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Neither my co-workers nor my customers seem to be bothered that I call them sweetie or honey or whatever pops out at the moment. That's not the odd thing. The odd thing is, apparently I needed to warn them that I don't respond to my own name. It has happened a couple times now, someone has called my name and I heard it, but it didn't register that they were talking to me.
Musicman never really uses my real name. He most often calls me babe, or honey or even woman. I respond to all of them. Of course my kids call me Mom. The first time I didn't respond I brushed it off as just me not paying attention. When it happened a few more times I really started to think about it.
It seems that I have so fully embraced this submissive side of myself that I no longer think of myself as me. If they had called me faerie, I would have answered immediately. That seems a bit odd to me.
At first I questioned how I could miss being so submissive for all these years. Then I accepted it as a natural progression for me. I'm not sure when I really started thinking of myself as faerie instead of as my real name. It does seem that I have though.
I originally picked the name faerie because it was obvious for me. I love faeries and have them all over my home. I also have faeries in several of my tatoo's. I have just always identified strongly with them. They are magical mischievious little things. It was just a very natural fit for me.
Maybe that back pain isn't from work, maybe it's my wings sprouting. Or maybe I am just crazy.
Wow, that's interesting.
ReplyDeleteI picked my name... because it was easy, and similar enough to my real one. I have no actual identity with it. I just wanted an identity in a hurry and I couldn't use any of the ones I'd used before... if someone started calling me that, I'd probably balk. :)
I never had a doubt when I first started thinking about blogging that my name would be faerie. Musicman sometimes calls me faerie now, and I respond to it just like I do everything else he calls me.
DeleteI know about having different identities. My friends in real life call me by my name. Nick usual calls me Honey. Of course at work I'm Mrs. _____ I can answer to anything, but PK is who I feel I am. It's not so much submissive for me, but rather being my true self with nothing hidden. That's why I hate being away from blogging for long periods of time - I stop feeling like 'me'.
ReplyDeleteHope it's not a real problem at work.
Hugs,
PK
I know what you mean about not liking to be away from blogging for too long. I am able to be myself here and I like that a lot.
DeleteSince my real first name is very common I'm rarely the only one with it at a job, so I have always had to use my last initial or something like that so everyone could differentiate between me and the rest of them. Right now I am the only one with that name, but now it feels odd to hear it. I'm sure I will get used to it eventually.
My name was picked for me by H. It fits the girly side that he wants me to be, but it is not always me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it is common enough in sex land to ensure we remain anonymous as needed. Although it can be confusing too.
When he uses it, and he does from time to time, I don't like it, but I sometimes catch myself right before I refer to HIM as H in real life. So, there is something to what you are saying.
Sexuality is a big part of who we are, and when you embrace the sexual (submissive) you, you are embracing the real you. So maybe that's part of it?
Since reading The Hunger Games, I have been kind of taken with the name Katniss.
Musicman sometimes calls me faerie now too. That may be one of the reasons I now think of myself by that name. It really does represent the "real" me. I like the name Katniss, maybe you should be Kitty Katniss, lol. Has a catchy ring to it dontcha think? :D
DeleteThat's really interesting that you've so taken on this role that you don't identify as much with your real name. I wonder at what point that started happening. (I know you just noticed now because you're around others, working all day, but how much earlier the same would have happened). I still turn around to my real name (because Cael has made many nicknames of it), but I'm horrified for the day I sign an email as "Riley." I know it's going to happen, I've already nearly slipped. He calls me Riley too sometimes. I can't decide if I'm two different people or if the two people are just so closely overlapping that they're one. Hm, I'm rather interested in this whole name thing now. Neat post.
ReplyDeleteI don't know when it started happening, but I have almost slipped a few times and called Musicman by Musicman in public a couple times. For me I think faerie represents the "real" me. Not the employee, not the mom, but me. Better start working on a good reason why you are signing someone else's name to your emails, lol.
DeleteMh, this would be a bad time to mention Julia really is my real name, wouldn't it be? Also kind of too late to change it. Mhhhh
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine time to tell us your real name is Julia. It's a beautiful name and no need to change it :)
DeleteInteresting. SM calls me 'my man'. She does it so often that my daughter called me 'my man'and not 'dad' for about a year.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post not long ago any why I chose yay blog name and pseudonym.
TTFN
Mr. No name
Cute story about your daughter! When my daughter was little my in laws cared for her while I worked. She heard them use my name so often that for many years instead of calling me mom or mama she added my first name and called me Mama______. The family thought it was so cute they all started calling me that. I had forgotten about that, thanks for reminding me :)
DeleteI hope it's your wings!!
ReplyDeleteYou named yourself after something you love...but what it has come to represent to you is a perfect fit as well. No wonder you identify with it so much!
I hope so too, though it will make wearing shirts difficult, lol.
DeleteI do love faerie and I never considered anything else when choosing a blogging name. Musicman even uses it sometimes now :)
That is really interesting! I wonder how this will change as you spend more time in "the world."
ReplyDeleteYeah I wonder too. I kinda like thinking of myself as faerie. She really is the real me, and I don't want to suppress her any more.
DeleteEver since I was young, people have called me Blondie and they always seem to want to tell me blonde jokes. But I still haven't been too attached to the name - it was just easy. I am usually called mom or someone's mom. B usually always calls me by my name, not nick names. I wonder what your co-workers would think if you told them to call you Faerie.
ReplyDeleteI have a very common first name and have always had all kinds of different nicknames. I seem to inspire it in people, lol. I once worked with a guy who called me "littlebit," he had a sister with the same name as mine and that's what he called her too.
DeleteI almost said to a co-worker, that my friends call me faerie, but I'm don't think I want to share faerie with them. Because of the fact that I have to wear a uniform with a hairnet and hat I don't look anything like my real self at work, so it is easy to separate the two. It also makes it easy to revert back to being faerie when I get home. I change clothes and let my hair down and I'm back to being faerie.
Isnt it amazing what we learn about ourselves hugs
ReplyDeleteYes, blogging has really helped me learn tons about myself. Things I had never even thought about before :)
DeleteThat is interesting, and I love how you chose your submissive name.
ReplyDeleteMy husband rarely calls me by my real name, he calls me Angel. I think it's mostly wishful thinking.
When we were engaged one day I fell asleep in the car beside him. He told me later it felt like he was driving home a sleeping angel, that's what I looked like to him. It stuck I guess.
Thanks Stormy, it really was a no brainer to pick faerie as my name. I am borderline obsessed with them, lol.
DeleteMusicman never uses my name either, but I don't think angel appears anywhere in the lineup of what he does call me. That would just be too much of a stretch, lol. Thanks for sharing why your hubby calls you angel, it's very sweet :)
Very few people call me by my real name too. Often it's girl, babe, or a nickname that's a contraction of my name. I have 2 other nicknames that friends in different circles use. BIKSS has a nickname for me too. I think in the decades I've known him he's only used my name 2 or 3 times. I sometimes feel funny introducing myself with my name cos it sounds strange even to me. Especially when I'M saying it.
ReplyDeleteI have always had lots of different nicknames, probably because my real name is very common. I am rarely the only one, which was helpful when I was in school. If I got called on I knew all I had to do was wait a second and one of the others would answer, lol.
DeleteMusicman never uses my real name either, but he has started calling me faerie sometimes, It always makes me smile :D
It is so interesting that you don't feel much connection to your real name. I bet as you work more it will feel more natural.
ReplyDeleteAnd I too hope it is the wings!
I never liked my name when I was growing up. Musicman taught me to love my name. It is a very common name for my generation, that lends to the need for nicknames. I've had tons of those over the years, lol. It usually depends on who I am with as to what name I answer to.
DeleteAs usual such a great post. And the comments! I'm fairly new to this but pretty sure I'm not supposed to highjack your comments commenting on the commenters but sometimes I want to, you know? Everybody said it in their own unique way. And the phone won't let me go back and look so I'm trying to remember. PK said it, Kitty knocked it out of the park saying that when you embrace this deepest part of yourself, that's going to be your name. Riley thinking the day will come when an email is signed "Riley" :):) and sweet Julia. My real nickname is Emen. It's an old family nickname, most people call me that, and mostly vanilla. So much for terminally stupid choices online. :)
ReplyDeleteBut the first time I felt compelled to comment I never even thought about it. I joined this beautiful world as Emen because that's who I am and I have never felt more who I am than I do here.
Always so interesting to read here.
Emen Neme, lol, your name makes me dizzy :D
DeleteThat's a good thing, sometimes dizzy is a lot of fun!
Feel free to highjack the comments anytime you want. I love the conversations and often find myself doing the same thing on others blogs.
Thanks for sharing how you picked your name, and thank you for being a part of this beautiful world :D I have never felt more of who I am than I do here, either. Quite beautifully said.
I think it's kinda cool how you feel about your names, ALL of them lol. My name and Mitch's names are nicknames that some in the 'real' world use for us. Mitch hasn't ever used my nickname to address me but Mitch is often on the tip of my tongue (so to speak :) when I speak of him to others even though I don't call him by his nickname....... confused yet? Hehe
ReplyDeleteDee x
I totally get that!!!! I do the same thing, I ALMOST say Musicman. So far I have caught myself just short of actually calling him that. I know, one of these days, it's gonna happen...LOL.
DeleteI love this post, faerie. The comments were really interesting, too. I'm always wondering how bloggers choose their names.
ReplyDeleteMy husband rarely calls me by my name, too. If he does, I know I'm in trouble. Lol.
Kiki
I'm so happy so many shared how they picked there names too. It really was just an odd occurence for me, so I wrote about it.
DeleteI have also always wondered how others picked there names. I'm happy that this post opened that conversation some :D
How funny! I bet you'll get used to hearing and responding to your actual name again over time.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I probably will. I'm not sure I want too though, lol.
DeleteI wasn't really married to my name. Daddy and I had a conversation about what to name the blog & I joked, because we are basically a 50s style household that we were like Ward & June dishing dirt, and that's how we got the name. But then MonstrsNightmare started calling me Juniebug & that kinda stuck & made it more personal. No I do answer to that.
ReplyDelete*now I do - sighs -
DeleteJuniebug is an adorable name, I admit to being tempted to call you that too :D
DeleteI have always identified heavily with faeries, not sure why, but I just love them.
I am late to this party...but how neat! I think identifying with faeries is sweet. I get called Russian princess a lot as a pick-up line. *withering look*
ReplyDeleteMy r/l name is a bit hard for people to pronounce, so actually I don't respond to that much, either. I wonder if you could use that excuse. :)
My r/l name is very common and very easy to say so that wouldn't work. I think they are starting to think that I just don't hear them, I go with that, lol.
ReplyDeleteI answer to different names from different people...I like your name of Fairie - it suits your positive enery and is what led me to your site... :-)
ReplyDeleteoops typo...that was "energy"
ReplyDelete