Thank you and farewell, for now

First I'd like to say, Thank You.  Thank you to my readers and commenters over all the many years I've come here to express my thoughts and emotions.

This is the most welcoming community I've ever had the privilege to be a part of.  No matter what I'm dealing with I've always been able to come here and express myself.  I've received love, support, friendship and the occasional kick in the ass when needed.

I wish blogland was a real physical place.  There have been so many days I would have given just about anything to pop in and have a cup of coffee or maybe a glass of wine and chat with y'all.  I've found much wisdom and strength from each and every one of you, be it through comments you've left, or what you've shared on your own blogs.  Y'all have helped me more than you can know.

Now for the farewell.

I've spent the  last several weeks getting my affairs in order.  I'm leaving Musicman.  Words I never thought I'd say.  Words that break my heart.  I still love him, but this relationship, the entire situation really,  is toxic.  If I don't leave I will not survive.  I  truly believe that and can not let that happen.

I'm leaving Sunday.  I'm going to be staying with my brother and T.  I've spent quite a bit of the last year with them and that truly is home for me now.

I'm scared.  I'm excited. I feel confident in my decision.  I feel free.  I'm looking forward to having a life and being happy again instead of just existing.

I don't know if I'll have much time or content to write about so I don't know if I'll ever come back.

I don't long distance drive. I tend to have panic attacks just being a passenger in a car on the highway.  I have to drive 300 miles by myself on Sunday.  Prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated, especially since there is a good possibility I'll be driving through a snow storm the first couple of hours.

I wish you all much love and happiness .