Thursday, December 6, 2012

Confusion a Catalyst for Change

Sex is a funny thing, it can involve our deepest emotions or no emotions at all. It has the power to devastate and wound, or to build trust and enable growth. My earliest experiences devastated and wounded me. My recent experiences have built trust and provided me opportunities for growth.

Dominance and submission can be a part of sex or nothing at all to do with it. It's been a mix for me. D/s outside the bedroom has been an integral part of my relationship for my entire relationship, it just works for us. Introducing D/s into the bedroom has been a way for us to explore ourselves and each other.

It's opened doors I never even thought to stand in front of, much less go through. Contemplating a threesome is just one of those doors that D/s has brought me too. It's open and we are standing at that threshold together. I find that awesome and comforting all at the same time.

If we should choose to take a step forward, it will be done together. It is something I would likely do to please him. To fulfill his fantasies, if that's what he really wants. It's not something I ever worry about him forcing me into in any way.  That's not what D/s is about for us, it's about freedom.

I've found freedom in D/s, it's a dynamic that feels natural and normal for me. It represents a side of myself that for one reason or another I often suppressed. I no longer have any reason to do that and I'm loving it. Not only do I get to be more authentically me, but so does he. I know he has suppressed some of his naturally dominant inclinations in the past and I know much of that is because of me. He no longer has any reason to do that.

I sometimes find the things he proposes confusing, but confusion in this instance isn't necessarily a bad thing. In this instance it is a catalyst for growth, never a bad thing.  I do tend to be an over thinker, and this topic has been no exception. I'm just grateful I have some place to come and work through the confusion.

I have no idea where this fantasy of his will take us, he may not know for sure either. That's okay, it's something we will figure out together to both of our satisfaction. At this point, we are at the very beginning of that road and aren't in any hurry to traverse it.  We're going to take our time, maybe some side trips to check out the scenery, or points of interest. The journey really is more fun then the destination and we travel well together. 


  1. So true. It is all about the journey.



  2. What a great journey for sure- regardless if you go left or right.

    Master and I too have recently been discussing a threesome. Although we have his deployment to conquer first.

    Maybe one day it will happen or maybe not.

    I think he likes to talk about it in the fantasy way much more than perhaps it every happening.

    But that of course is part of the fun too.


    1. I think for Musicman, right now, he enjoys the fantasy of it more then the reality too. Maybe it's a guy thing? Good luck getting through the deployment, and thank you both for your service. In my opinion, military families serve right along with the service member.

  3. Oh I can so relate to what you're saying. I completely agree, D/s is so amazingly freeing and has been a long suppressed part of me as well. It is amazing this journey we are all on. I think the direction that you take will be the right one because you are taking that direction together.

    1. Yanno, I'm not sure I suppressed it as much as I just didn't actively acknowledge it. Acknowledging and embracing it has been so amazing I wish I had done it sooner. Oh well, I am now, that's the important part. No matter where we end up, as long as we travel together, it's good with me :)

  4. Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc
    I think your very courageous to go down the D/s path in the first place. To have such a loving relationship as you obviously do. Good luck with the new fantasy. As my mother always said, don't know if you like it till you try it. It sounds like the worst thing that may come out is potential embarrassment if you really don't like it? No one has died of embarrassment...yet. ;) to post about it! I really would like to know how it turns out.

    1. Thanks for the lovely compliment. We have always had a strong relationship built on love, trust and respect. I'm intrigued that you think it was courageous of me to propose this. For me, it is the fact that I had such a strong relationship that made me want to try it.

      If it ever happens, and I don't die of embarrassment, I'll definitely let ya'll know :)