Emotional Collisions

Musicman is an emotionally reserved man. He has a "don't fuck with me" attitude that he wears like a dark cloak.  He is always on guard, scanning his surroundings, a predator protecting his territory. The natural resting position of his hands is a fist. You would have more success getting blood from an armadillo then you would getting him to show emotion.

I have seen him dominate an entire room just by entering it. Babies cry, small children hide and everyone else steers clear of him. Some people mistake his countenance for a lack of emotion. Some are stupid enough to attempt to evoke a reaction from him. Big mistake, it's much like watching someone pick up a stick and poke a bear. Both scenarios end the same predictable way, they pull back a bloody stump.

There are a few exceptions to his reserve, three to be exact. The first is blood relatives, the man will walk through fire for a family member. The second is his close circle of friends, men who he has known since his childhood and for all intents and purposes are family to him. The third is a very small category, a category of one, me.

It took me awhile when we first met to understand the way other people perceived him. It often surprised me the way people reacted, the comments they would make. My friends and family have said many times that he scares them. They would tell me they didn't understand how I could be with him.  Some family members even worried that he was abusive towards me. Once I stopped laughing I quickly corrected that notion. He's simply not capable of hurting a woman, any woman, especially me.

The truth of the matter is he has very intense emotions. He also has incredible control of those emotions and is very selective about who he chooses to display them to.  He never really stood a chance of concealing his emotions from me.  From the very first time we were together I could feel the connection to him, to his energy. It was much like a circuit breaker being turned on, the circle completed. It is a self substantiating circle that just increases in strength the longer we are together.

I think the fact that I can physically feel his emotions and energy has a lot to do with the fact that I am multi orgasmic. Not only does my body react physically to whatever stimulus he is providing but it also registers his pleasure in a physical way that heightens everything exponentially for me. It pushes mediocrity right out of the picture. If he isn't fully engaged and enjoying the encounter I will feel it in a physical way.

It feels like a fist to the gut, then it snaps and shoots energy throughout my body. It registers in my mind as a complete void of emotion, a black hole that sucks me in. It can be very confusing because my body will continue to register the physical pleasure he is giving me, the orgasms continue to flow. At the same time my reaction to what I feel coming from him is devastating me emotionally and I cry. I can always clearly differentiate which feelings are mine and which are his, but I can't control it.

Incidences like this are very rare, occurring only during times of extreme exhaustion and stress. We have been dealing with some serious health issues that have caused extreme stress for the last 3 1/2 months. His return to work 1 1/2 months ago have caused severe exhaustion for him most of the time. Recently we have experienced 2 incidents like I described above.

Sometimes being an empath is awesome, energizing and invigorating. Sometimes it's devastating, destructive and draining. It's always a part of who I am.