Thursday, January 10, 2013

January Thaws


The last several weeks have brought sub freezing temps and snow to my armpits. I'm not a snow bunny, I live for barefoot days spent in the sun. We're experiencing a January thaw, it's common and happens almost every year. Being that I dislike snowy, cold weather, you might think I'd look forward to these yearly thaws. I don't.

Bad things happen during January thaws, painful things, that have altered our lives. Things we don't want to remember, because it's a reality we still long to deny. January thaws bring the cracking of ice and the destruction of our lives as we know it. We're forced to accept a new normal, in order to survive. They bring anniversaries of things it seems wrong to celebrate, yet must be remembered, it's all we have left.

January thaws bring harsh lessons, of life, love and loss. Lessons that we can not conceive of, until they are staring us in the face. Lessons that affect the path we walk upon and the decisions we make going forward. Lessons, forged in steel, that have attempted to shake us to our foundations and beyond. Lessons that make us re-evaluate who we are and what we want from this journey we're on.

This January thaw knocked out our internet for a couple days, a very minor thing compared with some years. As I cleaned and baked my way through the last few days, I've inevitably thought about the things that January thaws bring.

I've thought about the lessons circumstances have forced me to learn.  I've learned, things can always get worse and it's never a good idea to tempt fate by forgetting that. I've learned, that time will heal broken hearts and shattered dreams, as long as I'm vigilant and don't let the pain consume me first. I've learned, there's no shame in bending beneath a burden, it's better to bend, then to break.

The most important thing I've learned from January thaws and the things they bring, I don't ever face them alone. I've learned that when I'm bent and near to breaking, he's here. He's ready to reach beyond his own pain, to pick me up and carry me if need be, until I'm strong enough to walk beside him again. I've learned, I'm an extremely lucky woman, and that should be celebrated everyday.



14 comments:

  1. Everybody in blogland wants me to cry today...

    The pain is not good...but those thoughts and that connection...that's the ultimate good... an absolute good... the thing we all search for, and bleed for... and that a lucky few of us find.

    Blessings, peace and joy, my faerie friend, to you and your Musicman.
    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww June...sorry if I made you cry. I try to stay positive, but somedays that's harder to do then others. So, it's good to remind myself that I am one of the lucky few :)

      Delete
  2. Oh faerie how I wish I could give you a hug...an actual hug. My heart breaks as I read.

    I wish you comfort and peace. I wish you an early spring and continued healing. I am glad that you have each other. Bend but don't break.

    (((((HHHHHUUUUUGGGGGSSSSS)))))
    fiona

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks fiona, I'm bending as far as I can :)

      Delete
  3. I hope the worse thing the thaw brings you is the short lapse in the internet service. I'm just glad you are not alone and that a real spring is coming soon.

    Hugs,
    PK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so to PK, though it's not proving to be that way. This is where I remind myself it can always be worse :)

      Delete
  4. hugs..the two of you can weather any weather....I wish all of us an early spring...and a peace a calmness for you.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks abby, and we can weather any weather, it just gets tiring sometimes. I'll add my wish for that early spring to yours :)

      Delete
  5. (((Hugs))) to you! I sometimes feel that a certain amount of crap is worth going through as it serves to remind me that I have H who cares enough to stay with me all through it. It sounds like 'He' does that for you xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Autumn, a certain amount of crap is to be expected, and even beneficial, but I'm about at my limit these days. No matter what comes, he and I will face it together and be stronger for it :)

      Delete