Where the winds blew me

So, I  said  I  never meant  to  be  gone 3 years. Many things have occurred in those  years. It's hard to even know where to begin.

Life just seemed to blow me away. And I let it. It was just easier that way. My life  was in turmoil.

I  had a household full of adult children and grandchildren and animals that weren't mine.

I  wasn't  at all happy.  Musicman  and I  were at constant odds. I  felt like a prisoner in my own home. I  so wish I  could say he supported me, but truth is, he didn't.

While I understood why  he made the decisions he made, I  didn't necessarily agree with him. In all honesty, I  felt betrayed.

Despite everything I had overcome and survived, and  as much as I thought I was thriving, I  wasn't.

I  was so busy taking care of everyone else, I forgot to take care of myself.  I let people walk all over me, use me and abuse me. Something I said I would never allow again. And yet I did.

Against my better instincts and gut feelings, when a full time position became available in a different program with my employer, I  took  it.

Not because it was best  for  me, but because it was best for my family. That's  what mom's do right?

I  was more than qualified, even  did very well at the  job. But the atmosphere started  to  make me quite ill, quite often.

That was difficult in itself.  But I also had to deal with sexual  harassment from  my boss. Reporting him got me no where. Old boys clubs still exist.

Wish I could say Musicman supported me, but not really. He was just  happy I was making money and helping support  our adult  children. I  call it enabling, but  whatever, I  knew I  was  never gonna win that one.

I  took  a  proactive  approach with my health.  I  was seeing my doctor, making  lifestyle changes that would  make  things better.

Yeah, that totally backfired on me.  A med I  was prescribed caused me to black out and have  a  seizure. I  ended up being diagnosed with a  separated  shoulder that 8 months later still isn't healed, and may never fully heal. I  also have been  diagnosed with severe arthritis and  stenosis  in my  spine  and  throughout  my  body .

I'm  no longer  able  to  work.  It sucks. For so many  reasons .

That's  enough  for  now .  Probably  wasn't  what  you  were  expecting ,  neither  was I .