Sunday, January 8, 2012

Walking a Tightrope

Well it's been almost a week since my last post. I haven't had anything to say, and I still don't.

Musicman is doing okay, he is making progress slowly. At his best he is a pessimist, he is not at his best right now.

While I have no problem writing about or sharing my frustration, his is another thing. I love my husband dearly and while he is not a perfect man, he is the perfect man for me.

I know we will get through this and we will do it together, but I am feeling very protectvie of him right now. I do think of him as my hero, but I also know he has feet of clay. I do not feel at all comfortable exposing his foibles to everyone. Just as I share a side of myself with him that I let no one else see so does he. It seems disrespectful of me to turn around and share that with anyone, and I would never hurt him that way.

I am walking a tight rope right now, one that is going to take great concentration and careful foot placement to succefully navigate. Failure is not an option, so while I concentrate on the tight rope my posts may be somewhat infrequent.

I am spending very little time on line as my time is better served right now being with him and helping in anyway I can. I read when I can, but haven't been in the right mindset to comment as I really don't feel like I have anything positive to contribute. So while you may not see me, and you may not hear me, I will be lurking. Hopefully we have a breakthrough to a better place soon.

All of your thoughts, prayers, hugs and support have been appreciated more then I can express, I'm not sure I would have gotten through this far without them. So I will end this with, Thank you and I'll be back.

9 comments:

  1. Faerie, I'm sorry that things are rough right now. Life has a way of getting tricky to navigate at times, that's for sure. You and your Musicman continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that things are much better for both of you soon. (((hugs)))

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  2. I hope things get better soon faerie. While you're lurking I'll be thinking about you, take your own sweet time, we're not going anywhere.

    Dee x

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  3. Lurk away Faerie! We are keeping you in our thoughts and will continue to do so. We know you will be back and writing when the timing is right.

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  4. Like everyone says lurk away. Have been thinking of you lately - so sorry that things are not the best right now. We sometimes forget that the patient has gone through a traumatic experience and being faced with your own mortality is frightening. It takes a while to overcome that fear and start living life again. My prayers are for full recovery in every way for both you and Musicman. Hang in there - we will be here waiting for your return.

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  5. I think it's great that your first loyalty is to Musicman! It shows what a loving and loyal wife you truly are:)!

    Will keep praying for his recovery, as well.

    Love,
    Kitty

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  6. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but my father-in-law had open heart surgery about a year ago, plus two blood clot set backs. I do feel for you. All this takes so long to get over and for the caretaker it is so stressful. My teeneager recently said that we should get him a worlds toughest guy tshirt because of all he has been throught he last year. I was impressed that my son picked up on how much strength his Grandfather had at a time when he likely appeared his weakest.

    Glad he is getting stronger. Take care of yourself. I know I've said that before but it is well worth repeating. We are here to listen to your vents, so don't hold back. We know your loyalty to your Husband. *hugs*

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  7. I feel guilty sometimes when I what to complain about Nick out here. I understand completely what you're saying. We do know how much you love your husband. No doubt ever. So if you do put complaints out here please understand that we know you are blowing off steam - not being in anyway disloyal.

    You write when ever you feel like it. We're here.

    Hugs,
    PK

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  8. Glad to see you posting, and lurking is a great idea for now while you need to be at your mans side.
    Make sure to take care of you too though!
    Thoughts and prayers are with you,

    -Emi J

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  9. Thank you all for the kind comments. I'm doing my best to keep myself healthy and to be as supportive as Musicman needs me to be. I'm so glad you see my loyalty to him, but for me I just don't demean my husband, ever. He does frustrate and irritate me at times, and I tell him that, but to expose him to others that way seems wrong to me. Having said that, I can't totally guarantee it won't happen, but I would be very dissappointed in myself if it did.

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