Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Does He or Doesn't He?

I mentioned in yesterday's post that Musicman threatened to spank me Saturday. We had been having words at the time, sharp words. That definitely got my attention. Not because I am in any way worried about him punishing me. But because it seemed like he was intimating he was going to do that, punish me.

Not such an unusual thing in a DD relationship, but we don't have that. I have never mentioned wanting that to him. I doubt he even knows what it means. He is the one that said right from the very beginning that he did not want to micromanage me or give me rules.

I've also said before that I don't need a reason for him to spank me. I don't see getting spanked as a negative thing and have never really considered it as a form of discipline. I've also never really thought all that much about him really disciplining me. I know what my responsibilities are and don't have many problems meeting them.

I do think he prefers to have some kind of reason to spank me, but I don't see that as my issue. If he wants a reason, he is free to find one, or make one up, or whatever he wants to do. But, this is the second time he has threatened to spank me when we where having words.

So, that makes me wonder, does he want DD? I suppose I could ask him. Right after I explain it to him, that is. But, it might be more interesting to just wait and see what happens. For one thing, we don't really argue, disagree or have words all that often. So it may be awhile before the situation comes up again.

Also, when he has done it, he has always phrased it in the form of a question. Maybe he thinks he is a contestant on Jeopardy and that is required, who knows. But realistically, that is not a question I am ever going to answer, so he may as well quit asking it.

I mean really, who answers a question like that? Does he really, in that moment, think I am going to give him an answer? I haven't yet. When he has pushed the issue, the most I have done is not disagree with him. That isn't exactly agreeing, but it is the most he is gonna get.

So in essence, I guess if it ever does happen, it is just gonna happen. If that is really the way he is feeling at that moment, then instead of asking, he should just do it. I think, at some point, given the fact that his dominance is coming to the foreground more, it will eventually happen. It wasn't this time, it may not be next time, or the time after that. But, at some point, I think it will happen. I guess when it does, that's when I will explain DD to him, unless of course he asks first.

30 comments:

  1. I think spanking and using it as a form to punish or at least a threat kind of goes hand in hand. At least for me and DH it does. Not that he does it very often. But I agree, instead of threatening he should just do it! Same as DH.

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    1. For us it hasn't, but I think he might want it just a little wee bit, lol. Sometimes...maybe, when he is starting to get frustrated with me, that's when he has said it. He should just do it, I'll let ya know of he does ;)

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  2. perhaps this progression is natural- wether it is D or another variation TTWD it sounds very very organic for the 2 of it... an itsn't that neat!

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    1. It does seem to be a very organic progression, and you have no idea how neat that is. He is very up front with me about the fact that he does not read other blogs or look for any info on his own about this subject. I do some times send him things, posts or articles I like, but not very often.

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  3. Oh yes this is interesting. I also think its going to happen eventually. And I also see it as a kind of natural progression. I'm not sure MM is as clueless about dd as you think lol. He's sounds to me, as if he's testing the water and checking your reaction to his threat. You haven't run away screaming so......... :)
    With this is mind, it can be possible to have punishments without having lots of rules and regulations or any micromanagement.
    Not that I 'want' you to be punished you understand, but I'll be interested in your thoughts about it all should it ever happen. Only because as a fellow spanko, punishments do feel differently to play, in ways I didn't realise at first.

    Dee x

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    1. Anything he knows about DD is purely gut instinct. He does not read blogs or articles or in anyway look for info about this. He reads what I send him, but that's not much.
      Never anything even remotely referring to DD, lol.

      I do think he is testing my reaction, and no, I haven't run away screaming, lol. If it ever happens I'll let you know :D

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  4. Even though he said he didn't want to punish at first if you talked about it now he might be much more open to it that he was at first. He must at least be thinking about it if he has made this statement twice already. If it is something you want you could structure it however you are both comfortable. Good luck with the talk if you decide to have it.

    Dee is right. Even as a fellow spanko I find real punishment spankings very different that those for play.

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    1. It was really just something that struck me, that I wondered about. It may happen someday, but it's not something either one of us is actively seeking.

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  5. And so it begins. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

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  6. I think it'll be very interesting to see what he comes up with all by himself. Is the dynamic evolving/changing in his head naturally or has he been thinking about it intentionally?

    Wow...a whole new piece for you to get your head around if he tries anything new.

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    1. I know, like I don't have enough to try and wrap my head around already? LOL.

      With him, I think it is a combination of both, he is thinking about it, and evolving naturally. He isn't into reading blogs or articles or in any way seeking to educate himself on the subject. Yet, he keeps surprising me, in a good way, with what he does :)

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  7. I think maybe you shouldn't wait until the next opportunity presents itself, but instead just ask him. Maybe he has been thinking about it but just doesn't know that's what he wants. Better to talk it over now though. IMO. :)

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    1. As it happens, the next opportunity presented itself last night. He reads here regularly, though he rarely ever comments in real life, and never on here. He did ask me about this post last night and we talked about it :)

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  8. I agree just see what evolves. I bet he knows more about DD than you think. My husband never heard of DD, but he certainly plays with the dynamic.

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    1. I think it is much the same with my husband, he doesn't know the terms or what the initials stand for. To him, it's just what we do.

      He has always said that, since way before I knew what TTWD meant :)

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  9. How interesting that he brought it up without really even knowing what it is. We go back and forth a lot. Spanking is fun for us, and we'd once ruled out doing it as punishment. Yet, every now and then it creeps its way in. While I like spankings, when they're preceded by something I did wrong, the tone is different. It's not always bad, but it's good at setting me straight -- that's how I look at it.

    Also, I like your faerie picture :)

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    1. Oh honey, there's not much chance of setting me straight, lol. Those days are long gone :)

      I just think it is more a natural progression for him, something I've been noticing a bit more of lately. Something I like, a lot, lol.

      Isn't she cool, I spotted her a while ago. I waited to use her, I find so many I like. I listen for them to tell me what post they want.

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  10. I think you may be right = but it's a win win for you isn't it?

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  11. I tried to explain DD to my wife. She said that spanking was a reward not a punishment. She is right. So, now, it is a reward for my efforts during our intimate moments.

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    1. I did end up explaining it last night, after he read this post. He said, "It sounds fun to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there."

      Reality is, if we were trying to achieve something other then pleasure, reward would have to be the way we utilized it too. I am, after all, a spanko :)

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  12. LOL at "Maybe he thinks he is a contestant on Jeopardy and that is required, who knows."

    spanking isn't a punishment in our part of the world either. but i HAVE brought it up to BIKSS> and his answer is still no. I think if I ever had a fight with him bad enough that he threatens to spank me then I know he's reeeeally mad. but yeah, i don't think i'll want a punishment spanking.

    Maintenance tho, is a different thing. we reconnect with it, and get back into the right dom/sub zone.

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    1. LOL, watching Jeopardy together is one of those nerdy old people things we do. I just couldn't resist when it popped into my head :)

      Musicman's answer is still no too, so is mine really. The couple times he has said that have been when he is frustrated with me and my attitude. As an attitude adjustment tool, it would definitely work, he just has to get to that point.

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  13. Maybe he threatened to do it but didn't actually do it because he wanted to see your reaction to the idea first.

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    1. I think that's exactly what he was doing. Guess now he knows my reaction, lol. Hopefully we won't be confronted with a situation like this again any time soon. But, if we are, maybe he will stop asking and just do it :)

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    2. you sound as if you'd like him to... hmmm?

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  14. I snorted water out of my nose at Dragon's Rose's post, lol. Indeed, faerie, and so it begins.

    Daddy and I agree, you can correct a spanko with spanking.

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    1. That made me chuckle too :)

      We talked about this post, and DD in any form other then play, is more then likely not in our future. It's just not something either one of us want right now.

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