January Thaws

The last several weeks have brought sub freezing temps and snow to my armpits. I'm not a snow bunny, I live for barefoot days spent in the sun. We're experiencing a January thaw, it's common and happens almost every year. Being that I dislike snowy, cold weather, you might think I'd look forward to these yearly thaws. I don't.

Bad things happen during January thaws, painful things, that have altered our lives. Things we don't want to remember, because it's a reality we still long to deny. January thaws bring the cracking of ice and the destruction of our lives as we know it. We're forced to accept a new normal, in order to survive. They bring anniversaries of things it seems wrong to celebrate, yet must be remembered, it's all we have left.

January thaws bring harsh lessons, of life, love and loss. Lessons that we can not conceive of, until they are staring us in the face. Lessons that affect the path we walk upon and the decisions we make going forward. Lessons, forged in steel, that have attempted to shake us to our foundations and beyond. Lessons that make us re-evaluate who we are and what we want from this journey we're on.

This January thaw knocked out our internet for a couple days, a very minor thing compared with some years. As I cleaned and baked my way through the last few days, I've inevitably thought about the things that January thaws bring.

I've thought about the lessons circumstances have forced me to learn.  I've learned, things can always get worse and it's never a good idea to tempt fate by forgetting that. I've learned, that time will heal broken hearts and shattered dreams, as long as I'm vigilant and don't let the pain consume me first. I've learned, there's no shame in bending beneath a burden, it's better to bend, then to break.

The most important thing I've learned from January thaws and the things they bring, I don't ever face them alone. I've learned that when I'm bent and near to breaking, he's here. He's ready to reach beyond his own pain, to pick me up and carry me if need be, until I'm strong enough to walk beside him again. I've learned, I'm an extremely lucky woman, and that should be celebrated everyday.