Monday, December 19, 2011

Do I Really Need A Title?

Where to begin?

Musicman is doing better today.

All the tubes are gone. . .  Score.
The pain is getting better. . .Score.
He is moving idependently, mostly...Score.
I slept last night. . .Huge Score.

He isn't eating. . .No score.
Blood sugars are still high. . .I might have to give him shots and I'm can't look at score.

Issues with his transplant doctor who was called in due to minor complications.  I AM GOING TO SERIOUSLY HURT THE MAN.  If the complications become more then minor my next need is going to be bail money.

I can be a real serious Bitch when I need to and nobody fucks with my family. Right now I am in full on Bitch mode. The armor is fitting very well, and it's inpenetrable.

I stocked up on groceries today, I cleaned my home, every dish in the cabinet where they belong. My last load of laundry is in the dryer and will be folded and put away soon. I have chicken soup cooking in the crock pot.

Tomorrow when I get up I will go to the hospital, at this point my car can drive itself there. Unless something drastic happens I'm not leaving alone. I'm bringing my Musicman home. The healing has begun.

I'm so lonely, I miss him so much. He is starting to come back to me. We have been here before. I know what to do for him, I know what he needs, and I will very happily give it to him. I just need him to come home. I can face the world when he stands next to me, and I can win. I can feel euphoria in his arms.


  1. So glad you got a good night's sleep, etc. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I've had parents be really sick, but never Daddy! Hope Musicman can come home soon:)!


  2. Glad you finally got some sleep. Looking forward to reading your next post when you tell us that Musicman is home and in your loving care. Stay strong and keep polishing that armor.

  3. Faerie, I'm so glad that your hubby is improving and will be able to come home soon! (((hugs)))

  4. Grace, I'm so ready for him to come home, I'm not used to him not being with me. Thank you for your prayers and support.

    Sunnygirl, Aah the ever elusive sleep, I don't understand why I fail at it, but it is my reality, so I deal as best I can. Your words of experience and encouragement have been a huge help in getting me through. Thank you.

    Kitty, I'm so glad you have not had to deal with this kind of pain, it is redefining my reality. I am an optimist at heart and choose to think that no matter how hard it is, it is a good thing.

  5. Faerie,
    Bitch mode is the exact right one when people are messing with your family! Glad you can do it when the need is called for. It's going to be great when you two are back together. You will be able to take care of each other - different ways but both important.

    But should you need another job, I sure could use you here at my house. I mean geeze, everything clean, laundry done, FOOD cooking?? Sounds like heaven!

    Keep us informed.


  6. I hope he can come home with you today. Talk about the best Christmas present ever! It is good to see you feisty and fuming...and cleaning, cooking and sleeping. Will be praying for you two today.

  7. Hang in there baby.... I use cleaning as other people use going to the gym. For me it's the perfect aggression outlet.

  8. Vixen, cleaning is an aggression outlet for me too.

    Susie, thanks for the prayers, Musicman coming home is the only thing I want for christmas. I know a lot of women have to deal with their guys being gone for work, But the only time Musicman and I are apart is situations like this.

    PK, it really will be heaven once Musicman is home. Then he can start driving me crazy, lol.

  9. Sounds like you have everything under control!! Hope Musicman comes home... I understand what you are saying that you can conquer the world with him next to you!!! Take care!! ((hugs))

  10. Mikki, I'm all set, unfortunately the doctors have decided he has to stay one more day. Boo.
    I have a fealing that by tomorrow they are going to want him to go home as much as we both want him to come home. He is getting cranky, a sure sign he is feeling better, lol.