Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Breaking an ironclad rule

Sometimes the need to write, to express myself, my inner most thoughts, is so powerfully overwhelming. My head whirls with thoughts that yearn to see daylight. Thoughts that want to be examined, untangled and understood.  I'm so grateful to have this place to do that, but that big, white, blank page is always intimidating. Very strange, but  apropos I suppose, since I'm somewhat strange myself  😆.

I had an opportunity this past summer to get away for a while.  I'd just gotten out of the damnable sling I'd spent the past 2 1/2 months in. My shoulder wasn't healed, but stable. The doctor felt I needed a little more time to heal before starting therapy, so not much to do but wait. Yeah, I'm not so good at that.

When the opportunity to get away for a while presented itself I was totally on board. I  felt it would be good for me to get away from everything, leave the stress behind and focus on myself for once. I also thought it might be a bit of an eye opener for Musicman. A chance for him to see what I was dealing with on a daily basis at home. 

Our daughter and her family had finally moved out the previous fall, but our son was still with us. I  really wanted to see how Musicman dealt with everything without having me around as a buffer.

I knew it was going to be difficult, if not impossible to convince Musicman.  We've had a few ironclad rules from the very beginning of our relationship. Rules I readily agreed to at the time and until recently had no problems obeying. One of those rules is that I ALWAYS sleep in Musicman's bed.  This is a non-negotiable rule. It's a rule that's never been broken, except in extenuating circumstances.

Needless to say, it was a tough sell. The only reason Musicman reluctantly agreed and allowed me to go was because I was going to stay with my brother and his wife.

I've always been close with my brother.  Not surprising he's a lot like Musicman in most, though not all respects. My sister-in-law, T,  is the sister of my heart. We'd be happiest if we lived next door to each other instead of 600 miles apart.

I had 3 glorious weeks of fun and sun and no responsibilities.  T and I spent many nights sitting on the porch, listening to music and talking well into the wee hours of the morning. Dancing in the rain together at 5am after spending the whole night talking and singing along to all our favorite songs was balm to my soul.

I worked through a lot of the things I needed to during those porch nights with T.  Lazy mornings over coffee and weekend jaunts to fun places was exactly what I needed.

Musicman and I texted every day and I truly felt we were making positive progress. Moving forward through the pain of the past. As much as I didn't want to leave, I did feel as if I  was coming home with a fresh view of things. A chance to leave behind me all the negative, embrace the positive and move forward together.

Yeah, about that...




12 comments:

  1. I'm glad you had those three weeks. Sounds like they were good for you personally anyway. For what ever happened he's decided it's over, you've decided it's not. Too bad you can't flip a coin.

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    1. I wish it was as easy as flipping a coin. But for many reasons life just isn't easy, particularly right now.

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  2. Glad you were able to have those 3 weeks....they were much needed. hugs abby

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    1. They were much needed and very helpful in many ways.

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  3. I'm so glad you had that time away together. Sounds like you needed it.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. We weren't together, but I definitely needed it.

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  4. i think having some solo time is important, i'm glad you got what you needed... and someone to talk to during the time away. *hugs*

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    1. It was very much needed and T is a wonderful support to me.

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  5. Even if the aftermath of your three week trip wasn't what you wanted, those three weeks were magical and no one can take that time or experiences away from you. Sometimes you just need to get away.

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    1. It was a much needed break. Fun, relaxing and T is a great listener and cheerleader.

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  6. So glad you had that time to just be, reflect, relax, and enjoy company of your brother and sister at heart.

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    1. It was absolutely what I needed. I'm planning another trip either this spring or summer. Musicman doesn't like when I'm gone but has accepted that time with them is good for me in so many ways.

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