Thursday, November 13, 2014

Comfortablly Numb

I know I've been a bit MIA lately, life has just been so hectic. And, to be honest, just a bit easier if I don't take the time to examine it. That's why I haven't written in so long, even though I know writing is a good thing for me. The crux of the issue is that I am really just so much better at taking care of everyone else than I am myself.

The grandbaby is 14 months old now. She is absolutely freakin adorable, yet totally exhausting. Things have changed recently that have necessitated me taking on a more active role in her care. Couple that with the fact that, instead of work lightening up as it usually does this time of year, it is ramping up and life becomes one big ground hog's day.

Musicman is also working more hours at work and side jobs every weekend. He just can't ever say no when people call and ask for help. My phone has been ringing constantly lately. I love that about him, until it becomes so overwhelming that he no longer has time for me. He hasn't had time for me in a couple months now and I haven't had the time, energy or interest in fighting for more.

Sad but true, kink has been all but forgotten and sex, even in the vanilla form, has gone from about every other day to once every 2 weeks. Most days it's all we can do to fall into bed together and hold hands while we drift off to sleep.

It's just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. We've been together 29 years and I've seen and experienced this pattern before. I know it will pass with time. We won't wait too much longer, hopefully, to reclaim each other. We never do.

In the mean time, Mother Nature has dumped a foot of snow on us in a twelve hour period, with more to come. Ugh, other than Christmas Eve, I hate snow. I'm a hothouse flower, caught in the middle of a white out that will last for the next several months. I find the absence of color in my life somewhat depressing.

We are ramping up for the holidays and I'm not sure when I will be able to come up for a breath. I've not given a thought as to when kink may come back into my life. I miss it, but, it's not a huge problem either. I'm really just comfortably numb right now and that's okay, for the moment.



Firefly in Her Element ~ by Martina Avery-Perry


25 comments:

  1. Thanks for stopping by with an update on how hectic your life is these days. Just want to wish you the best and let you know your blogging friends are thinking about you and hoping that someday kink and more frequent sex will come back in your life. Good luck.

    FD

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    1. Hi FD, I know I really should write more often. It's good for me and the support of this wonderful community is always appreciated. I can't even begin to predict when things will pick up again for us, but hopefully it won't be too much longer.

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  2. Life may not be exciting and where it should be, but it doesn't sound like anything is 'wrong' like you said it comes and goes. And I like one little thing I read, that you fall asleep holding hands. You're still there for each other, just tired. You're welcomed to come here, we have a high of 43 and sunny tomorrow - sounds like the tropics doesn't it.

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    1. No nothing is "wrong", just too much vanilla life going on right now. I don't remember when we started holding hands as we fell asleep, it is just something we always seem to do and I would miss it if we didn't do it. I'm packing as we speak cause 43 and sunny sounds delightful. We are 3 days into this storm and the snow is still falling. We have about 2 feet already and even more coming, ugh.

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  3. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that...things calm down for you Faerie.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thanks Cat, I will take all the help I can get.

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  4. Hi Fearie, glad to see you post :) There is an ebb and flow. Hope things become less hectic for you soon. Sorry about the snow. It's spring here but mother nature is being rather fickle.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, I'm so jealous that it is spring where you are. I don't know what your winters are like, but it hasn't stopped snowing for 3 days and isn't predicted to stop for the foreseeable future either. Maybe all this snow will encourage us to cuddle some more and maybe even lead to other things. A girl can hope anyway.

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  5. Glad you took the time to let us know how you are doing....I have thought and wondered about you. Life does just take over at times, and the best we can do is go with the flow. Falling asleep holding hands is a great way to end the day. We had a little snow here last night, that was too much for me.....Know we are here...
    hugs abby

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    1. Thanks abby, I had started to write several times before, but just couldn't quite seem to get it together enough to make anything sound coherent and certainly I haven't had anything remotely interesting or on topic to write about either. I hope wherever you are you don't get hit with the weather we are getting, we are already at 2 feet and it's still coming down.

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  6. Hey girl. I am so glad you posted. I can oh so completely understand your situation. We're very similar. Kinda sucks, but it's life. I hope your reclaiming will come soon, and that you survive the holidays.

    Hugs,
    Fiona

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    1. Thanks Fiona, it does kinda suck doesn't it? When everything vanilla overwhelms and erases the joys of kink? But, your right, that's life and we gotta live it. Hopefully things will turn around for both of us soon.

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  7. Good to hear fromyou and I'm happy things seem to be doing well. If MM is putting in so manyhours it means he is feeling good. Make sure he keeps it that way and you pace yourself- contrary to what your family believes, you need rest too.

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    1. Musicman is doing very well, though usually way too tired for anything remotely related to playtime. As for me, yeah, I definitely need to woprk an taking better care of myself instead of always doing for others.

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  8. Hi Faerie, I am sorry that life is so hectic for you and I hope that you will get some more relaxing time soon, with or without kink. It does sound as if you can cope with all this at the moment, but if possible, just have a nice treat for yourself in time! I second what Leigh said, you need rest too.
    I am so sure your granddaughter is super cute and it is lovely that you have her. Sleeping hand in hand is romantic, and hopefully you do find this moment to come up for a breath … and more!

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Hi Nina, as you will no doubt find out with your new little one, they are a joy like no other in the world, but also exhausting. As a Mom it seems natural to take care of everyone else and always put yourself last. That's a mistake, don't do it cause once you start it is extremely hard to stop the cycle. I don't remember when or why we started holding hands as we fell asleep, it seems like something we have always done and I would surely miss it if we didn't.

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  9. Hi Faerie!:) Thank you for updating us all. I have been wondering about how things were going for you both as well.

    I also understand the drive to take care of others. I think that some of us are kind of wired that way. It really is important to try to take time for you, which is not always easy. I can attest to that... Especially when you have a house full of kids that are much older, and perhaps don't always do things the way that you would like them to be done in your home. That is a whole other ballgame, that's for sure... I get that one too! And energy level, I sure do notice that it is not what it used to be for me. I can only imagine that daily caring for your grand takes up a whole lot. She sounds adorable though!

    Sounds like things are going along pretty well in spite of it all. I think that you are exactly right, things do tend to ebb and flow over the lifetime of a long marriage. I think that that is as it should be. Perhaps it makes us appreciate the closeness that we are so lucky to have found with each other, more than we already do. Renews us for the next strong bout of ttwd. I am happy for you. As I was reading, when I saw the part about you two going to sleep holding hands, it made me smile and I said to myself, "That is so loving! They are good!" When you don't have the energy for all that you wish, at the end of the day, you connect up with touch, and closeness the best way that you can. You are there for each other! Pretty great stuff!

    Take care Faerie! Enjoy your grand, and do a little something to make yourself smile each day. Keep on holding onto your Musicman! We will look forward to hearing from you when you can. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    That's all from me,

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    1. LOL! That last bit was supposed to come at the start of the last paragraph! sorry about that! :)

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    2. Hi Katie, I have to say I agree that some of us are just wired to take care of others. I certainly am and while I find that a plus most of the time it is also exhausting. I've been trying for years to learn to take better care of myself, but I continue to fail miserably at it.

      You said a mouthful about adult kids not doing things the way we would like in our homes. That is where a good amount of my stress comes from. I work hard to not regret being unable to have the life I want because of the things going on with my kids. Most days I can manage it, but inevitably the day comes when I can no longer handle the stress and I explode. It's not pretty when it happens and if we had even a modicum of privacy for some stress relief it wouldn't happen at all. That's just not meant to be right now though. Oh well, maybe that day will come sooner than I think, in the mean time I will enjoy my grandbaby as much as possible and fall into exhausted sleep holding on to my Musicman.

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  10. (((hugs))) lovely to see a post from you, have missed you. Hope things calm down for you soon xx

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    1. Thanks mc kitten, I miss being able to be here as much as I would like too. It just frustrates me to come here and absolutely nothing to really say, so I usually only come around about 2 times a week to lurk and catch up on how everyone is doing.

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  11. Glad to see you come out to say hello. :-) Hugs!!!

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    1. Thanks Terps, I miss everyone when I am away.

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    1. (squeal) Fondles, so nice to hear from you!!!

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