Wednesday, April 17, 2013

That Moment

There's that moment.
 
The moment immediately after the strap falls,
immediately after the paddle bites.
 
Pain.
Searing.
Hot.
Intense.
 
My mind runs so quickly.
 
What was I thinking?
Why would I subject myself to this?
Why do I seek this?
What if this isn't what I want?
 
Then I remember.
 
BREATHE.
 
All I have to do is breathe.
 
Surrender floods in with the breath,
my mind empties,
control is given over and given up.
Freedom comes in the surrender.
 
Held within the physical pain,
release from the emotional pain,
release from the mental pain.
 
I question no more,
I want no more,
I desire no more,
 
BREATHE.
 
Freedom is what I seek,
therefore,
pain is what I seek.
 
All I must ever do is
BREATHE.
 
 

30 comments:

  1. Perfect. You captured the moment brilliantly.

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  2. Lovely, and what a great moment it is to surrender to the pain and the pleasure comes through.

    x

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    Replies
    1. It really is a wonderful moment, isn't it?

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  3. Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Your welcome, thank you for the lovely compliment :)

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks Terpsichore, I'm happy you enjoyed it :)

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  5. Beautiful words. You are so very gifted.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Sunnygirl, lets just say I was inspired, lol :)

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  6. Yes the moments are so precious, you stated it perfectly.

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    1. Precious, yet confusing, until I remember to breathe :)

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  7. So much said in so few words! Beautiful.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you DelFonte, I'm glad you liked it :)

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  8. You've said it so simply and yet so beautifully.

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    1. Thank you, I'm really a simple girl at heart :)

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  9. yes.

    I can't tell you how many nights before meeting Master I lay in bed, wide awake thinking "who fucking does this? Who WANTS to be beaten this way? What kind of sick fuck gets off on this?"

    And then I breathe.
    And remember.

    And it's okay.

    (hi I'm nilla and I'm a sick fuck... *laughs*)

    nilla

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    1. LOL nilla, it's kinda crazy isn't it, and yet so fulfilling :)

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  10. Replies
    1. Just a few words roaming around in my head :)

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  11. Exquisite, faerie. It is exactly this. I'm crying....

    (((hugs)))

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    1. I'm hoping they are tears of happiness and understanding, otherwise I would feel very bad.

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    2. Yes, tears of happiness and understanding, silly faerie. Sometimes I feel like a weirdo that I need that. Long ago I wrote that the physical pain takes the emotional pain, transfers it to flesh and poof - gone.

      Yes, I wonder if I am crazy when it gets intense, but he's always there with a soft word, encouragement, I feel his love in that act - I sacrifice ego to him, and he sacrifices to me as well. It is a wondrous gift, and sometimes misunderstood.

      You phrased it here, speaking my heart as well as your own, more eloquently than I ever could have hoped to have done.

      Thank you & (((hugs)))

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  12. You're right. It is just breathe. And why oh why am I seeing Drew Barrymore at the top of the stairs at the palace in EverAfter as she's dressed for the ball saying "Breathe..." :)

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    1. I haven't seen that movie, so I can't answer that question, lol :) I just know, in that moment, all I have to do is breathe, and that is a very good thing.

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