Monday, January 30, 2012

Vanilla? Maybe Not.

I'm still thinking about what to put in an email for my hubby. Haven't figured it out yet, but I'm a persistent kinda gal and I know I will eventually figure it out. It is a lot more complicated then I first thought it was, and really isn't about him or this lifestyle I asked for. It is more about this little identity crisis I am going through related to my career and the current burnout I am experiencing. I'm not so sure a spanking will really help. Anyway, still thinking on that.

In the mean time, when I'm not awash in hormones things have been going great. One of the things that is really jumping out at me is we are not nearly as vanilla as I thought we were.

The truth is I never really thought about it all that much. Musicman's take on it is, it's just what we do. Yep that's what he tells me when I sometimes wonder about the things I want to do. It's not kinky, it's just what we do. I like the way my man thinks.

I am still kind of amazed that it totally escaped my notice how submissive I really am. 

One might think that a woman who is so used to not wearing underwear unless at work that it feels odd to actually wear them might just be a little more clued in. Not so much folks. It's just what I do, never thought anymore about it then that.

Musicman says I make it too easy for him, I take good care of him, I treat him well, I do what he wants me to do, I defer to him and he naturally leads. It is just who we are. He has admitted that he might be a little too comfortable and he needs to work a little more at what I want now. He does realize more then I give him credit for sometimes. He is not much of a talker though, never has been, and sometimes I let the fact that he isn't talking about it lead me to believe he isn't thinking about it or taking it seriously enough. Wrong.

I can see that even though some of the things are very subtle changes, they are also big changes. He is naturally dominant, but has suppressed it for so long because of the things I went through and how they affected me. Since his first instinct is to protect me, even from the nightmares and bad memories, I get that he has reservations about moving too fast. Smart guy. 

He also doesn't like the bruises, I wish I didn't bruise so easily, but I always have. I'm a bit of a klutz to boot so I always have stray bruises somewhere.

I slept in this morning while he got up and took our son to school. When he got home he came back to bed. 
I love the way he wakes me up, hands stroking me all over, I love his hands. The directive to roll over is enough to get me wet, hand spanking followed by the hairbrush, yummy. The delicious feel of his hot cum spewing all over my red ass, heaven. And that is just a snippet of round one. A small rest and we commenced to round two, hehehehe. He says I'm gonna bruise and I'm gonna feel it for awhile. I told him I like it that way. Yes, I'm a happy girl. Now if I could just get those pesky hormones to behave.

14 comments:

  1. Sounds wonderful. Hormones get gone.

    Because of your background, I hate to say something so obvious but you've been through a lot lately and your iron level may be low - that can cause one to bruise easily.

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    1. Please don't ever worry about pointing out the obvious, I often miss it, lol.

      I treat the hormone stuff with vitamins and supplements, never thought to check and see if any of them had iron in them. Guess what? They didn't so I am going to try it and see if it helps with the bruising.

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  2. Life minus labels is pretty good, sometimes. :)

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  3. MMmmmm.... that's the wonderful part of coming back together!! yummy!

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  4. Bruising easily can be a sign of several things going on...low iron, thyroid issues, etc. Have you ever mentioned it to your Dr?

    So, if you've realized you're not really so vanilla...what flavor would you pick to describe the two of you? :) (just a fun question)

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    1. Love the question, I would say I am Rocky Road, lol. Musicman is something more subtle, maybe Butter Pecan?
      Strange mix I know, but we are a strange couple, in a good way.

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  5. Maybe it doesn't matter how vanilla or not you are. It sounds like you are having some fun! As you said, you'll figure out that letter in good time.

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    1. It still constantly amazes me the things I am learning about myself now that I am taking the time to think about it. I'm happy to say most of it has been fun.

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  6. It's not kinky. It's just what we do. I like that explanation :) Your musicman sounds very wise faerie :)

    Dee x

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    1. He is, but sshhh, don't tell him, we wouldn't want him to get a big head, lol.

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  7. Musicman and Master have something in common they are both very quiet, not big talkers and like you sometimes that drives me crazy and works on my insecurities about whether he is serious or not. But as our oldest has pointed out "Dad" pays a lot more attention to things then what I think he does. Hope you find a way soon of getting the letter written so Musicman can help you. Hugs

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    1. It is only during the hormonal times when the insecurities hit that his lack of communication bothers me. It sounds like your oldest is pretty good at paying attention too. I'm hoping to get it figured out before it happens again, but we will see what happens.

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