So I thought I would try for a cohesive, positive post, lets hope the mind cooperates, lol.
Musicman is stable, his energy levels fluctuate greatly, but overall things seem good.
He was finally feeling well enough to try for some reconnection, if ya know what I mean.
It was quite wonderful, and of course made me think, what else would I do being the deep thinker I am.
Musicman and I are very fortunate that we are never apart over night. It was one of the things he made clear to me at the beginning of our relationship oh those many years ago. He expected me to be in his bed with him every night, I always have been.
He does travel a few days a month for work, it would be easier and more convenient for him to spend the night away, but he never does, he always comes home to me. This usually makes for several 16 hour days for him, but even when the weather is bad and I worry about him being on the roads he never sways, he is always home with me at night.
In the 26 years we have been together I can quite literally count on one hand the number of times we have been seperated, and it was always due to hospitalization.
About now you are probably scratching your head and going, hunh? Stick with me, I think I have a point, I think.
Because we are never apart, and we both have pretty high sex drives going without is very very rare for us. I'm thinking ya'll know I have been somewhat frustrated with it.
When we were able to finally reconnect it was pretty vanilla, but so intense. It sorta felt like losing my virginity all over again. Or at least the way it is described in those silly romance books. Most of the women I have talked with about it say it was no great shakes. And I maybe wrong, but it seems like most women(never really asked a guy, so can't say about them) whether good or bad it is a significant memory for them.
This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me. I wonder why I think it seems like losing my virginity? With my history, I don't have a significant memory of it. For me there was no teenage angst, or first night wedding jitters or any of the other things I've heard other women talk about. There's just no memory at all, I kind of look at it as I was never a virgin. I mean, obviously I was once, but it was taken from me at such a young age that I am grateful I don't have any memory of it, cause it sure couldn't have been good.
So, I wonder, why is my brain making this correlation?