Why Not?

I've been quite distracted lately, by life. I just have so many serious issues going on. Couple that with limited time to write, and I have been feeling somewhat lost. Kinda just surfing the tide and praying like heck I'm not going down for the third time.

I'm old enough, experienced enough, to know, duck my head and hang on, this too shall pass. Oh yeah, don't forget the deep breath before going under for the final time, it helps.

I don't particularly like to live my life in a reactionary manner, but survival sometimes requires it.

I was pleasantly surprised when I finally found a minute to read and saw that Spanky had issued a June writing challenge. Just what I needed to try and get focused again. It will also provide a pleasant escape, a time to talk, or write I guess, about something I truly love:

COCKWORSHIPPING.

Or, men in general. Cause let's face it ladies, is there anything that makes a man more different from us then the fact that they have a cock and we don't?

This is the challenge, as issued:

The CWS Challenge for June is to write a post on the topic "Why you should worship your husband's cock."  I hope some of you have thoughts to share about this topic.  Maybe someone will read your post and be inspired to finally take the plunge? Or somewhere a hubby will show it to his wife and say "See!  This is what I've been trying to tell you."

My immediate reaction is: why not?

My childhood occurred from the late 60's through the 70's, the height of the women's revolution. Unfortunately, I was raised by a southern belle mother, who went to her marriage bed a virgin and had been taught that ladies don't enjoy sex. I'm not sure why, but one of the strongest memories I have, about what my mother taught me was, "If you've seen one man, you've seen them all." When she referred to "men", she really meant, a man's genitalia, she just couldn't bring herself to express it any other way.

I'm not fond of the word cock, or really any of the other words associated with the actual organ, yet, I do love it. I also know, that what my mother told me wasn't true. No man is exactly the same. Saying, "if you have seen one cock, you have seen them all," is as ignorant as saying that if you've seen one nose, or set of eyes, or pair of lips, you've seen them all.  It's just not true.

That is where the wonder lies for me. I am extremely aware and intrigued, by the differences in the female and male body, the epitome of which, for me, is the cock. I have seen many a man, and have enjoyed many an exploration of the male anatomy. I'm not one to settle, I kept at it, until I found the perfect one for me.

One of my favorite things to do is brush up against Musicman, in public, reach out and gently stroke that most enigmatic pieces of anatomy. Can I make "him" respond? Will "he" move and grow for me?  Musicman doesn't actually care for that very much. I sometimes find it hard to restrain myself, but I do my best. It's a learning curve for me. One I've been on for a long time.

I've written in the past about the the power of a blowjob. This post occurred before the advent of the CWS Network. It was when I first met Spanky and learned that other women loved giving blowjobs as much as I did. It was the first time I heard the term cockworship. I have since become, "the bj lady". That is the most used search term to find me, or some form of blowjobs and power.

I'm here to say, a cock is a beautiful thing. I could easily tell you what works me, for us, but that's not really the important thing. The important thing is what works for you and your man. It is a very unique, individual thing. Take your time, explore, learn what works and what doesn't. Take the time to learn the finer points and nuances, of giving your man something no other can give.

As you lay in bed at night, reach out, let your hands roam. Pay attention. Not just to the way his cock responds, but to his overall response. I tend to start at the balls, gently stroking upwards, reveling in the growth as the steel emerges. I identify as a sub and rarely move on until he has voluntarily divested himself of any barriers. Once he has done that, it becomes a free for all.

As I have been stroking, experiencing the transformation, my mouth has involuntarily begun to salivate. I have begun to crave the fullness of him filling my mouth, hitting the back of my throat. I breathe deeply to allow relaxation of my throat muscles.

He may grab my hair and forcefully fuck my face. Yeah, I love that. Or, Sometimes, he chooses to lie back and enjoy, as I explore. Giving me my head, as it were. Licking here, sucking there, flicking on occasion at that unique bulbous tip. I work my way up, around and down, with soft flutters of my tongue. I may impale myself on his hard length, supported by my hands on the "twins".  I love that too.

There are so many things to experience and explore. I could go on and on about the ways I love to taste him. How could I ever get tired of learning how to worship my man?

So, not exactly the challenge that was issued, but I ask, why not excel at cockworshipping?

Your man will only thank you for learning.

"Are you too tired for a Blowjob?"

 

 

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
Thomas Merton

"Are you too tired for a blowjob?"

 

I bet some of us have heard this before. Or some may be thinking, that doesn't sound very Domly, he shouldn't ask, he should just tell me to give him a blowjob. Afterall, as a sub isn't it my place to serve? Aren't I his to use as he pleases?

 

Well, I agree completely, he doesn't need to ask, he can just tell me, but he won't. That's just not in him to do that. He has a core belief that a man does not take pleasure without giving his woman pleasure. A belief I whole heartedly support I might add. Just one of the many reasons I love him so much.

 

I certainly don't want to do anything to change that belief. What I do want to do is get him to understand how much pleasure I get from giving him pleasure. When he's tired or had a long day, I want to make him feel better. A blowjob always makes him feel better.

 

There is something so soothing and satisfying about laying my head on his thigh, face to face with his beautiful manhood. Something so comforting for me knowing that I can take my time and explore to my hearts content. Licking and stroking and sucking, spending time on all his most sensitive areas, my only goal, his pleasure.  

 

There is a total abscence of expectation on my part, other then to bring him pleasure. That is very powerful and very freeing for me. Obviously he is free to participate as much or as little as he would like. He might just lay there and enjoy, maybe occasionally gently stroking my hair and back, that's perfect. He might grab me by the hair and fuck my face, that's perfect too.  He might do both, or neither, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that it feels good to him.

 

The mental effects for me, of giving him pleasure, in any way he desires at that moment, are the same as a more intense session that is focused on me. In turn, my body responds to the mental stimulation in a physical way. The same physical way it responds to the aforementioned intense session focused on me. In short, I get off too.

 

He may never be entirely comfortable telling me he wants or needs a blow job. Until he is I will keep asking him, "are you too tired for a blowjob?" 

 

Just Another Friday Night

A wonderful spanking with the magic paddle followed the reconnection activities I wrote about in my last post, but I didn't share the details. Selfish of me, I know. It was lovely but not my focus at the moment. Since I'm a sharing kinda girl, I'll share my most recent spanking.

The heat has returned here, with temps in the high 80's, so we decided to relax and watch some TV in the airconditioning. We rarely turn on the airconditioning throughout our home cause I have very sensitive sinuses and it gives me terrible headaches. We do however, usually have the air going in the bedroom so we can sleep comfortably.

Musicman was sitting on the lounge and I was reclining on the bed, just relaxing and talking about our day. I got up to use the bathroom which is directly outside our bedroom. While I was in there I started hearing slapping noises coming from the bedroom. Musicman had picked up the leather bitch paddle and was slapping his thigh with it, loudly.

The sound alone was enough to get my blood running. I have to walk past where he was sitting to get back to the bed, I didn't make it. He grabbed me and pulled me in to stand between his legs, then he twirled me around and told me to sit. So, I sat. That's what all obedient subs would do right?

In the blink of an eye he had the top of my dress pulled down and that lovely paddle back in his hand. Swat, swat, swat, swat, first one breast then the other. I grabbed onto his legs, which were positioned one on either side of my legs and let my head fall back against his shoulder. Swat, swat, swat, swat, mmmmm....have I mentioned I'm really starting to love that paddle?

I was already wet when he pulled my dress up and spread my legs wide. Swat, swat, swat, swat to the lady parts. I closed my eyes and snuggled in closer to his neck,  revelling in the feel of the leather as he moved back and forth between my breasts and my pussy. We've yet to use a blindfold, but it really isn't necessary as I usually always close my eyes when he is spanking me. I love the anticipation of the next blow and not knowing where it will connect just adds to the excitement.

I have no idea how long this went on as I was a melting further and further into a giant puddle with each blow. With my breasts and pussy sufficiently warmed up he stopped and stood me up. He propelled me forward a couple steps and bent me over the side of the bed. We have a water bed, so kneeling bent over the edge is not comfortable. I was standing, bent over, hanging on to the wood frame of the bed.

He flipped up the back of my dress and started in again with the paddle. He is getting used to the force needed with the new paddle and let me tell you, he got it just right last night. It didn't take long for my butt to become as warm as the other parts that had previously met with the paddle. But he wasn't done yet, he told me to spread my legs, he wanted to see my pussy. So, I did. That's what all obedient subs would do, right?

Swat, swat, swat to my butt, swat, swat, swat to my pussy. Oh yeah, I'm really lovin' that leather paddle. He continued on in this manner until he had worked me into quite the frenzy. When he stopped, I turned around and sunk to the floor. I wanted him. I wanted him in my mouth, now. I would have kneeled as that position is ideal for what I wanted, but I have a bum knee and don't kneel easily. I was not thinking clearly enough to retrieve my kneeling pillow, so I just sat down.

I'm a tall lady, with just a bit of a stretch I can easily reach my goal, his lovely cock. There's something about spanking followed by a blowjob that I find very comforting and fulfilling. Since Musicman always says he just wants me to be happy  he was nice enough to oblige my particular want in that moment.

I've noticed since we have started TTWD that I have become more aggressive about initiating intimate encounters. He may have initiated round one, but, a bit later, it was all me when we went for round two.

It was a lovely way to start a 3 day weekend. Now, I'm off to the grocery store to get stocked up for the weekend.  Musicman is at work and should be home around lunch, it would be nice if I had something to feed him when he gets here.

End of an Interlude

Ah, the interlude is over, Musicman has gone back to work. Maybe now he will get some rest, lol. We were lying in bed last night, completely worn out and satisfied, when I asked him what he was going to tell his co-workers when they ask him what he did with his time off.

It seems a bit inappropriate for him to say that he made a paddle for his wife. Which makes it even more inappropriate for him to say he used it multiple times on her.  He could tell them how I made a temporary suede leather cover for the paddle that we test drove Saturday night. It's divine.

He could tell them how I can't resist playing with our shiny new toys and became a bit aggressive with the bullet vibe and my hands and mouth on his beautiful cock after the spanking. Or how that was just one of many times this weekend I had him in my mouth. Proof positive the man never gets tired of getting blowjobs. Heeheehee.

He could tell them how he turned the tables on me and tortured me with that bullet vibe until I was literally whimpering for more. He just chuckled, kinda fiendishly and took his time while he took my breathe away, repeatedly.

He could tell them how our plans for Sunday Morning were rained out. But it might not be such a good idea to share that instead, he woke me with roaming hands and soon had me whimpering again with pleasure, and that was before the flogger came into play.

He could tell them how it took 73 brass tacks for me to permanently fasten the leather on the paddle. I just covered one side, the other we left the way it was. The leather side has a bit more of a thud than the wood, which has a delicious sting to it. The anticipation between swats is just as powerful of a turn on for me as the actual swat. Knowing that all he has to do is switch from side to side to change the sensation is quite enticing to me. Knowing how well he reads me, I anticipate he will use it very effectively to keep me guessing.

We opted not to put holes in this one, he assures me has plenty of wood to make another one. So, at some point we will have a paddle with holes. Now, I just need to decide on the pattern for the holes, maybe a word.

I don't know what he will tell them, but I know it won't be any of the things I mentioned above. Musicman is never inappropriate, unlike me. He did comment to me that he is having more sex then when he was 28, or 38 for that matter. He assured me that was just an observation, not a complaint. That's always nice to know, especially since I'm the one he is having the sex with, just as it was when he was 28 and 38.

Today I have been cleaning the aftermath of the 4 days of play. Picking up clothing scattered randomly, in our haste to get naked. Towels galore, utilized for the many post coital cleanups, need laundered.  Sheets with the corners that popped free in the vigorous moments of play, removed and replaced with fresh. Don'tcha just love the challenge of clean sheets? Washing and putting away the vibes and paddles and floggers scattered around the area. We keep everything on the headboard of the bed, it's a mirrored bookcase headboard. Many more implements or toys and I am going to have to think of something else. It's getting crowded up there.

While I've been cleaning, various thoughts about the weekend have floated through my mind. Looking back at the things we tried that worked really well and the things that didn't. I asked Musicman yesterday if there was anything he hadn't done this weekend that he wanted too? There was one thing, yeah, that thing I can't name yet. It didn't happen, but we are making progress with it. We talked just a bit about why it didn't happen, and where we go from here, to get there.

I have realized we both have a few goals, things we would like to see happen on the next step of our journey. They are the same goals, but, as usual, we aren't approaching them the same way. This doesn't surprise me a bit, as we never do approach solving issues the same way. The discussions we had about this have given me the seeds of some answers, but they aren't fully bloomed yet. Once they are, I will propose them to Musicman and see what he thinks.

Unfortunately, it may be a bit before I get the chance to let them bloom as I start my new job tomorrow. I will be working full time for the next two weeks at least, so that will cut into my kinky thinking time. That's okay though, I am looking forward to starting this job and think in the long run, focusing on that for a bit will be a big benefit. Once I get through the orientation/training, which I don't anticipate will be more then two weeks, I will be able to settle in to a nice part time schedule.

Then, let the blooming begin. 

So, I may not be around as much the next few weeks, but if I'm not don't worry, I will be back soon and ready to play again.

Wonderful Tonight

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The Power of a Blowjob

I read a wide variety of blogs, from vanilla to BDSM and everything in between.  I'm nosey, I like to hear about what other peoples lives are like. I check out a lot more then I read regularly. I read a lot more then I comment on. Some people are just too smart for me to have anything to add. Some peoples experiences are just so different I have no idea what to say, others are so similar I have plenty to say. The one thing that unites all the blogs I read is that I find them stimulating. They make me think. When I think I learn, when I learn I grow, when I grow I blossom.

Lately I have been stimulated to think about blowjobs. There seems to be a sad lack of them occurring for some people. So much so, that getting one is a reason for celebration. Not a bad reason to celebrate, I just think everyone should celebrate as often as possible. The world would be a much happier place if we did.

In the sub world blowjobs appear to be considered a powerful act of submission. Discussions are generated around whether to swallow and the ways to improve taste. Cumming on the face, especially when kneeling is supposed to be an ultimate act of submission. I say "supposed to be" because for me I find it it to be incredibly powerful.

I love giving blowjobs, well, to be honest, I more then love it. To begin with I find the male anatomy absolutely fascinating. I can't resist touching my husband's cock when we are laying in bed, especially in the mornings. I love to watch as I let my hands roam all over the softness of his semi flaccid cock. It never ceases to amaze me how running my hands so lightly over his balls and up that little ridge makes him just bob to life.  I could spend hours delicately tracing all the little veins up to that beautiful smooth head, circling the rim before summiting and exploring down the other side. Every little movement on my part eliciting a reaction. Almost as if it has a life of it's own growing and hardening at my touch.  I'm leading this dance and that's powerful.

Sometimes Musicman gets inpatient with my exploring and grabs my hair and pushes be down, he never has to push hard. Other times I am eager to get there on my own. I'll giggle as I tell Musicman I want to give him a kiss and slowly descend his body. I like to take my time, time to just feel him on my tongue, all the little nuances of maleness that I crave. Those veins and ridges that my hand is now so familiar with, I must taste. 

I have a bit of an oral fixation and want to explore every hard inch with my tongue and my lips to my hearts content. My hair gets caught in my hands, craddling and exploring what my mouth isn't . I let the anticipation of feeling him in my mouth build and build until heaven is achieved when I finally take him in. I always have to pause and just feel the glory that is that much power so deep in my throat. Groan!

After that initial entrance into my mouth it doesn't seem to matter who directs the show. I become obsessed with one thing and one thing only. I must have his cum.  I want to taste it, I want to wear it and I will do anything to get it.  Sometimes Musicman wants to be more aggressive and twine his hand in my hair and fuck my face. That works for me. Sometimes he wraps a hand around my throat and just sets the pace and leaves me to play a little more to my desires.  That works too. Sometimes he doesn't lay a hand on me at all, but provides an ongoing dialogue that inflames me more as I suck and lick like a starving woman.  Oooh, does that ever work.

By this point no matter what he is doing to me, it has turned into a mental wrestling match. Can I maintain the control, the focus needed to make him cum? I get a huge rush of power from his orgasm, from knowing that I can cause all that to happen.  I want that rush desperately, he likes to make me beg for it. I'll beg for it, but sometimes that is enough to push me right over the edge into oblivion myself.

I don't know if it is a sub thing. I don't know if it is the empath in me. Maybe it's just the female in me that feels the power of pleasing her man. I just know I seriously love giving blowjobs, they are to be celebrated. Let's all celebrate a little more.

Spankings & Blowjobs & Bruises....Oh My!!!

It's the end of a wonderfully lazy weekend and I'm sitting here on a nice warm backside waiting for American Idol to come on. Steven Tyler cracks me up. We spent the afternoon watching football, my favorite way to pass a winter Sunday afternoon.

Prior to the football games coming on we had a window of opportunity when our son went out with friends.
Now I freely admit, I don't get spanked for any kind of disciplinary reasons. Too much of an ick factor for me. Anything that might smack of a parent/child relationship is a huge NO for me. And for me, that is what it would feel like if Musicman were to discipline me.

We have discussed it and that is not something he is interested in either. Besides the fact that neither of us wants that, it is also not something we need in our relationship. The day to day details of our life and the way we interact with each other is something we worked out a long time ago. Yeah, all my spankings are good girl spankings and they are usually a prelude to, or part of other activities.

It has been interesting this last week as Musicman has started to feel better and get some of his strength back. I have started to realize how much of his nature he suppressed in order to protect me. When I say protect, I mean emotionally. I never really thought about how much he did that until things changed, and I know he is still being cautious with me. I am seeing subtle, yet powerful changes.

There was a time at the beginning of our relationship that I didn't want him to touch me when I was giving him a blowjob. It's not something he ever made me do. I like doing it, he just couldn't really touch me, especially my head, or it might trigger bad memories and a spazz attack on my part. The way I did it had to be on my terms, or I couldn't do it. That has slowly changed over the years. Now that I think about it, it seems comparable to someone breaking a wild horse. He's a very patient man when it comes to dealing with me.

Yet, it never crossed a line that made me feel like I wasn't in control. But now, well, now I want to feel his control, and boy howdy am I. Not only is it not triggering any kind of bad memories, yay, but I am finding it incredibly hot. The man had me begging for things that previously he would never have even asked of me. And I loved every single second of it.

In a way it makes me sad. I feel like because I was damaged it held him back. He doesn't feel that way. And he continues to surprise and delight me in the things he is doing. He also makes me laugh every time he reminds me that I promised him a more fun way to rehab then walking on a treadmill. I like his ideas of fun, lol. I did warn him that tomorrow when we go see Doc for a checkup and he asks about rehab I'm gonna bust up laughing. I think I will just keep my mouth shut and let Musicman explain, heeheehee.

On and end note, Musicman noticed today that I had a small bruise from some playtime on Friday. I'll spare you the details, but it did involve the hairbrush. I like the hairbrush and had no idea I had a bruise. When he brought it to my attention my first thought was, I hope he doesn't feel bad about it. I do bruise easily, it was a    
small bruise, and I'm amply padded back there, so I never would have known had he not told me.  He handled it appropriately, and yes he kissed my booboo. And then he spanked me again. I love my guy.