Sunday, September 9, 2012

Meltdown in the Making

Musicman often tells me I portray him as perfect when I write about him here. Let me assure you he is not perfect. In case any of you thought he was, I doubt you will after reading this post. It's gonna be a rant and most likely unpleasant, so feel free to skip it. I won't be offended in the slightest.

Musicman woke up yesterday in a pissy ass mood. Yes, when I'm annoyed my language degenerates to that of a long shore man. You've been warned. We left the house early to do errands, he complained incessantly about every perceived minuscule inconvenience. Other then that though, he had nothing to say to me. He gets like this sometimes and I do my best to help him get through it. When that fails, I ignore it. But all that negativity he spews does a number on me, I just can't handle it.

When we got home I started cleaning and cooking. I even baked brownies for him in an effort cheer him up. He took a 4 hour nap. I used to resent the fact that he required so much more sleep then me, cause that takes up time we could be doing something together. I learned along time ago though, that letting him sleep is the best thing. Sometimes he wakes up in a better mood, that's what I was hoping for this time. No such luck.

He continued to say nothing to me or even notice I was in the room, unless, he felt the need to complain about something. I wouldn't mind his complaining so much if he actually had something to complain about. He didn't, he just complained about every trivial little thing. Complained just to hear himself complain I think.

By 10 last night I had reached my breaking point with it all. However, since I had already been trying all day long to push him out of this mood, I just gave up. We sat in silence, except for his occasional complaining until midnight. That's when I went to bed, alone. I'm not used to going to bed alone and I slept very badly, waking often and having nightmares when I did sleep.

Needless to say, that doesn't make for a pleasant faerie today. He seemed surprised today when he got up and I was not my usual pleasant self, happy to see him. When he questioned me about it, I told him how he acted yesterday and how it affected me. He apologized, but apparently I wasn't ready to hear it. I busied myself with more housework and laundry.

Things might have gone better and I might have been able to work the mad out of my system except, my washer broke. Now, I'm seriously stressed.  I have a full week of work ahead of me and no clean uniforms to wear. I asked Musicman to look at it and he made one comment, just one. That comment was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I yelled, I screamed, I stomped around the house and generally acted like a 2 year old having a tantrum. I loaded up the laundry and left to go to the laundromat. Unfortunately, just a few blocks from the house I realized I had forgotten the detergent and fabric softener, back home I went. More stomping and foulness ensued. When I'm on a tear, any smart person will get out of my way. Musicman may not be perfect, but he's plenty smart, he got out of my way.

The angrier I get, the more he backs off and leaves me be. The more he backs off and leaves me be the angrier I get. I'm really not sure what it is I want him to do. I sure wouldn't mess with me when I am like this. Which, just for the record is pretty rare for me. But, I have realized I want him to do something, anything, but what he does do, which is nothing.

So after a crappy week last week, we started out the weekend good, but it didn't last. It's been a pretty crappy weekend too. I have another long week of work next week, which starts with funeral services to attend tomorrow night after work. Oh joy, just what I want to do.

At this point, nothing has been resolved between us and silence reigns supreme here in the faerie/Musicman household. If you have read this far I apologize for being such a debbie downer, but it is helping me calm some to get it out. Maybe we will be able to fix the situation before it carries over into next week.

49 comments:

  1. Sometimes is is good to let it out.

    Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah I agree with joey, its good to let it out. We all have our moods and things we do that we know we shouldn't. I can pretty much relate to this whole post. DH can get very pissy, go in a different place, won't see me, won't interact. I can't stand it when he naps that long, but yeah it happens, and usually that helps. And when I finally am at my ropes end, and yell at him, I want him to take me in hand, and anchor me down again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This has been an issue for us always. We both work on it and it has gotten much better then it was years ago. It happens on occasion and probably always will. It did help some to write about it :)

      Delete
  3. The part about you portraying him as perfect made me laugh. I never assume that is the case with anyone. We all have our things. A lonely night alone is the problem for sure. I think that is a breaking point for me too.

    I am glad you have a place to go to rant a bit and happy to hear it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those words make me laugh every time he says them. Believe me when I say, I know I'm not perfect and I know he's not perfect. I don't expect it either.

      It is kinda nice sometimes to know other people are fallible isn't it? It's also nice to have friends to share the struggle with :)

      Delete
  4. Oh dear! I wouldn't apologise for ranting. This is the place to come. I must say, I think you kept a suburb hold on your patience up until that breaking point. Not sure I'd have been able to. ((hugs from me))

    Dee x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had lots of years of practice, this is a bit of a pattern for us. It's gotten much better over the years, but it does still happen. Such is life. It really did help having a place to get it out and support from friends. Thanks :)

      Delete
  5. First.... (((((((((((((Faerie)))))))))))))) hugs to you!!

    And you can rant here anytime:) I know I feel much better when I get it out! I hope that you now are feeling better!

    Belle:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am feeling better, the hugs helped tons :)

      Delete
  6. lol, actually you know i always think its refreshing to read posts that say it as it is because no one is perfect and so it stands that no relationship is perfect.

    I have had my fair share of rants about the bossman, i still think he is absolutley wanderful but he winds me up sometimes so you rant away.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe that too. There are no perfect people, so therefore, no perfect relationships. I do say it pretty much like it is, both here and in RL. That can get me in trouble in RL sometimes, lol. TBH, it surprises me everytime Musicman says that to me. I usually tell him that most of the time he is perfect for me.

      Delete
  7. Rant away- I think its good for the soul as well as the mind. We have all had weekends or days like you described- its part of life. Hang in there, talk through it and move forward.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I know you're right. Thanks for listening, it did help :)

      Delete
  8. I do it all the time and I usually do feel a little better afterwards. But mostly it just gradually fades away and I realize I'm not feeling mad anymore. I personally like knowing that both you and musician can be in foul moods. I hate dealing with perfect people.

    Hugs,
    PK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You of all people should know I'm not perfect, lol. Don't even want to be ;D For me it's more about not spreading negativity, Karma can be a serious bitch.

      Delete
  9. Often, I have such a great amount of patience, UNTIL I absorb every bit of their mood. It is as if some transference occurs. Then I am absolutely crazy insane. I absolutely get it. Hope all gets better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that's exactly what happens to me. I absorb all the negativity like a sponge, until I explode. Then look out, cause everyones getting splattered with the fallout. Things are better :)

      Delete
  10. Oh honey I know what you are saying here. I so feel you on this. I don't often get this way but yes it's the same thing. You want them to do SOMETHING. Anything to help. Sadly, the few times that MDK did attempt a spanking in the middle of one of my bad tantrums it ended badly with us getting so worked up in a frenzy and angry that it would have been better to just let it be. No one is perfect. I do hope that things go better for you this week. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I honestly don't know what would happen if he tried to spank then, but the possibility of it not going well is very real. But, I also have no better ideas for what he should do either. Doing nothing doesn't work well, so maybe it would help. I just don't know.

      Delete
  11. Oh dear. Bad moods are contagious. Quick, somebody get faerie some chocolate and a spanking!

    ((hugs)) Rant away anytime, dear. I'll read it every time.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can I have the chocolate during the spanking? LOL :) Thanks for the support, I'm doing better, even though I had a wretched day.

      Delete
    2. You can only have the chocolate during the spanking if you can keep the wiggling to a minimum. We don't need you making a mess of things, now do we?

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      Delete
  12. Rant on dear friend...we all have our ups and our downs nad our moods. Take the week one day at a time...and be good to yourself!
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, one day at a time. That may become my mantra this week based on how today went. But it is almost over and I can start over again tomorrow :)

      Delete
  13. I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time. I did however like the Debbie Downer reference. I hope things get better soon! Although I will probably get sick from not disinfecting my phone after my kids played with it. Wah wah wahhhhhh.... (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks lilmisses, you made me giggle :) Now go disinfect that phone, lol.

      Delete
  14. Oh honey, just rant away. I always feel so much better afterward, hope it's worked for you. Be good to you.

    Sorry about the coming week and the funeral tomorrow. Maybe that's why MM had a bad day saturday. He's usually so in tune to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he usually is, and I did my best to take circumstance into account. He just flat wore me down and overwhelmed me with all the negativity. The fact that it poured rain all day long didn't help either. It's been a long day, but things are getting better :)

      Delete
  15. You should feel free to rant, sometimes it's just necessary and feels somewhat therapeutic as well. I'm sorry to hear your weekend didn't go so well and it sounds like this upcoming week will be challenging. (((((hugs)))) I hope it all goes better than expected.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely needed some kind of therapy, lol. After absorbing all the negativity he spewed, I guess I needed somewhere to put it myself. It's nice to have a safe place place to do that :)

      Delete
  16. Man - what a crappy end to a crappy week. You know, my Sir will get quiet when I want him to fight for me to fight to get through to fix things...I think his quietness often equates to disinterest or not caring enough to . Now after MANY years together, I know in my mind that it isn't the case, but in the heat of the moment - I can't see that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn'ta said it better myself. That's really it in a nutshell :) Thanks for the lovely comment.

      Delete
  17. Rant away! It's better to let it out and a little foot stomping is cathartic after a crappy week. Sounds like Musicman had a "little bitch" day. That is what my husband calls them when he is like that. I can never let it go that quickly either which makes him crazy. Eat some pricey chocolate. It has no calories or fat in it after a bad day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know that about the chocolate, lol. I had soe today as amtter of fact :) I like the term "little bitch day". I may have to use that next time.

      Delete
  18. Oh sugar - big hug. I'm so sorry your weekend sucked. Don't beat yourself up over your bad attitude and forgive MM for his. And yes, rant all you want, we're totally here to listen and support!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for listening and for the support :) We are both doing better. He finally quit jumping on my last nerve, lol.

      Delete
  19. hugs and hugs. i hate when they do nothing too. altho i'm often in that zone where i'm ranting and getting madder and they go further away and that escalates the whole thing

    so i told BIKSS just 2 days ago that in the event i'm pissy and seem to shut him out or tell him i want space to chill, don't believe me., cos i know it'll only make me feel lousier.

    and if musicman reads this, i'm hoping he'll go to you and hug you out of this funk.

    *kisses*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is something that we have dealt with our entire relationship. He can become very negative and it overwhelms me until I eventually explode. We both have worked at it over the years and it has gotten better. Contrary to what he might think, I know neither of us is perfect. We are both doing better :)

      Delete
  20. Oh...honest, I appreciate your rant--thanks for sharing..sometimes this blogging place can appear perfect...perfect temperaments, perfect responses, etc.
    It can be awfully annoying to want a different emotional response from our partners than what they are giving us in the moment.
    Hope you can find some untangelement before next week.
    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for being honest :) I usually share just about everything, maybe too much sometimes, lol. But, having a place to say what I can't say in real life is one of the reasons I blog. Here you will get the good, the bad and the ugly. Today it happened to be the bad, be thankful it wasn't the ugly.

      And yes, sometimes he can be annoying, I love him anyway :)

      Delete
  21. We all need a place to vent sometimes, faerie, I'm sorry things seem to be so unsettled.

    I know what works for some doesn't always work for others, but when Ward is quiet, stressed or restrained, before I have a chance to get myself all worked up about it, I usually bring him the hairbrush, lay across his lap & tell him he'll feel better. Stress relief works both ways, and sometimes he needs it, too :) And it stops me from starting my spin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks June, things are a bit better. I knew he was stressing and agitated and I tried to help. I just didn't think of that. Maybe next time I will, and maybe it will work. I always say I'll try anything once, twice if it doesn't hurt too much, lol. Though my perceptions of too much seem to be changing :)

      Delete
  22. No fun, faerie, and sadly it sounds familiar. Our house can degenerate into an armed warcamp like this as well, with both of us staring across the Maginot line at each other in silence, or more likely, ostentatiously busying ourselves with other trivial tasks in an effort to show we don't care, that the whole thing isn't bothering US!

    I'm sure things will improve. And I hope for both of your sakes that it happens quickly!

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These incidences are rare for us, but they do happen. I admit, I don't even try to pretend that it doesn't bother me. He might wish I did cause he gets the full on brunt of my bad attitude. Which seems fair to me if he caused the attitude in the first place. Things are better here, I hope they are at your place too.

      Delete
  23. I'm sorry you had such a rough weekend, Faerie. :( I hope as the week goes on things will get better and that you'll have a much better weekend coming up! (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Grace, I hope so too. Things are getting better, we just need to find some time to reconnect a bit better, maybe tonight :)

      Delete
  24. It wasn't a downer. It was honest and true. I'm so sick of this "he needs more sleep than I do". He gets more sleep than I do because he can. Because I get up.

    Sorry, rant coming on. But I won't tell him, I'll tell you. Too sleepy to deal with that now.

    Great post. Love your honesty. Means a lot to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Emen, I try to be as honest as I can be in my everyday life. Here I see no reason not to tell it like it is. Our energy levels are one area where we are grossly mismatched. I have always had way more energy then he has. It used to irk me a lot, not as much now, but I was very disappoited when he woke up in as bad a mood as he went to sleep with. He just pushed me a little too far this time.

      Delete