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There was a time when being submissive to Musicman was good for me. He took care of me. Looked out for me. Helped me heal.
I know that's why I'm struggling so much now.
I no longer feel that way.
How , despite the major difference in how we each see our future, do we make it work?
I still love him. I don't want to hurt him. I took my vows very seriously, but..
But I'm not happy. And he isn't inclined to make the changes that will make me happy.
Where do I go from here?
Of course I don't know the full story or what will really be best for both of you, but for now I'd suggest being pleasant to Musicman, but at the same time live for yourself. Do want you can to make yourself happy and maybe in a few weeks try asking him if wants to talk and try to get to a better place.
ReplyDeleteBreathe, and take whatever time you need to decide....stay or not...do you have someone you can talk to..discuss the pros and cons...plus and minuses...HUGS...abby
ReplyDeleteI am very fortunate to have someone to talk to and help me work all this through. Due to my current health situation I also have plenty of time to figure things out.
DeleteI'm with Abby, breathe and take your time. Then talk to Musicman with a view to compromise.
ReplyDeleteSending huge (((hugs)))
Roz
I would be quite willing to talk to Musicman about how we can move forward to a better place. Once I figure it out of course. Unfortunately, he is not a great communicator which just adds to the problem.
DeleteYou are the only one who can make that decision.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right, here's hoping I make the right one.
DeleteYou have very good ideas above, Faerie. I too hope that you have someone that you trust, to share with. Perhaps Musicman has done some thinking since you left. With further communication, that may help you make up your mind moving forward. Many hugs,
ReplyDelete<3 Katie
I am lucky enough to have someone to listen and help me work through everything. Communication with Musicman is difficult at the best of times and this isn't the best of times. Despite tha, I still try.
DeleteThis was me last year and it is an incredibly hard place to be. I hear you, Faerie.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that Bleue. Realistically, I know I'm not the only one going through difficult and challenging times, but still sad to hear. I sincerely hope things are better for you. Lately, for me, it seems like one step forward and two steps backward. The good thing is at least I'm moving.
DeleteYes, things are much better. It looks different than it used to and I don't know if it will be what it was, but its ours and its healthy now and thriving. I think a huge part of the proccess is those steps...backwards, forwards, whatever the moving is essential.
DeleteI would wonder what he thinks? Obviously you've talked about it some to know that you both have different ideas for the future... what does he think about those different ideas? Does it not bother him that you may not *have* a future together? Things to ponder. Good vibes your way in this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to want me to just accept and move forward. I really believe he doesn't think I would ever end our marriage.
DeletePK, I know you left a comment, I saw it in my email. Not sure where it went as I didn't delete it. I appreciate your support and wise words.
ReplyDelete