A Sub By Any Other Name...

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I've never been one to embrace labels, but I do find them necessary for the purposes of education. It's a lot easier to find something, if you know what you are looking for.  I've always been a big believer in education, both formal and informal. I never want to stop learning and growing. I never want to get to a point in my life where I can't appreciate the wonders of a new experience.

Labels are useful in communication, but can easily be used against you. Leave you open to judgement and ridicule, place limits on you. Labels can define you and the perception of that definition can change in any given situation. A label I embrace as a positive thing, someone else may judge as detrimental.

I wasn't specifically looking for submission, I was looking for a part of myself that I had lost. A feeling, an emotion, an energy, a way of being, that I wanted back. I pursued many avenues of information, but most specifically, I pursued my sexual connection with Musicman. He had been my salvation before and I felt he was now too. I've always been a very sexual woman and know that great sex can create powerful energy.

In exploring the sexual aspect of D/s, I found my emotional and mental submission. I found what I had been looking for. It had been there all the time, just simmering in the background. It also had a different label on it. Which is probably why I didn't recognize it for what it is, it's really both.

The label I know my submission by is that of empath. That's a label I've worn for a long time, a label I've become comfortable with. I know how to define it in a way that works for me. It's also why I was initially confused by the label submissive, to me all the traits and demeanor of a submissive are those of an empath.

I'm sure that doesn't apply to all empaths or submissives, I'm not talking about anyone other then myself. The same qualities about me, that I now identify as submissive, are qualities I previously accepted and acknowledged as being an empath.

This is a definition of submissive: allowing others to have control over you; 2. willing to submit to the wishes of others.

Here are some of the recognizable empathic traits, many of which I have:

1) Heightened (stronger) emotions.
2) Comprehensive understanding over a broad scope of (if not ALL) emotions.
3) Capacity for want/need of self-sacrifice - giving, basically.
4) Excellent communicatory abilities.
5) "Dreaming."
6) Pre-cognition.
7) Emotion reception


So, in effect, being submissive isn't anything new for me, being aware that I am submissive is though. I just defined it a bit differently and gave it a different label. I still don't really think of myself as a sub very often, but I've yet to find the Dom/empath category.

The Power of a Blowjob

I read a wide variety of blogs, from vanilla to BDSM and everything in between.  I'm nosey, I like to hear about what other peoples lives are like. I check out a lot more then I read regularly. I read a lot more then I comment on. Some people are just too smart for me to have anything to add. Some peoples experiences are just so different I have no idea what to say, others are so similar I have plenty to say. The one thing that unites all the blogs I read is that I find them stimulating. They make me think. When I think I learn, when I learn I grow, when I grow I blossom.

Lately I have been stimulated to think about blowjobs. There seems to be a sad lack of them occurring for some people. So much so, that getting one is a reason for celebration. Not a bad reason to celebrate, I just think everyone should celebrate as often as possible. The world would be a much happier place if we did.

In the sub world blowjobs appear to be considered a powerful act of submission. Discussions are generated around whether to swallow and the ways to improve taste. Cumming on the face, especially when kneeling is supposed to be an ultimate act of submission. I say "supposed to be" because for me I find it it to be incredibly powerful.

I love giving blowjobs, well, to be honest, I more then love it. To begin with I find the male anatomy absolutely fascinating. I can't resist touching my husband's cock when we are laying in bed, especially in the mornings. I love to watch as I let my hands roam all over the softness of his semi flaccid cock. It never ceases to amaze me how running my hands so lightly over his balls and up that little ridge makes him just bob to life.  I could spend hours delicately tracing all the little veins up to that beautiful smooth head, circling the rim before summiting and exploring down the other side. Every little movement on my part eliciting a reaction. Almost as if it has a life of it's own growing and hardening at my touch.  I'm leading this dance and that's powerful.

Sometimes Musicman gets inpatient with my exploring and grabs my hair and pushes be down, he never has to push hard. Other times I am eager to get there on my own. I'll giggle as I tell Musicman I want to give him a kiss and slowly descend his body. I like to take my time, time to just feel him on my tongue, all the little nuances of maleness that I crave. Those veins and ridges that my hand is now so familiar with, I must taste. 

I have a bit of an oral fixation and want to explore every hard inch with my tongue and my lips to my hearts content. My hair gets caught in my hands, craddling and exploring what my mouth isn't . I let the anticipation of feeling him in my mouth build and build until heaven is achieved when I finally take him in. I always have to pause and just feel the glory that is that much power so deep in my throat. Groan!

After that initial entrance into my mouth it doesn't seem to matter who directs the show. I become obsessed with one thing and one thing only. I must have his cum.  I want to taste it, I want to wear it and I will do anything to get it.  Sometimes Musicman wants to be more aggressive and twine his hand in my hair and fuck my face. That works for me. Sometimes he wraps a hand around my throat and just sets the pace and leaves me to play a little more to my desires.  That works too. Sometimes he doesn't lay a hand on me at all, but provides an ongoing dialogue that inflames me more as I suck and lick like a starving woman.  Oooh, does that ever work.

By this point no matter what he is doing to me, it has turned into a mental wrestling match. Can I maintain the control, the focus needed to make him cum? I get a huge rush of power from his orgasm, from knowing that I can cause all that to happen.  I want that rush desperately, he likes to make me beg for it. I'll beg for it, but sometimes that is enough to push me right over the edge into oblivion myself.

I don't know if it is a sub thing. I don't know if it is the empath in me. Maybe it's just the female in me that feels the power of pleasing her man. I just know I seriously love giving blowjobs, they are to be celebrated. Let's all celebrate a little more.