Wednesday, September 19, 2012
A Subtle Dom
There are two types of leaders, those that lead and those that people want to follow.
I've heard this before, though most recently on this post by Kitty, on The Submissive Wife blogspot. Musicman is definitely the type of leader that people want to follow. I have no problems with this, as I'm pretty much the type that willingly follows when it comes to my interactions with him. It has occurred to me that he is a very subtle leader. It's more about who he is then what he does.
Sometimes though, he can be a bit too subtle. A prime example would have been last evening. We had some lovely playtime with the brush. We hadn't played with the brush in a while and it was a lot of fun. This encounter brings our count for the master bedroom up to 7.
I mentioned that to him afterwards along with the fact that we would be almost done with the September Spanking Challenge if we had done even half of these encounters in other rooms. He said I should have reminded him before hand and we could have done it in another room.
Okay, I get that I am usually the more adventurous one of us. I also get that I have a lot more time to think about this stuff. I get that even though he enjoys this lifestyle, it is essentially my thing. I'm the one that writes the blog, I'm the one that reads the blogs, I'm the one that buys the toys. It is, in effect, my hobby, he's just going along for the ride.
I don't have any real problems with that. I don't even have any problems with reminding him about the challenge or suggesting that we try a different location. I'm probably the most aggressive sub going and I have no problems with that. That's just the way I am and neither of us wants that to change.
But, it is kinda key that I have some idea what is going to occur if I am going to contribute. When we went upstairs to bed I had no idea he was planning on playing. All he said was, "I'm going upstairs, are you coming?" This is a usual exchange for us and I didn't think anything of it. I had no idea we were going to play until he had the brush in his hand.
At that point, it's a little late to ask me to think of details such as crossing off rooms on a list for a challenge, or much of anything else for that matter. When implements get picked up by him, focus and intelligent thought leave the room for me.
In conversation afterwards it became apparent that when he said he was going upstairs, I was supposed to have heard something different. I was supposed to have heard, "I want to spank you, play with you and satisfy us both." Ummm...yeah, if I had heard that I might have thought to suggest marking off another room. Or, I might have run for the stairs in glee, probably knocking him out of the way in the process.
So, maybe he's a little too subtle sometimes, and maybe I need to learn to read his mind better. Maybe we aren't going to get all our rooms marked off by the end of the month to satisfy the challenge. I don't know, but I do know, we're having all kinds of fun figuring it out.