Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Disrespected

A rough night last night led to a rough morning. It could have all been avoided if only he had answered one question. It was an important question, one I have a right to have an answer to, but he didn't give me that answer.

This all goes back to the issue that has been plaguing Musicman for the last few months. The one in which I have stood by his side and completely supported him through, even though it was sometimes to my detriment.

We've had several conversations about this issue, I have expressed my thoughts and wishes repeatedly to him, to no avail. The most recent conversation was less than a week ago. I expressly asked him not to do something that he has been doing. I asked him not to do this thing because it has been putting us in a very difficult situation.

So, what did he do? He went and did the very thing I asked him not to do, again. When I asked for clarification, he was unable, or unwilling, to provide it. And then he wonders why I get pissed off. Really? How would he feel if I disrespected him that way? He wouldn't like it even one little bit.

Now, let me say that I understand why he is making these poor decisions, it is based in fear. An irrational fear that springs from his past. That kinda pisses me off too. If I can work as hard as I have, to face and conquer my past, then I feel he should at least make some small attempt to face his.

Instead he throws his doomsday scenario in my face like a threat. Let me just say, I have lived through his doomsday scenario, many years before I met him. I had no one to help me either. I had to figure it all out for myself and I did. Here is the funny thing about facing and conquering your fears, once you do, they no longer hold any fear or control over you.

The result of this incident, this whole situation really is, I no longer trust him to make the best decisions for us in this area of our life. At the very least, I feel he owes me an apology, then he needs to work really hard at regaining my trust.

We have discussed me taking over control in this area. That is something neither one of us wants, I highly doubt he would even be able to tolerate that. Or, we have also discussed me taking control of my contributions to this situation. I have no problems doing that, but he definitely does. He has already tried telling me how I am to do it. No, that isn't gonna fly with me. If I am taking control, I will do as I see fit and that won't be in any way, shape or form as to how he thinks it should be done.

Or, there is a third option, I could hit him upside the head with a brick and hope it knocks some sense into him and he will start actually hearing me when I speak. He will remember that we are both on the same team and that I am not a weak or stupid woman. He will learn to set his pride aside on occasion and accept help, even if it's just from me. Only time will I suppose as to how this all washes out. For the moment, Musicman has one very pissed off faerie to deal with.

I am not happy, I want to go!

30 comments:

  1. You find the best pics to go with your posts. Not sure i have ever seen a fairie that pissed off..
    I am sorry for all that is happening right now...you two need to catch a break. I hope he listens and hears you.....
    hugs abby

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    1. Yes, we really do need to catch a break, maybe when the weather breaks it will happen. I love hunting for my faerie pics, pinterest is my latest favorite place to find them.

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  2. Maybe a styrofoam brick could do the trick. Sorry.

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    1. A styrofoam brick...Hmmm...wonder where I might find one of those?

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    2. Michaels, Hobby Lobby, any craft store.

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  3. Faerie, sorry that you have this trouble to deal with. It really sounds like MM’s pride has come into your way. If anybody, I’d think that he should accept help from you, as his partner. And this really sounds like a lot of talking that you need to do and I hope that you find a way through the trouble you have. I think my mood would also be comparable to yours and the one shown in the picture.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Yes, I am definitely dealing with a bit too much pride on his part. He is a very proud man and he has every right to be, except when it holds us back. It is a very fine line for him and something I can't change. The root of this issue is something that we have always had very different views about and I am sure it will continue to be an ongoing thing for us.

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  4. Iron skillet. The old fashioned kind your grandmother used. It works wonders.

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    1. Dang, I knew I should have grabbed that skillet when I had the chance.

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  5. Understand. And sometimes a metaphorical brick works quite well!

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    1. That's exactly what I was trying to deliver, Maybe, for the moment, it may have worked. Unfortunately, this is an area of our lives where we are diametrically different in our thinking. I won't quit trying to make him see things my way, but I do that knowing he will never really change his views.

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  6. The picture you posted with your blog certainly captured your feelings. You must be so frustrated. Let's hope he comes to his senses soon.

    FD

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    1. Yes, it really did. As for him coming to his senses about this issue, most likely that won't happen. The best I can really hope for is small victories. That's okay, I'll take those, cause I believe they will add up to big victories for me.

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  7. Hey Faerie...hopefully MM will read this post and it will hit him upside the head. If it doesn't, you are welcome to borrow one of my caste iron skillets. ;)

    MM...if you are reading this, please remember that an HoH is an imperfect human (just like the rest of us), doesn't have to have all the answers and can admit when he is wrong.

    Sending lots of positive energy for both of you.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. If he hasn't already, he will read it, he reads all my posts. I'll let you know if I need to borrow your skillet. Maybe if he hears it from someone other than myself it will sink in, that tends to be a pattern for us.

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  9. I'm voting for the brick option. It just seems the most direct. I hope things get better friend.

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    1. Thanks, to both you and Cassie. I'm tempted to say things have to get better cause they couldn't get much worse, but I hate to tempt fate.

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  10. I vote for the third choice. It sounds like he needs to have a "a talk with Jesus" conversation. I hope that he makes the right choices, apologizes and he does all that he can to earn your trust back and to keep it.

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    1. The third option does seem to be the popular choice, guess it's a good thing I'm not really a violent woman. I know eventually we will get past this, we always do. Other than this one area, that has been an issue on and off for us for our entire relationship, he is really the best man I could have asked for.

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  11. Oh faerie, that just totally sucks! I am so sorry. I understand…have totally been there! I wish you luck…patience…and will power!

    hugs,
    fiona

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    1. Thanks Fiona, I am going to need all three of those to get through this. It's good to know I'm not the only one who, despite how much I love my man, sometimes wants to just smack him upside the head.

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  12. ack, oh no :( many (((Hugs)))

    i do hope it all gets sorted to your mutual satisfaction with the minimum possible hassle and stress xx

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    1. Thanks mc kitten, I think we have gotten through the worst of it. Despite my quick temper, I am not one to hold a grudge or grind an axe.

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  13. I have smiled and nodded all through this post. I totally understand the "brick" option, but if Musicman is anything like Dan he will remain totally oblivious. But you can give it a try. Just keep a smile on your face when you resort to it.

    Hope it finally gets sorted.

    Also - I have never seen a fairy in a bikini, but I love her expression.

    Hugs
    Ami

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    1. Yep, oblivious is a great way to explain it. Men! Gotta love them, cause it's illegal to do them in. It may take awhile longer, but we will sort it all through, we always do. I'm so glad you liked the pic, I so love finding just the right one for each and every post.

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  14. Faerie,

    There is nothing easy about this on-going issue! It has to be so tough and I can understand where you are coming from.
    I hope the two of you reach peace with it all, soon.

    In the meanwhile, the third option...:P

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    1. The third option does seem to be the popular choice. It's nice to know I'm not the only one to have considered it a viable option. Time will tell, but I am hoping we have gotten through the worst of it.

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  15. Fae
    I do hope things work out, I am sure they will!!
    The picture is great for the post :)

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    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence Atiya, I am sure eventually we will work it out too. There really is no other option for us, we are in this till the end. I really enjoy picking just the right pic for each post.

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