There's that moment.
The moment immediately after the strap falls,
immediately after the paddle bites.
My mind runs so quickly.
What was I thinking?
Why would I subject myself to this?
Why do I seek this?
What if this isn't what I want?
Then I remember.
All I have to do is breathe.
Surrender floods in with the breath,
my mind empties,
control is given over and given up.
Freedom comes in the surrender.
Held within the physical pain,
release from the emotional pain,
release from the mental pain.
I question no more,
I want no more,
I desire no more,
Freedom is what I seek,
pain is what I seek.
All I must ever do is