Thursday, April 17, 2014

Some Much Needed Perspective

Perspective is an interesting thing. I was reminded of  that very thing today at work. I work with a woman who is just a few years younger than myself. She has pointed out to me that she and I are very much alike in many ways. For one, we see the world around us and deal with situations, in much the same way. She has even told me that she mentioned to her husband how much alike we are.

Her oldest child, a girl is the same age as my daughter. Both our girls are single moms to biracial daughters whom we both are helping to raise. Her son is a few years older than mine, but they have the same name. She married her high school sweetheart, though they are newlyweds due to the fact that they went their separate ways after school and both had previous marriages. We both have adult children that still live at home and neither of us are too pleased about that. We often find ourselves dealing with the same issues with our kids.

One of the things she often tells me is that she wants my life. Sounds rather odd since we seem to have very much the same life. The big difference is that her husband does not take care of her on a day to day basis the way Musicman does me. In effect, she wants a dominant man and she wants to nurture her submissive side. She hasn't said that in so many words, but it is easy to infer from what she has told me.

Another big difference that she has shared with me is her sex life. It is almost non existent. When they do have sex, "it last for three minutes then he is done." She has even said that she has complained to him "that he seduced her with porn star sex and now it's gone."  He even fell asleep on her once during sex.

I almost feel guilty when I tell her my relationship isn't like that. Oh sure, I don't get it as much as I would like due to the privacy issues, but it's never three minutes and done. Even when the house is full and we have to employ silent sex, 99% of the time it is totally satisfying for both of us and it has always been like that between us. That other 1%, when it doesn't work so well, is because my head is not in the right place, for whatever reason.

Sometimes I am tempted to confide in her that I live an alternative lifestyle, that I am submissive and Musicman is very much the HOH, but I won't. I doubt she would believe me if I did tell her because in my everyday life, I am anything but submissive. But, it is a good thing for me to hear her say that she wants my life, cause no matter how hard life has been lately and no matter what we are dealing with, I love my Musicman so much and I am so grateful for everything he does for me. It is good for me to be reminded that not everyone has the wonderful relationship that I enjoy, even if I occasionally want to hit him upside the head with a brick.
Provocative Dream Faerie © Nicole West

19 comments:

  1. Walking in someone else's shoes makes you realize how things could always be worse.

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    1. Yes it does and this was a welcome reminder of that for me.

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  2. This reminds me of the old saying that grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Anyway, it's good to get some perspective and find a woman who wants your life.

    FD

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    1. I'm not really one to compare my life to others, but sometimes when things aren't going so well it's good to remember that their are others who have it worse.

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  3. This post really brought a smile to my face Faerie. Sometimes we do need to step back a take a different look at the situation. Just remember, I have a caste iron skillet you can borrow if needed. :D

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. If I ever need to borrow a caste iron skillet I will remember who I can borrow it from. Or maybe I will borrow it and lend it to my friend, she seems to need it more than me right now.

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  4. You are oh so right…perspective is a WONDERFUL thing…so completely helps us appreciate what we have.

    Hugs,
    fiona

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    1. It really is a wonderful thing and something I needed some of right then.

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  5. Nothing is ever perfect, but I think most of us would not be willing to change our problems for those of another.

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    1. No matter how bad things do get on occasion, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. I'm simply not interested in walking through this world with anyone other than Musicman.

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  6. This is a great reminder. No matter what your situation, there is likely someone out there who would gladly trade :) Perspective does make all the difference.

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    1. I do know that, but it helps to sometimes have a face of someone that feels that way instead of just some random person I don't know.

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  7. You are right sometimes we need to be reminded. Reflective on our lives and others can make one realize all the positive in one's life. Brick, no kidding, I'll take one too please...for those times when I can't get through...thanks for reminding me to reflect on how much I love my man and all he does for me. :-) hugs

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    1. Want me to borrow the caste iron skillet from Cat and lend it to you? Yanno...for those times when we lose perspective.

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    2. :-) could be useful...though it would probably break the skillet - my husband can be really dense sometimes - but gosh do I love him :-)

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  8. Faerie, it is great that this woman could help you so much to put everything in perspective. Sometimes someone like her is all we need to see what we have, how much we are loved and how much we love our partners. I am glad that you can take these lovely thoughts about your Musicman into a hopefully fantastic Easter weekend. Happy Easter :)

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. I really should thank her, cause on the surface, she seems to have so much more than I do. Her sharing these private things reminded me not just of how good I actually have it, but also of what is really important in life.

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  9. Hi Faerie, I think it's wonderful you two have so much in common and understand the stresses each other face. I'm so glad too that she was able to give you a different perspective. Sometimes we need a reminder of what we have.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I did need that reminder, I just wish I could share with her some, so she could make the changes in her life she so obviously wants.

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