Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Peace Lies Within The Pain

Sometimes, there is just too much stimulation for me. Too much energy, too much input. I absorb energy like a sponge absorbs liquid. It overwhelms and engulfs, fairly drowning me in explosions of feeling.

Feelings that culminate in soul deep pain. Pain, I know not, how to escape from. My worlds collide and I succumb to the pressure. I forget who I am, where my focus lies. I'm dizzy from riding the whirlwind I call life.  I'm splintered into a thousand pieces, scattered to the violent winds.

The pain becomes unbearable. My soul weeps. I seek solace, as a starving person seeks to slake his thirst. I can no longer articulate, for understanding has long ago fled. I know only one thing, it's too much, though I can't tell you what "too much" actually means.

And in that moment, when I no longer have the strength, when I can no longer hang on. In that moment, when "too much" is overwhelming and engulfing. YOU are there.

You read me like the open book I am, for nobody, but you. You bring me, the peace, of pain. An oxymoron, I know, yet you seek not to understand, but to provide. Understanding, acceptance even, may come with time. But that is not your goal, your goal is to provide.

You are my Dominant, and yet, in the darkest of times, you stand before me and say, " I would make it better if I knew how." We both know, there is no "making it better", somethings are just to be survived.

Survive we will, painful as that may be, and in the mean time, I will seek respite in the pain. I thank you for that respite and for knowing that peace lies within the pain.

19 comments:

  1. Faerie, I hate to hear that you're going through so much pain. Your words are so poetic -- keep writing. And I'm really glad that Musicman can bring you some sort of peace through all the pain.

    (((((hugs)))))

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    1. Thanks Riley, sometimes life is painful, it's comforting knowing I don't have to face those times alone :)

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  2. Faerie, I'm sorry that you are in such pain. I wish that I could sit beside you and simply hold your hand. I'm glad that Musicman holds the key to peace for your heart.

    (((hugs)))

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    1. Aww June, it would be nice to be have you sit with me and hold my hand, maybe someday we will get to do that :)

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  3. This is so poignant...and beautifully written. Hugs...may you find a quiet peace soon..
    hugs abby

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    1. Thanks abby, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  4. Ah Faerie,

    "Sometimes, there is just too much stimulation for me. Too much energy, too much input. I absorb energy like a sponge absorbs liquid. It overwhelms and engulfs, fairly drowning me in explosions of feeling."

    Yes.
    It isn't always easy for us empath-types.
    Huge hugs!

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    1. You are so right, sometimes being an empath really sucks, makes me wish I could just turn it off. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

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  5. Beautifully written. Hoping the pain lessens and peace comes soon.
    (((Hugs)))

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    1. Thanks Sarah, sometimes there is inspiration in the pain.

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  6. I hope you find your peace. Many hugs

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    1. Some day I will find peace, I just wonder at what price it will be.

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  7. Oh faerie, for all its pain, this is a beautiful post.

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    1. Thanks lil, sometimes good things can be found in the pain.

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you joey, for the lovely compliment and the hug :)

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