Wednesday, December 5, 2012

New and Confused

My computer is still not fixed, but I'm coping as best I can for the moment. Everyone seems quite interested in this new direction he sometimes takes things. I mentioned briefly in a previous post that he has begun narrating very detailed scenarios during playtime. Scenarios that have made me think of things, want things, that I've never thought about or wanted before. He doesn't do it all the time, just on occasion, but it is becoming more frequent.

I"ll admit that these scenarios definitely turn me on some, but they also confuse me, for many reasons. The first time he did it I was surprised, but once I thought about it more I realized I shouldn't have been. I've actually known about these fantasies of his for most of our relationship. I just never paid them all that much attention, cause they never seemed doable to me.

His fantasy, the detailed narratives he gives me, are scenarios involving a third person. Sometimes it's another guy, but most often it's another woman. The man has a slight obsession with seeing me with another woman. As I said, I've known about this for a long time but never paid it much attention and never considered it as something he might actually want to pursue.

He says he likes the idea of me being with two men, but that it will never happen because he doesn't want to get his junk that close to another guys. His words, not mine. I've never been with more then one man at a time, and never really wanted too. It's not like I haven't had the opportunity in the past, I just never took it. But, the way he describes it, in detail, when he's got me all worked up?  Ummm...yeah, it so works for me.

There is one problem with that though. I've been monogamous for almost three decades now. I haven't even thought about the possibility of being with anyone other then him in so long. Realistically, I don't think I could do it. I can appreciate a good looking man when I see one, but there is no urge or thought at all about being with them. Unless of course, I count Trace Adkins and Tony Stewart, I'd do either one of them in a heartbeat. That's also rather easy to say since chances of that actually ever happening are slim to none.

Then there are the times he talks about me being with a woman. I got big issues with that one. I'm not sexually attracted to women in any way. I've never even kissed a female, ever. Yet, he has very detailed scenarios that he shares with me, and they do seem to turn me on, in the moment. In the light of day, when I think back over it, can't even imagine it. Have I mentioned that I'm finding this all quite confusing?

We've had some great talks about it. When I express doubts, he assures me this is just a fantasy, that it won't really ever happen. Yeah...I'm not so sure I believe that. First of all, I would like for him to be able to fulfill his fantasies. Doing this for him is a strong pull for me, and what happens if I actually get to a place where I can imagine something like this happening?

Judging from the amount of detail he gives, this is something he has thought quite a bit about. I'm just flat out confused about the whole situation. I like it when he does it, which is occurring more and more often, but it raises a lot of questions for me. Unfortunately, I'm not really finding any answers to my questions.

19 comments:

  1. These are fantasies: nothing to obsess about and no need to worry if they turn you on. Being turned on by a fantasy is not the same as wanting it in reality.
    A lot of us fantasise about scenarios we'd run away from screaming if it would really happen to us: like forced sex by a stranger. That is no problem, as long as we remember what's fantasy and what's reality.
    Does that mean Musicman will never want to convince you to try a threesome? No, it doesn't. But if he would ever seriously propose it, that doesn't mean you have to agree either, not even to please him.
    His fantasy, if I'm reading this right, is that you freely, willingly participate, that all three participant enjoy it. So if you decide it's something you can't do, that'll be the end of it, because then reality won't even come close to what he wants.
    What I want to say is: stop worrying, enjoy what you have, don't feel guilty about your feelings, and wait and see.

    Hugs, Julia

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    1. You make some great points Julia. I'm not really worrying, as much as I am thinking about it. Kinda like exploring all the nooks and crannies of a new house, ya never know what might be found around the next corner, lol. It's sometimes overwhelming and sometimes surprising, but it's not at all a bad thing ;D

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  2. A lot of men have such fantasies. I am not one of them. Adding someone else adds all kinds of complications.

    But,there is a big difference between a fantasy and reality.

    Good luck.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. All kinds of complications I doubt we will ever really try to overcome. This may be one of those things that stays fantasy, or may, down the road, become reality. I don't know that answer right now, but I'm enjoying the journey, even when the twists sometimes confuse me :)

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  3. I fantasize about being young and nubile but it's not going to happen. That's what fantasies are. Let him enjoy his. The reality is never as good as the fantasy.

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    1. LOL, I'm with ya on that fanatsy girl :D He's definitely enjoying his fanatsy and I'm kinda in awe that I'm starting to also. That's why it's fun to explore with him.

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  4. A few thoughts....

    1. He is a virile man, of course he dreams of a 3some.
    2. 2 words, Eiffel Towel ( have him google it as a sex position)
    3. The solution...A SWINGERS CLUB.

    Admittedly, it is my solution for many problems, but in your case it could work. There is no commitment walking in the door ( pun not intended). And it would let you see woman on woman action so you can decide if it is for you. If you want to act on any part, you are in e right place.

    Anyway, I will stop the sermon here, but email me if you want to discuss further.

    TTFN
    Mr. No Name

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    1. I did google Eiffel Tower after I saw it on your earlier post. He may not have known the name, but he sure didn't need google for the details, heeheeheee :)

      Unfortunately, we don't have a swinger's club anywhere near by us. I highly doubt I could get him into one anyway. He's a tad anti-social, which is probably the biggest stumbling block to ever making this more then a fantasy. Hard to meet some one for a threesome or anything else when one person in the couple doesn't like people.

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  5. Mr. Woods and I have seriously talked about adding others. Ive never done it before. I love the idea of two men but being with a woman is a little scary and weird. However, I have kissed a woman. It didnt turn me on. It did nothing, but it didnt repulse me either. Id be happy to make out with a woman for him. And eventually, maybe do more with a woman while he watches, but doesnt participate. Then maybe we can talk full threesomes. Maybe start small? Kiss a woman first and see what happens?

    Dont get me wrong, I am not encouraging you to do anything you dont want to do, but I do understand wanting to fulfill his fantasies.

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    1. I suppose kissing a woman would be a good place to start, lol. Problem is, I don't really like women in general and don't have "girlfriends". Honestly, I'm still at the stage of not being turned off when he mentions it, that has happened a couple times.

      I'm glad you get that a large part of it is fulfilling his fantasies. And, don't worry about encouraging me in the wrong direction, I'm not all that easily influenced. I do appreciate any all advice though :)

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  6. It's interesting that doing it for him has a strong pull for you and you wonder what happens if you get to a place where you can imagine something like that happening.

    It'll also be interesting to see if this is only a fantasy for him or whether he'd like to make it a reality.

    I have no idea what the end game will be but if he does wind up wanting to make it a reality, I guess the key is whether doing it for him will overcome whatever reservations you may have.

    Let us know how it all works out.

    FD

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    1. I'm sure I'll be talking more about it, who else would I talk about this stuff with?

      I don't know where this will lead, or if he even knows. What I do know is that it has opened another avenue for us to explore. That's always a good thing :)

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  7. I have fantasies I want to keep as fantasy. And then there are things that maybe could cross over into reality.

    Either way, I'm too practical and emotional to let a third person in. I'm not really sure it's a situation where we could predict the outcome. So i'm quite certain that it will never happen.

    Perhaps it would be prudent for you to just accept that if he says it's ONLY a fantasy, that that's what it is.

    Good luck and *hugs*

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    1. I've always said, "I don't play well with others and I don't share". That would seem to rule out the possibility of someone joining us :)

      You are probably right about accepting what he says about it only being a fantasy, the problem with that is I've never been good at prudent, lol. It really is just something else for us to explore together, and of course my need to over think everything.

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  8. I agree with most of the comments above. Any fantasy is fine with me, as detailed as anyone wants to make them. Keep enjoying them and encouraging musicman too. But I feel bringing anyone else into a working, near 30 year monogamous relationship is not going to be beneficial to the relationship.

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. Oh, even if that were to eventually happen, it would be a long ways down the road. But, the darn man's got me thinking. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes, not so much, lol :D

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  9. Fantasies are great, everybody should have them.
    But even greater is when you can share them with somebody. That Musicman shares his fantasies with you is monumental, that is something not many men can do with their wives.
    But being able to share doesn't mean that those fantasies are more likely to get real. That's not the function of fantasies. If everybody's fantasies were made real , you would not recognize this planet anymore.
    Let fantasies, even shared fantasies, just stay fantasies.

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    1. Hmmmm...monumental? Really? That's kinda sad.

      This may easily be one fantasy that stays just that, or it may change someday, I don't know yet. The fun is in the exploring on the way to that decision.

      In this instance, he's opened my mind about somethings and is changing my views on some things. That's pretty awesome :)

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  10. I think as long as your communicating about these fantasies thats a great start and whether they become reality or not its a great way of understanding what makes each other tick.

    Opening our minds up to scenarios can be scary but its growth and thats always a good thing.

    x

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