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So, I ended my last post by saying I give up. Let's get real here people. I'm not giving up, I never give up when I want something. Worse than a dog with a bone I am.
I also know that ignoring it will not make what I'm feeling go away, if it did, I would have ignored it a long time ago and never said a word about it to my husband.
So where does that leave me now? I'm not really sure, taking a break at the very least.
Several people left comments asking if my husband reads here. He does not, in fact, he knows I read blogs, he's seen me leaving comments and he knows I write. He encourages the writing. He has never once asked if I write a blog nor has he asked me to share any of my writing. He is totally uninterested in any information other than what I tell him. That is one of the reasons I have decided to take a step back.
We have the next set of medical tests coming up this week for him. We are dealing with a potentially life threatening condition that is going to involve surgical intervention to fix. We just don't know how invasive the procedure is going to be yet. That is another reason to take a step back.
I have started a 2 phase test for a potential job, one I really want. I need to focus my attention on the testing or I will have no one to blame but myself for blowing a chance at my dream job. This process will take a month or more. Another reason to take a step back.
Probably the most important reason to take a step back right now would be my husband. We do not in anyway think alike. We don't approach problems and issues the same way. We learn differently. I tend to rush in where angels fear to tred. He always looks at all the angles, makes all the comparisons, considers all the repercussions. He is also capable of surprising me at any minute with something said or something done. Sometimes I just need to take a step back and give him the chance to surprise me.
I've decided to step back many times only to step right back up. Either way is fine. I think you should invite you husband to read here. Maybe he doesn't want to but he may also think its a 'girl thing'. They don't mean to be dense but, you know. This may not be the right moment but when you think it's time - give him an invitation. He may surprise you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
PK
When we try to control everything - nothing seems to work. When we step back and Let Go and Let God - life becomes easier. Carpe Diem.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll step back up when you're ready faerie. I agree with PK, I think you should encourage him to 'read' more. Best of luck with this job, and the health issues. I have everything crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteDee x
That makes good sense Faerie. You will come back to this when the timing is right and right now you need to be there for each other in different ways. I'll be thinking about you and hoping to hear good news about your husband's health.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susie, things will be better when we get this health issue fixed.
ReplyDeleteDee, I would love it if he would read some, but that is not his style. We will work it out, we always do, I just need some patience.
Sunnygirl, very wise words. Thank you for saying what I needed to hear.
PK, Such a strange dance this is. I hope someday he will read here, of course he would have to know about it first. I haven't purposely kept it from him, he just isn't interested right now, but that can change and I do know that eventually he will find out.
(((hugs))) I hope and pray that all goes well with your husband and that he's in good health soon. That, in and of itself, is stressful. It seems quite reasonable that you feel the need to step back, with all that's going on in your life right now. And who knows, maybe he'll surprise you sooner than you think. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I deal with things in much the same way it seems.
ReplyDeleteI hope that everything goes okay with his health. For me, that is the most difficult kind of thing to deal with.
If you ever need anyone to talk to (dishes, the sky is purple, life's a bitch, whatever), feel free to send me an email.
lil, thanks for the offer, i may take you up on it sometime, health is definitely the most difficult thing we deal with.
ReplyDeleteGrace, thanks for the kind wishes, we are finding it very stressful right now. He may surprise me yet, I have learned to expect the unexpected with him.