Sometimes, there is just too much stimulation for me. Too much energy, too much input. I absorb energy like a sponge absorbs liquid. It overwhelms and engulfs, fairly drowning me in explosions of feeling.
Feelings that culminate in soul deep pain. Pain, I know not, how to escape from. My worlds collide and I succumb to the pressure. I forget who I am, where my focus lies. I'm dizzy from riding the whirlwind I call life. I'm splintered into a thousand pieces, scattered to the violent winds.
The pain becomes unbearable. My soul weeps. I seek solace, as a starving person seeks to slake his thirst. I can no longer articulate, for understanding has long ago fled. I know only one thing, it's too much, though I can't tell you what "too much" actually means.
And in that moment, when I no longer have the strength, when I can no longer hang on. In that moment, when "too much" is overwhelming and engulfing. YOU are there.
You read me like the open book I am, for nobody, but you. You bring me, the peace, of pain. An oxymoron, I know, yet you seek not to understand, but to provide. Understanding, acceptance even, may come with time. But that is not your goal, your goal is to provide.
You are my Dominant, and yet, in the darkest of times, you stand before me and say, " I would make it better if I knew how." We both know, there is no "making it better", somethings are just to be survived.
Survive we will, painful as that may be, and in the mean time, I will seek respite in the pain. I thank you for that respite and for knowing that peace lies within the pain.