Wednesday, January 11, 2012

One step forward, Two steps back.

I find myself with some unexpected time to write so here I am. The only problem is my thoughts are colliding in my head, I really hate when that happens.

Musicman has been doing a little better each day. We have had a minor complication with some of the meds affecting his transplant and the beginning stage of possible rejection. Musicman has been very stable with no signs what so ever of rejection for the last 12 years. We have made the necessary changes to treat it and it should be just a minor blip for him.

Our daughter told me this morning that she is seriously considering leaving her boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. She is planning on moving back in with us. I am so ambivalent on so many levels with this.

Musicman and I had a wonderful interlude the other evening, some things have really stuck with me that I wanted to write about. But everything is colliding in my head.

It feels like I am chasing something and I just can't quite reach it. I probably need to to just relax and let it come to me, but I'm not so good at that.

I had the unique experience today of seeing Musicman with his work peers. We needed to go out and take care of stuff for his job and he isn't driving yet, so I played chaffeur. He is very good at what he does, he is well respected and well liked. It was very interesting just standing back, watching and listening to everyone. He works with a crew of about 25 men. Lots of testosterone.

One of my favorite hobbies is people watching, I could just sit and watch and observe for hours. I am also especially attracted to men who work with there hands, I found myself looking at all their hands. I have only been to his work place once prior to today and while I know of these men from my husband talking about his day at work I have never met most of them. It was interesting and another thought just kinda aimlessly bouncing around in my head.

So many things, they feel like different movie reels all running at the same time and I can't focus on any one thing. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep letting them run, eventually something will emerge.

20 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear that Musicman had a bit of a bump in his road to recovery. Sounds like perhaps a challenging situation with your daughter. It makes sense that you'd have mixed feelings. I'm not surprised that you're having trouble focusing on any one thing. You've had a lot going on! Prayers for Musicman's continued recovery! (((hugs)))

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    1. Challenging is a good way to describe my daughter. I haven't even really had a chance to think much about it yet. I'm just taking one minute at a time right now.

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  2. Glad to hear from you. Your post actually sounded a little less frazzled than the older ones. Either you are getting used to the challenges or taking them more in stride. Things will work out the way they should whether we stress or not and sometimes that is the hardest challenge of all - to just Let Go and Let God. Positive thoughts and prayers continually head your way. That beach chair is waiting.

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    1. I'm coming for that beach chair soon, lol. I got tired of being frazzled and decided to go with scattered for awhile and see how that goes. Not so much.

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  3. Sometimes I sit at the keyboard and let the thought poor out any way they want to. Sometime I end up posting it, sometimes not. But for me, when something is really bothering me, you know, rolling around in my head - I need to 'get it on paper'. Once I capture it in words I usually think it's not as bad as it was in my head. Anyway, I just enjoy hearing from you.

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. I'm glad you enjoy hearing the crazy things that run through my head, please, I beg you, if any of it makes sense to you, clue me in. LOL.

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  4. I love to people watch! How great for you to see him interact with his peers. Keeping you both in my prayers that everything goes well.

    As far as your daughter moving home, good luck with that...and put her to work. Late evening "gotta have this from the store, need to you go NOW" works for us. Spankings don't have to take THAT long! :)

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    1. I will say that while I often have the chance to see him work as he is always doing side jobs helping out family and friends, it was very different.

      As far as our daughter, she doesn't drive, I was actually driving her to work when she told me. I drove her this morning and it wasn't discussed, I'm good with that right now, lol.

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  5. Hugs to you, faerie! I so love to people watch. Whenever Daddy and I go out to dinner I always like to face the other tables so I can covertly watch the wait staff, other diners, etc. Or, just going to the grocery store and watching the interaction between a Dad and his little girl...people watching is hobby of mine! I do try to be discrete, but it's so fun and what's really funny is when I find other people watching me, lol!

    Hope Musicman gets everything worked out!

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. People are fascinating to watch aren't they? As far as other people watching me, I kind of tune it out. As I have mentioned before I have a few tattoos, large, colorful tattoos. They all are covered if I am wearing long pants or skirt, long sleeves and shoes. Most of the time, some or all are exposed, I often forget about them and still am surprised sometimes when complete strangers start asking about them.

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  6. I'm sorry that your head is swimming and that progress feels so slow. Nice to see the little encouragements too. I also am fascinated to watch my husband interact with others in his work situation. Hang in there, your thoughts will come together in time.

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    1. Isn't it cool getting to see that side of our guys? Just to walk through where he works and see the picture of me that he sees while he is working all day. It really was kinda cool.

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  7. I agree that this post sounds less frazzled too. Glad musicman is back once again on the road to recovery. You'll probably find your daughter, if she does move back in, will be out more than in :)
    I also love to people watch. It's fascinating and also love 'working' hands :)

    Dee x

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    1. I'm sure you're right about our daughter, it was just a bit of a shock at that moment.

      I definitely have a hand fetish, lol. I am really good with remembering names if I have faces to associate them with. I realized that most of the men I met yesterday I spent more time looking at their hands than there faces.

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  8. Ps: ahhh, now I realise what the individual reply button thingy is for! Duh :)

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  9. This reply thingy is a bit frustrating at the moment. I tried to leave you a comment on your blog, but can't access them? I can't get to lil's comments either. Hmmm...

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  10. Can you DO THAT?? Ha! :) I have a block list on fb a mile long but nobody on blogger has had that particular privilege ........ yet :) lol

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    1. I am such a tech challenged person, lol. It's been months and still haven't figured out how to add a pic. I try and then I get frustrated and stop. As for fb, I have a page because my sis in law set it up for me, I rarely ever use it and have about a dozen friends, all family out of town.

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  11. Hope his recovery blip is sorted and he will now bound forward and recover properly. xxxxx

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