Warning the following post is going to be a rant.
You now it's not going to be the best of days when you get out of bed pissed off at the world. I can't even blame it on lack of sleep because I have been sleeping pretty well. No, I am just super frustrated right now, but I don't like to deal with frustration when there is nothing that can be done to change the situation, so I get mad.
If I was the type to throw things and break things I wouldn't have a dish left. Good thing I'm not like that, I guess. But it would feel so good right now.
Often when I get this mad I contemplate running away, just packing a few things and leaving. If I had somewhere to run to I'd be gone.
Then of course there is the guilt of feeling this way. I mean really, who gets mad at someone for being sick? He isn't exactly having the time of his life either. Unfortunately for all the years we have been together I have always deferred to him. If he made a bad choice, he had to deal with it. But this is different, whether he likes it or not(he doesn't) I know better this time. I'll be honest, I don't particularly like being the one who knows better, because he still doesn't listen to me. Well, that's not exactly right, he listens, then he does whatever he wants anyway.
IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO WHAT I SAY, STOP COMPLAINING.
Rationally I know what he is going through is not easy, but if he would just do what I say he would feel better. This is the perfect example of being a submissive wife coming back to bite me in the ass. He isn't used to having someone else, even me, make decisions for him. I don't want to make the decisions, I've had decades of him making the decisions, and he usually makes very good ones. I have never regretted that I chose to let him be the leader in this relationship, until now. Sure I can blame it on the fact that he is in pain, and taking pain pills does not make for a clear head, but if I hear one more whine or one more complaint I may just scream at the man. Not recommended in bedside 101 by the way. And all that will accomplish is to make him as mad as I am, good way to cultivate marital harmony.
Maybe I should consider becoming a switch, maybe a good spanking will get him with the program. Okay, this is where I go, ewww, not in this lifetime.
All right, I don't feel like I want to kill someone right now, so I'm going to go get in the shower and get my day started and hope I can keep things under control. If you should happen to run across an angry woman driving around aimlessly, give me a wave, I've run away from home and am probably lost.