Monday, February 18, 2013

For Him

I'm a goal oriented girl. I set long term goals, then I set short term goals designed to achieve the long term goals. When changes happen, or it becomes obvious that the short term goals aren't working, I reassess and set new goals.

I was so close to achieving some long term goals recently that when the changes started occurring, I fought them. It was right there, all I had to do was grab the brass ring. But, no matter how high or how fast I grabbed, it slipped away.

I wasted precious time and energy chasing it, but it's gone. It took something drastic happening for me to accept that it was gone. A loss we didn't see coming, hit us squarely in the face. It's very sad, but it helped me see that I needed to stop chasing some things.

Instead, all I can do is embrace everything that's going on. I need to reassess and set new goals for myself. I'm finding that difficult to do. There is so much serious illness and loss surrounding us that I'm having a hard time finding some things important right now.

Musicman has been very attentive, keeping me close, keeping me focused. Giving me the pain I need to escape, if only for awhile. Comforting me when that is what I've needed. He understands that I've been struggling to accept things I don't want to accept.

I don't know how this is all going to workout, but I'm learning to accept that, even when it's scary. I'll do it for him, cause right now, hes the only thing in my life I still find important. I want to be strong for him and it's time I give that all my effort.



16 comments:

  1. Nice to hear you want to be strong for him and give that all your effort.

    FD

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    1. There are times in all our lives when we have to do things we don't want to in order to survive. First and foremost, I'm a survivor.

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  2. Being strong for him give him strength to be strong for you. Sending as many positive thoughts as I can your way.
    hugs abby

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    1. Thank you abby, the support is appreciated :)

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  3. oh, I am so sorry. I know how difficult giving up on a goal may feel like, along with everything else. It's good that you have Musicman.

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    1. Welcome Senator, it is good I have Musicman :)

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  4. Sorry that things are hard right now. Lean on Musicman and keep your head up.

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  5. You are ding the right thing. You're finding the positive thing and focusing on that. Negativity just breeds negativity. Thinking of you always.

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    1. It's been difficult to find anything positive with everything going on, but I am trying :)

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  6. Its been a rough time for you lately its understandable that you may be disjointed, how about trying to leave setting goals (easier said than done coz im a goal setting person lol) and letting things flow as they happen naturally.

    I find sometimes when i set myself a goal and its not attained i get all uptight about it and really its not that big of a deal and i lose sight of whats important.

    You are a strong person that comes through on your blog.

    x

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    1. Thanks tori, I'm not feeling all that strong right now. I guess that is to be expected when you let go of a life long goal.

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  7. I hope things get better. I will keep sending positive thoughts your way!

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    1. Thank you Minelle, I hope things are going well with you also :)

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