Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Broken Wings

I've been hiding, crawled away and am licking my wounds. These are not deep everlasting wounds, hopefully they will not become chronic wounds. They have been very acute wounds for the last little bit of time though.

When I started this journey I knew we would have missteps, I knew we would encounter pitfalls. I anticipated that we would find ourselves at different places at different times. We are very different people, he and I. We do not learn and process things the same way. We do not grow and change at the same rate. We have been together a long time and I know these things. I thought I was prepared.

I knew when we started this journey that I was far ahead of him. I recognize that this is my need, not his. I understand that he is willing to make these changes and take this journey with me because he loves me.

I get that there is no road map to follow and that sometimes when you venture into the unknown you run the risk of getting lost. Sometimes you get lost in dangerous territory, a place you must stay vigilant in, or someone might get hurt. I knew this and I still took the risk.

The risk has paid off in many ways. I often find this unknown territory to be a place of great beauty and immeasurable joy. I can fly higher there then I have ever flown before. It's euphoric. It's better then any drug I've ever tried, and I've tried a few.

My wings are new, we are still learning the subtleties of controlling them. Sometimes everything goes well and I fly smoothly. I soar and swoop and even do loop-de-loops and I land gracefully on a rainbow.

Sometimes we bobble on take off, the flight proceeds in fits and starts. Sometimes we go the wrong way and the landscape isn't so beautiful. I don't soar during these flights. Instead, I struggle to stay aloft and follow the course set before me. Sometimes we aren't vigilant enough and can't see that the course set before us leads to disaster. Sometimes I crash.

I don't regret taking the risk. I'll take it again soon, but now, I'm just going to hide for awhile and give my broken wings some time to heal.

I will fly again and it will be beautiful.



                                                       





41 comments:

  1. Perhaps bent but not broken?
    Sometimes we all just need some time to recover and nurse our wounds.
    Here's to when you spread your wings again!

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    1. Thanks lil, perhaps you are right, bent not broken :)

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  2. Sometimes things just don't play out the way we hope for, we all have missteps. I hope you don't hide for long Faerie! (((hugs)))

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    1. I won't, I soon get lonely and want to come back out and play.

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  3. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  4. Thinking of you and sending warm thoughts.

    Fondly. Skyb

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    1. Thank you Sky, I hope you are well also.

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  5. Sorry that you are hurting Faerie. Don't hide too long, find your man's strong arms and rest in them.

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    1. His strong arms are a little weary right now, but we are working on it. Thank you for the support.

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  6. I like what lil said -- perhaps bent, not broken. I agree it's a journey, sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's fantastic. I hope you get through your rough patch. *hugs*

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    1. I like what lil said too, I believe she is right, bent not broken.

      It helps immensely to have the outlet of writing here to get through the rough patches and the support of friends is priceless :)

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  7. i am sorry you are going through a rough patch....I like what susie said - find your man's strong arms and rest in them.
    Hope you are feeling better soon
    love and hugs kiwi xxx

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    1. Hi Kiwi, life can seem like just a series of rough patches strung together if you let it. I will rest and we will pass through this rough patch and enjoy the sunshine when it comes :)

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  8. HUGs....and let me say you write very eloquently about your pain. Jourmets mean highs and lows. You will climb and soar again. Take what time you need. abby

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    1. Thank you for the lovely compliment abby. I find writing quite beneficial and personally satisfying, it still surprises me that others enjoy reading it.

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  9. Dear Faerie, Hoping you will be able to ease your sadness and seek comfort in your man's arms. 25 years together is remarkable. God Bless,
    Isabella

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    1. Thank you Isabella and welcome to my little blog. I've spent over half my life with Musicman and I wouldn't want it any other way.

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  10. Psst, faerie!! I'm scooting over and you can sit by me. We will talk and laugh for a while...and then we will go home....feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a new day. Don't forget your knife. We need a wee bit of kindling.

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    1. Gotcha, knife and kindling. Do you happen to know what kind of wine goes best with S'mores? LOL.

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  11. Faerie,
    I love you. I'm so glad you are willing to fly, even if you get bumped up from time to time. Just keep trying.

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. Thank you my friend for being a part of my journey. I truly appreciate it.

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  12. (((Hugs!))) Hope tomorrow will be a better day!

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. Thank you Kitty, if not tomorrow then the next day I'm sure :)

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  13. Hugs I am sorry to hear thatt things arent going well. Take all of the time you need to heal, will be here when you come back.

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    1. Thank you Tiffany, time is a great healer :)

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  14. Ah sorry faerie, I feel certain your wings won't be broken for long though.

    Dee x

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    1. Thank you for the vote of confidence Dee, I'm sure you're right.

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  15. Missteps happen. I can be hard to get back up and fly. It takes time to heal but you will fly again. Hugs

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    1. Hi Dragon's Rose, it can be hard to get back up, but I will when the time is right. Let's just both pray when I do I don't fly into a wall, lol.

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  16. Hi faerie,

    This is offtopic, but I'm on a mission to spread the word to my favorite bloggers that you can remove the captcha words so it's easier for people to comment.

    All you do is go to your dashboard, then settings, then comments, then go down and it will ask a question, "Show word verification for comments?" Click on No.

    Love,
    Kitty

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  17. I tried to post yesterday but it seems I am having some trouble. I hope you are having a better day and that fly soon. Hugs.

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    1. I am having a little bit better day today thank you. I hope you are doing well, I miss your blog and hope you can start again sometime :0

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    2. It's actually still out there, I just messed it up. LOL. The new address is http://underhisthumb-db.blogspot.com/ and you have to re follow to get it again. (I didn't get the implications of doing that)I am really bummed because I was just starting out and now I lost my few followers. Oh well.

      I am glad your day is getting better. We are always here when you need us.

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    3. Just saw you found me...so glad it worked. I have no idea how to get the word out. I was going to do a post but duh....nobody can see it! LOL

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    4. I followed the link you left above to find you. I can put up a short post with the new address if you would like.

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  18. Kitty,

    Thank you, I have been meaning to ask how to do that. I followed your instructions but can not find anywhere that it asks about word verification. Under settings my comments and posts are listed together as one category. I already have it set on open comments. Any other suggestions are greatly appreciated.

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  19. If you're on you're at your home page and go to the top at the right hand side of the page, click on design, then it should take you to Blogger::Edit Layout. On that page click on the link to Settings, then on the next page click on Comments, and scroll down on that page and there should be a question that shows up towards the end of the page, "Show word verification for comments?" and there is where you click NO!

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  20. Kitty, I found it and clicked no and remembered to click save settings, lol. Hopefully it worked, thanks for your help, I really appreciate it :)

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  21. You're very welcome!

    Love,
    Kitty

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  22. if at first you don't succeed try try again...I keep learning to fly again and again...

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