Meltdown in the Making

Musicman often tells me I portray him as perfect when I write about him here. Let me assure you he is not perfect. In case any of you thought he was, I doubt you will after reading this post. It's gonna be a rant and most likely unpleasant, so feel free to skip it. I won't be offended in the slightest.

Musicman woke up yesterday in a pissy ass mood. Yes, when I'm annoyed my language degenerates to that of a long shore man. You've been warned. We left the house early to do errands, he complained incessantly about every perceived minuscule inconvenience. Other then that though, he had nothing to say to me. He gets like this sometimes and I do my best to help him get through it. When that fails, I ignore it. But all that negativity he spews does a number on me, I just can't handle it.

When we got home I started cleaning and cooking. I even baked brownies for him in an effort cheer him up. He took a 4 hour nap. I used to resent the fact that he required so much more sleep then me, cause that takes up time we could be doing something together. I learned along time ago though, that letting him sleep is the best thing. Sometimes he wakes up in a better mood, that's what I was hoping for this time. No such luck.

He continued to say nothing to me or even notice I was in the room, unless, he felt the need to complain about something. I wouldn't mind his complaining so much if he actually had something to complain about. He didn't, he just complained about every trivial little thing. Complained just to hear himself complain I think.

By 10 last night I had reached my breaking point with it all. However, since I had already been trying all day long to push him out of this mood, I just gave up. We sat in silence, except for his occasional complaining until midnight. That's when I went to bed, alone. I'm not used to going to bed alone and I slept very badly, waking often and having nightmares when I did sleep.

Needless to say, that doesn't make for a pleasant faerie today. He seemed surprised today when he got up and I was not my usual pleasant self, happy to see him. When he questioned me about it, I told him how he acted yesterday and how it affected me. He apologized, but apparently I wasn't ready to hear it. I busied myself with more housework and laundry.

Things might have gone better and I might have been able to work the mad out of my system except, my washer broke. Now, I'm seriously stressed.  I have a full week of work ahead of me and no clean uniforms to wear. I asked Musicman to look at it and he made one comment, just one. That comment was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I yelled, I screamed, I stomped around the house and generally acted like a 2 year old having a tantrum. I loaded up the laundry and left to go to the laundromat. Unfortunately, just a few blocks from the house I realized I had forgotten the detergent and fabric softener, back home I went. More stomping and foulness ensued. When I'm on a tear, any smart person will get out of my way. Musicman may not be perfect, but he's plenty smart, he got out of my way.

The angrier I get, the more he backs off and leaves me be. The more he backs off and leaves me be the angrier I get. I'm really not sure what it is I want him to do. I sure wouldn't mess with me when I am like this. Which, just for the record is pretty rare for me. But, I have realized I want him to do something, anything, but what he does do, which is nothing.

So after a crappy week last week, we started out the weekend good, but it didn't last. It's been a pretty crappy weekend too. I have another long week of work next week, which starts with funeral services to attend tomorrow night after work. Oh joy, just what I want to do.

At this point, nothing has been resolved between us and silence reigns supreme here in the faerie/Musicman household. If you have read this far I apologize for being such a debbie downer, but it is helping me calm some to get it out. Maybe we will be able to fix the situation before it carries over into next week.