Tuesday, March 13, 2012

He is Dominant

Musicman and I have very different personalities.

He is a pessimist, I am an optimist.

He is antisocial, I am a social butterfly.

He is very responsible, I am fun loving and carefree.

He is Dominant, I am submissive.

I was well aware of all the above statements, except that last one, when we married.  Yet, that is the one that has had the biggest impact on my life.

I knew that if I chose to be with him my life would change. I knew he was not going to bend too much.  That was okay with me, I'm very flexible. I wanted that unbending strength, not just his physical strength, but his strength of character.

He feels the weight of responsibility very acutely, to the point of having tunnel vision at times. These responsibilities can make him a very serious person.  He forgets to enjoy life.

We had an opportunity to get away for a couple nights. I had big plans. I had a pretty dress and sparkly shoes just waiting to be worn. I was looking forward to making wild and wonderful memories with him. Memories are the most precious things to me. No one can ever take those away.

I thought he knew how important this opportunity was to me, how much I wanted those memories. I was wrong. He didn't see me, he didn't hear me, he was stuck in that tunnel.

I try to live my life without regrets. I look for the lessons in the situations before me. I make an active attempt to be open to experiences that come my way. I long to make great memories.

I feel like I have missed an opportunity to experience an adventure that would have given me great memories. This opportunity was not something he could bend on right now.  I accept that.

He is Dominant, I am submissive.


                                        



23 comments:

  1. It's a balancing act, isn't it? What he wants, what he's comfortable with, what he needs versus what you want, what you're comfortable with, what you need. It's wonderful when we both want and need and are comfortable with the same thing, when we're on the same page. But, it doesn't always happen that way. (((hugs)))

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    1. I'm a Libra, I should be better at balancing, lol. Thanks for the hug :)

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  2. I am so sorry you are going to miss this trip. I know how much you were looking forward to going. My wish is that he realizes how much you need to get away for a few days after everything that has occurred lately and he will make it happen in the very near future.

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    1. Thanks Sunnygirl, I hope you made that wish on a star for me, cause they always come true.

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  3. Sometimes I wonder what to do with the disappointment when like you, I defer to my husband's desires...at sacrifice to myself. It feels like a really big deal and the resentment and sadness can kick in and get me very down. I like how you have decided to handle this faerie and I really hope that he sees your sadness and makes it up to you, very soon.

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    1. The sadness is what brings me so low, but part of that is because I let myself get so excited about things. It makes the fall that much harder when you start out higher up.

      I don't really have problems with resentment about things, that's a negative emotion that does me no good to foster. I just accept and learn and move on, only not always that smoothly, lol.

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  4. Tunnel vision can leave you no escape from the advancing train.... I hope he learns that sometimes it is more important to just LIVE, than spend your whole time on earth navigating through life....we only get the one shot!!!! See if you can convince him to aim for that adventure next time the chance presents itself!!! xxx

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    1. We have been hit by that train a time or two before. Usually we are both better in this situation but neither of us are perfect. We both made msitakes, now we deal with it and move along.

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  5. Only a strong woman can be a successful submissive, because sometimes it sucks. You are right about memories, I so agree, hopefully you will be creating those precious moments soon abby

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    1. It does suck sometimes, but sometimes is doesn't.
      I guess that's why we do it.

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  6. *hugs* dear faerie. It is hard. And i agree with abby it is a strong woman who is a successful submissive.
    It is very much a balancing act to meet each other's needs. And its a fine line to accept his dominance over and above your own needs without feeling bullied or like a doormat too or feeling like one. I find that hard to balance. (Plesae know that Im not calling you a doormat at all so please dont read my comment like that :) )
    I am sure another opportunity will come up to make those precious memories....
    love kiwi xxx

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    1. I didn't think you were calling me doormat, lol. My balance is a little off kilter right now, but I'm not down for the count yet.

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  7. I'm sorry about your trip faerie. It's sometimes hard to find that 'fun' within the struggles of everyday life, the less fun you have, the more of a habit it can become. I like your attitude about it, I'm sure musicman will come around, if not now but soon, and you will have your memories.

    Dee x

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    1. I just get so tired of being a grownup sometimes.

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  8. I'm so sorry you were disappointed. Those kinds of let-downs are hard to accept sometimes, for me anyhow.

    It sounds like you're framing a way to do it. I"m kinda impressed.

    Hugs, and hope that wonderful surprises come your way,

    aisha

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    1. Thanks aisha, this did hit me kinda hard, but I've experienced worse. I'm gonna try and be positive and open so I don't miss what might be coming.

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  9. Sometimes when we miss an opportunity a bigger, better one comes along that we cannot even fathom in our moment of disappointment. I am sorry that this happened but it seems like you are dealing with it rather well. ~hugs~

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    1. Reality bites sometimes, and for a few minutes I wanted to bite back. LOL.

      I really am an optimist though possibly a hormonal one at the moment :0

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  10. faerie,

    I so know what you mean. I just want to have fun, sometimes, and Daddy is all serious and practical...but, I wouldn't change him for the world. I need him to be the way he is.

    I'm impressed with how you're accepting his decision. Hope you'll be even closer because of it!

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. Thank you Kitty, not much comes between us and I usually don't stay sad for long, it's just not me.

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  11. Sorry you were disappointed. Hope something better comes along soon.

    FD

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