often sees things differently then I do. He is also quite good at removing the emotion from the situation and presenting me with achievable solutions. Yes, given enough time, I would most likely get to those same solutions, he just cuts to the chase for me. I appreciate that.

Saturday morning dawned overcast and muggy. I dragged my exhausted body out of bed and off to work. I wasn't happy about it, but feeling better about how to handle the situation. I spoke with the boss regarding the previous days events and the fact that certain behaviors and the consequent results of those behaviors where entirely unacceptable to me. She agreed and promised to address the situation.

She did speak with one young woman, the major offender from the day before. Unfortunately, as soon as the boss left to attend a meeting this young woman thought it would be a wise idea to confront me about the situation. It was glaringly obvious that this young woman had no remorse regarding her disgustingly unacceptable and unprofessional behavior. Her issue was that she got called on that behavior, she blamed me for that.

I did my best to keep my cool and deal with her in an adult professional manner, but that only works to a point. Push me hard enough and I will explode, the conversation quickly reached that point. I found myself with a decision to make, attack or walk away.

I wanted to attack, oh how I wanted to attack, I was literally seeing red. For just a moment I gave reign to the thoughts urging me to go over the counter and grab the bitch by the throat. I was gonna hurt her and I was gonna hurt her bad. See, I may look like a mild mannered, middle aged mom, but looks can be deceiving. Deep, deep down inside me resides the street fighter I was growing up. I had to be a fighter to survive. I've worked hard over the years to let her go as I rarely need her now, but she will never be entirely gone.

I'm proud of the fact that I did not unleash my temper on her. If I had I would most likely being doing this post from a jail cell, cause they surely would have had reason to charge me with assault, if not murder. Years spent alone with no one to protect me but myself has made me very good at it. I haven't had to protect myself in a long time, Musicman does that for me now, but I do still have a strong self protection instinct.

No, I didn't attack, I did the mature thing and walked away. The not so mature thing about walking away was I didn't stop walking. I walked right out of the department, cleared out my locker, walked out of the store, got in my car and drove home. In a 30+ year work history, I've never done that before.

Tomorrow I start the search for a new job. I will also have to contact human resources and make arrangements to return my uniforms, that should be an interesting conversation. Sometimes being a mature responsible adult really sucks.

  Musicman has spent his weekend calming one pissed off faerie.

51 comments:

  1. Oh i'm so sorry. take a day or two to breathe before going back on the job hunt. Can't say much by way of advice. so , HUGS!

    XOXO

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    1. Thanks for the hugs, they help :)

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  2. I think that ultimately, we all just do what we have to do. And if that means walking away, then that's the right choice!
    Hope the job search goes well.

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    1. I think this might be a "meant to be" type moment in the making. It might be a good thing :)

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  3. If you are interested in the job without the little bi-zich you might call and see if you still have a job. I know you haven't been there long, but there is a chance that they've had to deal with this little twerp running off good workers before. Assume you'll have to find a new one - but you might want to give them the option of who to keep.

    I love the picture with the gun. Very you!

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. I do intend to talk to them about the situation, I doubt they are gonna like what I have to say :D

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    2. My internet connection is messing with me today, grrr.

      I can't believe I found a pick like that. I mean, really, who gives a faerie a gun? LOL.

      Musicman, that's who! Haahaahaaa!!!!

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  4. Sorry that you all that happened to you. Hope the job hunt goes well and that the next one is filled with better, more mature people.

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    1. I'm staying optimistic about things, thanks for the support :)

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  5. I kind of love the fact that you just kept walking. You deserve to work somewhere you feel comfortable. Best of luck with the search!

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    1. Thanks Tess, once I started walking I knew I wasn't stopping till I got home. I was at my breaking point and if anyone had tried to stop me it would not have gone well for them :)

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  6. I would also write a letter detailing the previous days events and your following the proper procedure in dealing with the twerps unprofessional behavior. Also her confronting you is a type of harassment, document that as well! Then inform them you are leaving!! The environment seems very combative, you do not need that.
    Remember document, document!!
    Good Luck,
    Minelle

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    1. Thanks for the reminder to document :) In healthcare one of the golden rules is, if you didn't document it, you didn't do it.

      Musicman and I have discussed at length since I started this job, the issues with the environment, and what I could or should tolerate. He really does give me the best advice :)

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  7. Girl, my first job in a shop was like that. It was horrible, and a crew of only 8 or so for the whole store. The boss was good but everyone else who wasn't quitting all the time was a total bitch.

    My first day there one of them made me cry.

    A few years later she turned up as a mother at the school where my mom worked. She was a jerk then too.

    Years later yet, like a bad penny, she turned up as a work study at my good job as an educator. I couldn't get away from her. It was awful.

    I only wish I'd had the resources to be able to walk away from her that first night. :) Good on you.

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    1. Thanks, I wish you had had the resources to walk away too :) I am very fortunate that I do have the circumstances to do that now. I warned them several times over the short weeks I was there, that I would only take so much crap. Guess they didn't believe me. Bet they do now, lol.

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  8. Sorry things didn't turn out so well. When you do call HR be up front about the situation and what caused it. It may not help you but it may help the next person. You have to protect yourself and remove yourself from toxic situations. That lovely person was obviously toxic.

    You found that job, you'll find another and probably one that is better suited to you.

    Enjoy being calmed down by MM. So glad he is so good at his job.

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    1. They switched managers between the time I interviewed and the time I started. The woman I ended up working for is not the one I interviewed with or I would not have taken the position. I tried to make the best of a bad situation, but I'm done trying.

      From your mouth(fingertips)to God's ears, on finding a better suited job :) We are both very lucky that Musicman has such a good job.

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  9. Oh dear. Well I for one, would much rather you blogged from the comfort of your own home as opposed to a jail cell :) so if that was how strongly you felt, you were right to keep on walking. Something else will turn up. Glad musicman is able to calm you do well.
    Ps: should I ever need someone in my corner....... I'm calling you right :)

    Dee x

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    1. Guuuurrlll, I got yo back :D Heeheehee.

      The jail outfits here are orange, orange is NOT my color, lol.

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  10. Love the faerie with the AK-47 :D I've been in those situations before - it's not fun.

    So - do you just want to work? Or does it have to be outside the house? If you just want to work I have some really good links for work at home jobs. I work for 2 of the companies. And I know people who work for the other 2. Message me if you want them :)

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    1. I'm so sorry to jump in like this, but I sent you an email and was hoping for the links too. *super grins*

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    2. Thanks for all the info June, I really appreciate it.

      I don't have an AK-47, but I do have access to a double barrel shotgun :D And yes, I do know how to use it.

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    3. Oh sure, Adaline - sorry - I'll run over & check that email now :)

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    4. And you're most welcome, my winged friend :)

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  11. So sorry, Faerie, that totally sucks. Good luck with the job hunt. Manifesting a perfect work environment for you...

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    1. Keep manifesting, I think it's working :D I'll be giving an update soon.

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  12. Hugs to you faerie! I do think you're right...people just want to be free to act unprofessional at work and it's not just in the medical profession. Daddy has problems with his employees, too, and sometimes they have to be let go because they want to act like little divas.

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. I just don't understand people sometimes, where did the sense of entitlement and lack of work ethic come from? Or maybe it's just a lack of knowledge on proper behavior, I don't know, but it makes me crazy.

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  13. Faerie, Wishing you the best in your new job search. Also, that the rest of your evening with Music Man is stress free and you can relax. Take care,

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    1. Thanks SNP, it has been a good weekend and things are promising.

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  14. It's hell having to work with "mean girls" from middle school, isn't it? Good luck, faerie!

    Kiki

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    1. Yeah, and I won't do middle school again!!!!

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  15. Oh, damn... so sorry, Faerie. Is there such a thing as constructive dismissal there? There is in the UK. It basically means that if you are put in a situation at work where there really is no other option but to leave, then they have as good as fired you. Still, either way, hope the search for a new job is successful and more fulfilling than that last one!
    By the way, at the very least, I think I would be inclined to fire off a letter to the MD of the company you were working for, explaining what was going on and say that you felt they would want to know how badly their workforce was behaving as it makes the company look so unprofessional.... xxxxxxxxxx

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    1. No such thing here that I know of. Honestly, I just don't think it was meant to be, it was not a good fit no matter how much I tried to make it fit.

      I am considering a letter to the CEO of the company. This is a large family owned company, of which I was a customer for many years prior to my short stint as an employee. They might find my perspective interesting.

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  16. Oh faerie. I'm so sorry you had to deal with all of that. Yes, professional work environments still exist, and I've counted myself extremely lucky to have found them before. You and I both will find them again and be better for it.

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    1. It was pretty awful, one of the worst places I have worked. Oh well, life moves on and I'm looking for the next open window :)

      Good luck on your search for a good fit yourself.

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  17. I applaud you for walking away instead of letting your anger get to you. Honest, things could have gone down a very bad path. I do wish you the best of luck on your job search. Be sure to google America's Job Bank. It's a site very much overlooked by many. It was given to me when I got laid off a few years ago. Also so very awful when you have to deal with that kind of situation at work. I experience bullying at my job by a co-worker and it can be very unpleasant! Hang in there, faerie! :)

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    1. This was really just the culmination of many things in a bad experience. I'm being optimistic that things will work out. Thanks for the advice on the web site, I'll check it out :)

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  18. Sometimes you simply need to do what you need to do, faerie. Best of luck in your search for a new and more rewarding (or at least tolerable)job!

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    1. Thanks Jake, now you sound like Musicman, lol. Did I mention how he cuts to the chase for me? It's not what I wanted to have happen, but things will be okay.

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  19. I've only walked off of a couple of jobs but each time it was the right thing to do and I got something better.

    You will too :)

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    1. I'm staying open about finding something better. I must say, having never done that before, it felt pretty good. There had been ongoing issues with bad behavior, and I warned them I wouldn't tolerate it. Being the one to say, enough is enough, and just leave is sorta satisfying.

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  20. Faerie,
    I'm so sorry it went down this way but as others have said, you have to stay true to yourself.

    One of the hardest things to do when interviewing for a job is to carefully interview the person who you will be working for. Good leadership is hard to find but hope that you will find it in your next position.

    Hope musicman got you through the weekend nicely...

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    1. That is one of the problems Susie, they kinda pulled a bait and switch on me. I interviewed and negotiated the position with Ms. A, the management then transferred Ms. A to another location and brought in Ms. B.

      The change occurred in a matter of hours and no one was informed about it until it happened. My start date was actually delayed because of the change. I did not meet Ms. B until my first shift started.

      Had I interviewed with Ms. B to begin with, I would not have accepted a position in that department.

      Musicman has been a huge source of support through all this :)

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  21. You took care of yourself. Good job. No one needs that kind of drama in their lives. I hope you find a new job soon. I know people are having a hard time finding work still. The job market has been flooded with ex military members. Obama made huge cuts in the military and at the same time called for more public sector jobs. I am puzzled.

    Out of over 150 job applications, Dragon only got two job offers. And both of them are part time and temporary. Hopefully the job he took will lead to a full time, permanent job soon.

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    1. The job market here definitely sucks, but I am trying to stay positive. It can be very depressing these days to try and find the right situation.

      I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that things workout well for Dragon and your family :)

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  22. I hate to hear that the women were so cruel and conniving at work, especially toward someone so sweet. I hope karma gets around to them, they should not be able to get away with that sort of thing. It sounds like you did the right thing by quitting, how long can you go on in such a hostile environment.

    Best of luck to you in your new job hunt. *hugs*

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    1. I've encountered this behavior before, but not to this degree. It just wasn't worht the amount of stress it was causing me to continue working there.

      I'm a big believer in Karma, it will get them eventually :)

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  23. I'm just catching up. So sorry for having to deal with this, but sometimes, walking away may ge the best option. The job had the obligation to make a healthy and supportive work environment, and they (the boss) allowed you to be harrassed! That's on them ! Good luck with the job hunt!

    Sara

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    1. Thanks Sara, in almost 35 years of working I have not encountered such a horrible workplace. Walking out was not how I would have liked to have handled the situation, but in the long run it was the best choice.

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