Friday, May 4, 2018

Busy busy bee

So things here have been busy busy with boring vanilla stuff.

Paperwork out my ass for my inpending surgery.  Might not be so bad if my hands and arms didn't go numb 3 minutes after I start.  Which wouldn't be the case if I would consent to neck surgery .  Or they could look it up in the computer, but why make things easier for the patient?

Neck surgery?  Not happening anytime soon.

Irritated beyond belief at the ineptness of the insurance companies and the need for the continued fight for the benefits I paid for.  I  don't suffer fool's and idiots easily, and that seems to be what I'm dealing with at every turn.

There was no answer to my email to Musicman.  I waited a week. Nothing.  Not even an acknowledgement that he got it or read it.

I told myself I wasn't gonna confront him.  I  wasn't gonna ask about it.  Yeah right.  I did.

He didn't have much to say about it.  He seems quite happy I'm leaving for a month.

I'll be busy with pre-op testing and other medical stuff when I get home.  Once I do get home it'll only be 3 weeks till my shoulder surgery.  There's a chance, depending on how the healing goes I'll have to go through a second procedure.

So not looking forward to that, or Musicman as my nurse.  Seriously contemplating leaving for good once I'm healed from the surgery.

Yes, I know that breaks the vows I said, and that pains me greatly.  But I seriously think if he can betray me, lie to me and put me last on his list of concerns, then maybe if I have a chance to be happy, I should take it.




12 comments:

  1. Sending you huge (((hugs))) Faerie, you are dealing with so much. I think the time away visiting your brother before surgery will be good for you.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you Roz, some days can be quite overwhelming, but I do the best I can to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Spending time with my brother and SIL is going to do wonders for me.

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  2. So much is involved in such a decision, money, companionship, history... I don't know musicman. You're my friend and I'd like you to be happy, or if not wildly happy at least peaceful and content. I really hope you find that.

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    1. I understand there is a lot to think about before making a decision like this one. And while I've not made a decision yet, it's something I've been thinking about for the last couple years, literally. That's how bad things have been. My posts have really only scratched the surface and since he refuses to even communicate about the situation I don't see how it can be fixed.

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  3. My heart aches for you, Faerie. I know how much it hurts to pour your heart out to someone and not get a response. Sending good energy your way, keeping you in my thoughts...

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    1. It was a last ditch effort to get him to engage and it failed. I'm truly at a loss as to what else to try. Things haven't been good for quite awhile and no matter what I try, things just aren't changing. I don't believe he wants them to.

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  4. I wish I had the magic words...instead I give you hugs and friendship. I hope you find your happiness

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    1. Thank you Terpsichore, your friendship and support are appreciated more than I can say.

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  5. I too hope that you find your happiness, Faerie. :) You've been through so much. I wish you an easy time of your surgery. Take care. Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie

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    1. It has been some very difficult few years, I'm still hopeful that we can turn things around. Maybe after the surgery, though I am fresh out of ideas how to get him to respond.

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  6. Hope your surgery..and recovery go smoothly...you have had a rough year, my friend. And...my advice, from someone who has bee there...similar, not exactly the same...sometimes we just have to do what is best for us....to have the life we deserve...hugs abby

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  7. Thank you abby, I'm really hoping the surgery goes well so I won't need the second procedure and will have the use of my arm again. I'm also hoping that once I've gotten past that maybe Musicman will be able to stop shutting me out and we can work on us. As difficult as things have been I love him, I just can't live this way anymore.

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