Friday, November 23, 2012

The wi-fi's back and so am I...so pull up a chair I've lots of Lemonade to share

So many things have happened, and I haven't even had the luxury of escaping to blogland. But, the Wi-fi's back up, so here I am with lemonade in tow.

Why lemonade, you might ask? Well, that's what I do when life hands me lemons, I make lemonade. I've had a lot of lemons roll into my life over the last few days, some of them pretty big. On the upside, I can at least say the nightmares that started last week have finally stopped.

Saturday afternoon I answered the phone to find a hysterical child on the other end, our daughter. She's been struggling for a bit, but has been resistant about accepting our help. I can respect that, she's an adult and can make her own decisions and live her own life. The problem is she has made some really bad decisions and even worse choices. It all came crashing in on her and she had no where else to turn. I wish she'd have come to us sooner, but, that's water under the bridge at this point.

We addressed the most immediate problems that day. She is facing some health issues, and even though she works full time, her employer does not offer health insurance. Several hundred dollars later we obtained the meds she needs. Not what we wanted to do, but you can't put a price on your child's health.

Our attempts to get the weekend plans back on track went awry when we discovered a total lack of hot water. A closer look revealed a flooded basement and blown hot water tank. Oh the joys of being a homeowner. Silly me decided that it would be much easier and way more efficient to just bite the bullet and help Musicman get the new tank into the house and down to the basement. We managed it, but my body protested most vociferously for the next few days. Every single inch of my body screamed with pain, and not the good kind.

A weekend like that almost made me happy to see Monday come. Almost, but Monday brought it's own brand of hell, in the form of a text message from our daughter. Things with her roommates had become unbearable, she felt she couldn't go back there with out major problems occurring. Yep, we moved her back in with us that night. I'm thrilled we are able to help her, but I'm not so happy she's back living with us.

I feel like I'm walking a tightrope. On one hand, I understand completely that she's young and she will make mistakes. I even believe she understands that she will have to deal with the consequences of her decisions. But, I want to kill the people that have caused her pain. I don't care how old she is, she's my baby girl, don't mess with her or you'll have to face me. She won't let me do that though, I'm struggling to respect her wishes.

On the other hand, I want to shake her till her teeth rattle. There is absolutely no reason why she is dealing with some of the things she is now dealing with. We taught her better than that. I always believed the best way to empower my kids was to arm them with knowledge, so I did that. Apparently, given the situation she now finds herself in, she didn't pay as much attention to the things we tried to teach her as I thought she had.

These kinds of incidents don't leave much time for D/s or playtime. But, our relationship, including the D/s aspect of it actually runs pretty well on autopilot when needed. Musicman has been very tuned in to the storm of emotions that have come with this situation. He has stayed close, often pulling me into his arms or onto his lap for a moment of rest. He assures me every time, "everything is going to be okay...I promise." It reminds me that when I think I have no where to turn, I have him to turn to and I always will.

I know he doesn't know how this is all going to work out, but every time he says that to me, I believe him. Having her here in the house means curtailing some activities, but they haven't gone away. He understands I need the release that pain brings. I need the escape into subspace that only he can give me. We are both adjusting to once again playing quietly or playing on a time schedule. We don't like it much, but we are adjusting.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Ours was quiet, and despite the fact that we have a long way to go in getting our daughter back on her feet, despite the fact that the wi-fi connection is still spotty,despite everything, we have much to be thankful for and lots of lemonade too. I made plenty of pies, but the dog got the apple pie, so you'll have to settle for something else.



38 comments:

  1. I am so sorry that you are full-up of lemons. Might I make a suggestion that you start making lemon drop martinis or Lynchburg lemonades.

    Good luck

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    1. Great suggestion, I'll give it some thought, lol :D

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  2. I like the idea of Lynchburg Lemonades and Lemon Drop Martinis. They really dull the pain until the next day that is.

    Sorry this have gone so far south lately. But you know, it's warmer there and they probably wanted a vacation from the cold. Glad to hear things are somewhat better.

    It hurts when kids are hurting and all you can do is stand by and watch. Hopefully, the lessons you taught her will stick now that she has experienced first hand the pitfalls of life.

    Glad you made the most of it, that's all you can do. Grin and bear it as the saying goes.

    Happy weekend to you and MM.

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    1. Happy weekend to you too Sunnygirl :D I'm working on the whole grin and bear it thing, all while keeping my fingers crossed that she gets her situation straightened out soon. I wish I could say I believe she will, but my gut is telling me different.

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  4. My mom told me that it's hard to be happier than your least happy child. But while I know you are there for her, try your best not to be pulled down by her mistakes and sadness (easier said than done, but you two seem to be doing better than most). Please escape here any time you can. We're happy to listen to a rant or give you an extra shoulder to cry on, OR listen to a great spanking date.

    We're here and we love and support you!

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. Your Mom was a very wise lady! Whish I had some of that wisdom right now. I'm trying to be as supportive and nonjudgemental or overly intrusive as possible, but it's hard. Thanks for all the love and support, as soon as I have a great spanking date, I'll let you know.

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  5. Oh gosh, faerie i hope things look up soon, being a parent im finding is one of the most difficult things i will ever do, we want the best for them but well im realising you cant put an old head on young shoulders.

    Mine are only 10 and 15 and yeah its difficult especially with the teen, but you can only help so much, they have to make these mistakes to learn from them as hard as it is for us to watch.

    x

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    1. Musicman has always said, "little kids little problems, big kids big problems." Darn man, does he always have to be right? LOL

      I really thought once we survived the teen years things would get easier, that's proving to be a total falacy.

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  6. Big Hugs to you. Though it is not my child, we just got my sister out into her own place after something very similar. She is a healthy kid, but she, like your daughter it sounds like, needs to learn things the hard way. Some people just need to be knocked down, and then decide to finally get up and smarten up before it clicks into place. It's certainly straining and stressful, but I hope she is on her way to health and a better ability to make the right decisions. On one side it makes the stronger in some way but on the other, it sure makes this unnecessarily difficult. Not to mention is stresses out those around her! Everything will work out just as it should, I promise that, though I know you believe MM when He tells you. Enjoy that lemonade and yeah, a splash of whatever your favourite alcohol is is well deserved. I hope your body have forgiven you for the whole water heater incident also :) Thanks for the update and Im sending soothing, peaceful thoughts your way!

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    1. Thanks HisLilAngel, hugs are always appreciated :) Family, no matter what the relationship is, is usually a challenge. At least that has been my experience. Your sister is lucky to have you to help her. I'm really hoping my daughter learns something from this, but I'm not holding my breath while I wait. I do believe things will work out, I just need reminded A LOT.

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  7. faerie: I hope you can keep making lemonade out of all the lemons you have been dealing with. And your daughter is so fortunate she has you to count on as she handles the issues in her life.

    FD

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    1. I'm usually a very optimistic person, so I'll keep making lemonade. But, there is a part of me that thinks she wouldn;t be in this mess if I had been a better Mom. Gotta love Mother's guilt.

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  8. I feel your pain... our oldest child always seems to have to learn things the hard way also. I to wanted to rip into someone who is hurting her, but I will refrain and thank God she seems to be coming to her senses.We just have to remember that we've given them a good foundation and hopefull they will learn from their mistakes. In the meantime don't forget to take care of yourself. Love Shelly

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    1. Maybe it's an oldest child thing? This is my oldest child too. I vaccilate between wanting to slap the crap out of her and ask her why she didn't listen to me. And, just holding her close and not letting the world hurt her anymore. I guess I can't realistically do either though. Now I just pray she learns from this and moves forward without too many scars.

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  9. I hear you! It is so very hard to watch our kids make mistakes, or suffer pain from others. We will always come to their aid. Age has no bearing. My parents still will offer help and assistance to us if they think we need it, and they are in their 80s. I hope that things work out for the best and soon.
    Oh, and I am totally on board with ANY Martini!

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    1. I will always come to her aid, that's what families do. I didn't know that until I met Musicman, cause I have a crummy family. His family was a priceless gift that he generously shared with me. I'm just so frustrated, on so many levels with the whole situation. And, having her in the house makes the most effective form of stress relief difficult to say the least.

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  10. Faerie it's hard you watch your Daughter make mistakes, I'm watching mine make a big one right now and am powerless to do anything :(

    She will come through it and so will you (((hugs)))

    Xxxxx

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    1. Oh Autumn, I'm so sorry to hear your daughter is struggling too. As joyful as being a Mother can be, it really sucks some times to0. Big{{{Hugs}}} to you and here's hoping both our girls' get things together soon.

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  11. (((hugs))) faerie, I'm sorry you're inundated in lemons, and very glad that you're making lemonade & not drowning in it. You sound bright and on top of it. And I hope it stays that way.

    I love that saying, PK. It's very true!

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    1. Thanks June, these last few days have been quite the rollercoaster ride. Musicman is keeping a close eye on me and taking very good care of me.

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  12. Hugs- sounds like you are making the best of the situation you have. I've been "that daughter" --- we tend to come around eventually. Hang tight, stand firm and just keep loving. I know int he end it will all work out and she will be stronger for it.

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    1. Ah yes, "that daughter", I was her once too, worse probably. The difference being I knew that if I got myself in a jam I was on my own. I don't know if that knowledge helped me make better choices, or, I just got lucky. Probably got lucky. I just hope she learns from this and starts making better choices soon.

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  13. You're a wonderful mama, Faerie. I'm sorry your daughter's going through her crap right now, but I know you're being there for her will help.

    And the hot water heater thing SUCKS. I hate that kind of stuff!!!!

    Love to you!

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    1. Thanks Renee Rose, would you care to tell my daughter that? Cause I think she sees it differently. As for the hot water heater, I hate that kind of stuff too, I'm just exceedingly grateful that Musicman can fix just about anything.

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  14. oh so sorry to hear... dealing with family can be draining... and we wish we had all the answers but sometimes respecting their wishes IS all we can do.

    i'm dealing with family craziness too at the moment so i feel you (even tho it's not a child but my parents!)

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    1. Family craziness is just that, craziness. Doesn't matter if it's a parent or a child. I hope we both get through the craziness soon.

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  15. Nothing like a nice batch of freshly squeezed lemonade, is there, faerie? Hope life gets better quickly!

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    1. Actually, I'm more of an ice tea kinda girl, but I appreciate the well wishes :)

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  16. i missed you! i'm so glad you're back! And glad you have Musicman for support, now and always.

    i'm sorry your daughter's having a hard time too ~ i can relate to that ~ and it seems like everyone has already given you all the wise words there are to share. i'll be thinking of you all, holding you in my thoughts

    hugs,

    aisha

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    1. Oa aisha, I'm about to start baning my head into the nearest wall. With the way things are going it would be more productive.

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  17. ((faerie))) sounds like you have quite a bit going on right now. I hope things start to look up for your daughter. I once had a horrid roommate situation and I know it's hard for you to have her back home but it's also hard to live in a place where people are unstable or mean or putting you in a bad spot. I am sure she really appreciates having an nice place to stay, so that's a plus :) Good for you for making lemonade. Maybe some cookies will come soon, too...

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    1. I've been trying to get her to move back home for awhile now. I really want to help her be happy and more stable. It just isn't working out that way.She's sooooo stubborn, can't imagine where she gets that from, lol ;D

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  18. faerie, I've gone through "this" with three so far, since the middle one of the three was 15, so almost 15 years. I don't know the details of your "this," but I don't need to - I have lots of "this-es" to draw from. And, yes, they all are still my babies, my beautiful little girls, and I've wanted to go into battle for them. I don't think that ever will go away.

    I didn't have a Musicman keeping me anchored in the ways I needed to be anchored. I was the glue that held us all together, but I sure wish we could have done it all differently. Not that I'd been less strong, though. I could've been better, and my ex could've been much better.

    I know you thank your lucky stars for Musicman. Hold tight to that. Try to remember to smile and take deep, cleansin breaths whenever you can, even when you don't feel like it - especially then - and send up thanks for the blessings you have.

    Irishey

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    1. Irishey, I applaud you. You must be a stronger woman than I. If I had to do this by myself, or multiple times I doubt I would survive.

      I am thanking my lucky stars that I have Musicman and trying desperately to remember all the things I have been blessed with. TBH, The serenity prayer has become my new mantra. I'm thinking of getting it tattoeed somewhere I can easily see it.

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  19. Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way I know our oldest son is now doing the same thing. Hugs

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    1. I guess it's nice to know I'm not the only Mom that's going through this. But, it makes me sad too. I just wish our kids would learn to listen and realize that we are only trying to save them some pain. Good luck with your son, I hope all of us struggling Moms get through whatever we are going through quickly and with as few scars as possible for all involved.

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  20. I understand the wanting to hug and protect your child and wanting to throttle them at the same time. It is hard to watch your baby struggle, whatever the struggle is. Your baby will always be your baby no matter how old and from what my intuition tells me about you I am certain that you are a wonderful mother. When the mother guilt thoughts try to poison your brain just remember that you are not alone and you are doing the best you can and that has to be enough. You are giving your daughter love and hopefully in time she will hear you and make the right choices she needs to make on her own. My advice may mean little as my babies are still in elementary school and their problems are as little as they are but no matter what trouble or sadness they feel I feel it too and as a mom my heart hears you and I am sending lots of hugs your way as you deal with everything. Sometimes as hard as it is, making lemonade is all you can do. Take care, Terpsichore

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