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Showing posts with label real name vs submissive name. Show all posts
Showing posts with label real name vs submissive name. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hmmm...Somethin' Odd is Going On

Something odd is going on. I am meeting a lot of new people at work, new faces and new names. I don't even try to remember them all. I just warn everybody that I am a honey, baby, sweetie, darlin, kinda girl. I rarely use anyones name. It's just a habit I have always had. It makes my teenage sons friends blush and giggle when I do it.

Neither my co-workers nor my customers seem to be bothered that I call them sweetie or honey or whatever pops out at the moment. That's not the odd thing. The odd thing is, apparently I needed to warn them that I don't respond to my own name. It has happened a couple times now, someone has called my name and I heard it, but it didn't register that they were talking to me.

Musicman never really uses my real name. He most often calls me babe, or honey or even woman. I respond to all of them. Of course my kids call me Mom. The first time I didn't respond I brushed it off as just me not paying attention. When it happened a few more times I really started to think about it.

It seems that I have so fully embraced this submissive side of myself that I no longer think of myself as me. If they had called me faerie, I would have answered immediately. That seems a bit odd to me.

At first I questioned how I could miss being so submissive for all these years. Then I accepted it as a natural progression for me. I'm not sure when I really started thinking of myself as faerie instead of as my real name.  It does seem that I have though.

I originally picked the name faerie because it was obvious for me. I love faeries and have them all over my home. I also have faeries in several of my tatoo's. I have just always identified strongly with them. They are magical mischievious little things. It was just a very natural fit for me.

I never in a million years would have thought that I would at some point identify that name as me. I guess that is a measure of how natural this feels for me.




Maybe that back pain isn't from work, maybe it's my wings sprouting. Or maybe I am just crazy.