I'll be answering comments soon, I appreciate them all, but life just seems to get in the way sometimes
So, I had a not so great moment. I totally forgot to check in with my emotions. I didn't check the negative thoughts. I spiraled into the abyss, and he walked through the door and caught the brunt of my wrath.
I let something that would normally not bother me, jump on my last nerve. It was ugly and if we were a dd couple I'd definitely deserve a punishment. But we aren't that kind of couple. I sometimes wish we were, but I know that's never gonna happen.
Instead I raged and cried and accused. All the things I said I wasn't gonna do. I'm so ashamed of myself. What came out needed to be said. That I'm not ashamed of, how I said it? That I'm ashamed of.
He handled it so much better than I expected. He listened, and actually heard me. He calmed my fears, while also expressing his own doubts.
I respect and understand that.