Wednesday, January 29, 2014

It Slipped Out

Do you have someone in your life, other than your spouse, that you can talk in depth about sex with? I don't. I have a great girlfriend whom I would not be embarrassed to discuss sex with, but we don't. I actually brought up the subject once with her. Kind of an effort to feel her out, test her reaction so to speak, if I told her about my blog.  She turned kinda red, told me she and her husband, whom she loves very much, had not had sex in years. Then she quickly changed the subject. Needless to say, I never mentioned my blog. That happened a couple years ago, shortly after I started this blog. I've never considered mentioning the blog to anyone else, until recently.

There is a young girl I work with, just 22 years old. For the sake of this post I will refer to her as S. S is a lovely girl who lives with her 40 year old boyfriend. On occasion she will ask me questions about sex. One day during our lunch break she started talking about sex and the things her boyfriend had been asking of her. She wanted my opinion on it. This particular day she wanted to talk about blowjobs, one of my favorite subjects. During our discussion, the fact that I write a blog about sexual and relationship stuff slipped out. I did not tell her the name of it, or give any specifics. Actually, I was kind of horrified that I had told her. I had never intended to, I just got caught up in the conversation and it happened. That conversation happened about 6 weeks ago and she's never mentioned it again, until yesterday.

Yesterday, S, myself and another young girl, M, were sitting together chatting. S said she had a question for us. She asked both of us if we had ever been asked by our guys to lick their balls and if we had what did we think of it? Now, in situations like this, I tend to listen more than talk. That was pretty easy to do because M seems to think she is an expert on the subject of sex and had a lot to say about the subject. Most of what she had to say was how disgusting that was and how she would never do it. All I contributed to the conversation was, yes, I had been asked and no I didn't have a problem with it.

All would have been fine, except, S remembered my blog and said she wanted to read it because she thought she could learn a lot from it. That's when M piped up and started asking me about it. First she wanted to know if I wrote about my coworkers. I told her no, since I usually don't and that's not really the focus of this blog. Then she wanted to know if it was an open diary. Well...of a sort. I simply told her that my blog contains content which requires me to carry a warning that it's not suitable for those under 18.

At that point, S started asking me again if I would tell her the name of it. Could she find it if she googled my name? The answer to that, is no by the way. She went on and on trying to get me to tell her, with M listening quite closely and contributing to the badgering also. At that point I said, vanilla isn't really a word associated with me and left it at that. M took that opportunity to state she wasn't vanilla either and that she had tried everything.

Now, I don't mean to be judgmental, but M has shared, possibly over shared, quite a bit about her sex life. She definitely hasn't tried everything. And, though just my opinion, she is what I would consider vanilla. In fact, I would categorize her as someone who doesn't really like sex, but does it to get and keep a man. I've often felt bad for her that she seems to not understand how exhilarating and fulfilling great sex can be.

M is most definitely not the person I would choose to share things I share here with. I couldn't ever see me telling her that Musicman spent quite some time Friday evening warming my backside with the hairbrush before moving on to the flogger and some mind blowing sex. I also wouldn't ever tell her that Saturday night he chose the leather strap and the G-spot vibrator to drive me right over the edge of sanity. I'd probably have to explain first the g-spot and then the g-spot vibrator to her.

I ended the conversation by telling S that she was free to look for my blog, but that I didn't think she could find it. I'm pretty sure I'm correct in that assumption, but ya never know. I'm not going to worry about it, if she does stumble across it, I'll deal with it then. So, have any of you ever shared your blog with people in your real life, other than your spouse?

38 comments:

  1. No, I've not shared my blog with anyone IRL except Ray. I've only told about 4 people about my books.

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    1. I hope the people you shared your books with were supportive. I never meant to share the fact that I have a blog with anyone in RL, oops!

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  2. I gave my baby brother my fet id but not the name of my blog. He knows that I have one but after reading my fet profile, I think he is afraid to ask. Lol. No judgment from him. He knows I am not strictly hetero but not the full extent of my lifestyle. Yikes...

    I would like to meet a few bloggers but I can't imagine sharing my blog with vanilla friends

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    1. I would love the opportunity to meet blogger friends too. Though to me that would be a bit different, cause I would already know we are of like minds and most likely would be non judgmental about it.

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  3. No, haven't told anyone about my blog. Only P who knows about it.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. That's the way I meant for it to be also. Me and my big mouth, sheesh.

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  4. I have a close friend who knows a little about my sex life, the kink but only what i choose to share, she is very open about her sex life so im relaxed when talking to her about it.

    Would i tell her about my blog? no, i wouldnt tell anyone, the only other person who knows about it that i know is my Master, i wouldnt tell anyone else simply because of its content, and as much as one may think they are close to another, i wouldnt want to risk their view of me changing, i learnt a long time ago that unless your involved in ttwd in some way, most people are not going to understand.

    x

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    1. I rarely start conversations about sex, but I don't shy away from them either. Usually if the situation arises I just talk generally and in a way that leaves them wondering. I didn't mean to say anything about it when it happened and I glossed over it at the time and it wasn't an issue. I have never mentioned anything about D/s or kink to anyone, so I doubt she would look for that. I certainly don't come across as submissive to anyone that knows me.

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  5. most of my friends know I blog but don't read it.
    A close friend (cop) stumbled upon my blog because of my G+ profile and has become one of my biggest fans.
    I do post pics of my face, among other things.
    Taking a wild guess here, I think my friends are not so curious about my blog because I have never hid it or made it seem that it was too private for their view which does not arise any type of curiosity in them and I want to leave it like that *grins*

    enjoyed your post

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    1. That's very cool that your friends know about it and it's not a problem. I wonder if it is a difference in cultures in this case? Sex is still something that is rarely ever discussed where I live. We have school's that will only teach abstinence if they even have sex education. I wish that were different, but change takes a long time.

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  6. No one in RL know about New Beginnings except for my sister and I've asked her not to read it because it's more of an on line diary. I am 99.9 % sure she will honor my wished. Now there are a lot of people I met here anonymously that are now real life friends. So in a backwards way some friends know.

    As for my writing blog, I'm still not wild about RL vanilla's reading it, but the blog address is in the books. I haven't a link to New Beginnings there. The bottom line is I'd rather vanilla's I really know would not read my blogs, but every day I realize I'm less and less concerned.

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    1. I would love to meet some blogger friends, but I do think that would be different than just a RL life already friend finding the blog. Let's face it, if you met through blogging, you already have at least one common interest, the one you keep secret from everyone else. I really never meant to say anything about my blog, sometimes though, my mouth gets ahead of my brain. I hate when that happens, lol.

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  7. To me (a mere lurker) I would say this would be a good time to tell them that you stopped blogging and took it down. Then the opportunity to read it would be gone and they can continue to include you and ask advice but not have access to your most interpersonal "goings on" How is your son doing?

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    1. Welcome anon, and there is no such thing as a "mere lurker", we love our lurkers and we like it even more when they join the conversation. Thanks for joining. If the subject comes up again, I just may tell them that :) My son is doing fine, annoying me on a regular basis. I'm pretty sure that is the job description for an 18 year old kid, lol.

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    2. Thats good. I said a prayer for him when you shared the girlfriend incident. My suggestion may be a small lie, but if it extends the anonimity that you prefer, I think it's ok :) Love your blog.

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  8. Yes and no...I have shared with a couple of good friends in real life that I am friends with an online community and that we discuss relationships and that I have my own blog...but have never specifically shared the details and everyone has respected my privacy and not asked allowing me only to share what I am comfortable sharing...the one friend I did slip and tell the basic content that it was about spanking did not ask to read nor did I offer but she herself would possibly engage if she had a willing partner and did not bat an eyelash nor pass any judgment. I was glad to discover I have a couple of friends I could "glaze" over with the idea that I liked to be spanked in the bedroom without it being a big deal and without necessary engaging a big conversation but am glad to keep my blog private between myself and my friends here and my husband if he should ever choose to read it. Hope all is well with you. Sending hugs

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    1. That's nice that you have friends that you could tell in an "in general" way. That was what I had thought I would say to my good friend, but based on our conversation, I didn't. When I slipped with S, I explained it as a relationship blog also, but that it was about my intimate relationship. I said that because I had told her that sex was basically a hobby of mine, cause I do think it is and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm doing okay, hope you are too :)

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  9. Nobody in my RL knows about the blog, or my writer one. Even if I met somebody in RL I could trust to tell them about the blog, I wouldn't because its about P too and I don't have any right to expose him. My blog isn't retrievable via search engines, so this helps keep it hidden.

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    1. I have often thought about that aspect of things. I personally would not be too embarrassed if some people found out about my blog. I'm pretty open about the fact that I love sex and everything about it, but I don't feel it is my place to expose my husband. I do that enough with the blog and thankfully he is quite accepting and supportive of it.

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  10. Only my sister and my husband know that I blog. My husband has access, but my sister does not. Rather than care much about what anyone else might think, I would worry that I might edit my words more if I knew that people I know IRL (besides my husband) were reading. My blog is just an outlet for me, so it would be pointless if I felt I had to edit myself :) It sounds like you handled that slip well, btw!

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    1. I worried about possibly editing my words when I first told my husband about the blog. I had been blogging about 2 months when I shared it with him. I'm happy to say that even though he reads every post, and I know that, it does not effect what I write. Maybe because while he sometimes acts on things I've blogged about, he almost never speaks about it directly.

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  11. As others have said, the reverse is true. I am friends with several that I've met in blog land. Some of my closest friends now are folks I met here. But no one IRL who I didn't meet here knows except Sir. For that matter, no one knows I'm twisty kinky. No one would ever guess that I am submissive if they met me in vanilla life. Funny.

    Hugs,
    Fiona

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    1. I know I don't come across as submissive in real life. But, I don't think most people would be surprised to find out that I have a kinky streak. They'd just be surprised to find out what it is. I have never mentioned the word submissive or anything relating to it to anyone, so I don't think she will think to look for that.

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  12. No one but Sir,,,,knows. I have a feeling most of my RL friends would read it...wonder if it was me..and then decided NO WAY...can't be hers.
    hugs abby

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    1. Heeheehee, isn't it wonderful to have that other side that only he sees? I don't think anyone be surprised to find out I'm a bit twisted... but submissive? That would probably make then laugh...hard :)

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  13. Hey Faerie...nope...haven't shared with anyone in my FTF life. And sure wouldn't share anything about my sex life (vanilla or otherwise) with anyone I work with. It's just a thing I have about TMI with co-workers. ;)

    Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. I never initiate conversations about my sex life, but I don't shy away from them either. Usually, if I contribute anything, it is in an in general way. I do like to leave people wondering, and I'm very good at that :)

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  14. Hi Faerie, No, I haven't shared my blog with anyone in my FTF life either. I have a good friend who I talk about sex with, but without too much personal detail, more general in nature. I am mostly listening rather than doing the talking during these conversations.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. I would say the few conversations I've had with S, which she has initiated, have all been "in general", until I slipped. I'm very good at listening during those conversations and then injecting just enough to make them wonder, usually.

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  15. Nope. Never will either. I never share bedroom stuff with friends. And I make a point of not discussing our personal life either. Sometimes I may joke around with friends when they are laughing about spankings, etc. But it is all just for fun.

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    1. I share very little of my personal life with anyone but close friends. There again, if I do share anything, it's in an in general way. I'm a good listener, which makes it easy to steer conversations and it's a very useful talent I have nurtured over the years.

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  16. Hello Faerie,
    I would never share my blog with RL people of any kind. The only exception is hubby. I think it would be embarrassing and cause unnecessary problems, if the wrong people found out.

    Nina

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    1. It would cause problems for me too if the wrong people found out about this blog. My job requires me to have state and federal clearances, which is why I was so horrified when I let it slip out.

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  17. I'm quite the opposite actually. Lived a Master/slave lifestyle out in the open for 17 years, so while in the beginning, it blew a few minds, no one thinks twice about it now. All my friends are kinky or aware of my predilections. Even my kids which while that doesn't thrill me, it's honest. And if they go upstairs in my house, I have a pretty fully equipped dungeon with whips, chains, floggers and the hated paddle. Actually have a small dungeon in the basement and Don hung a great variety of ropes whips and paddles in hooks in our bedroom while he lived with me. He's gone but paddles still remain. Encouraging for the next guy, smiling.


    Actually spent last night in a motel with a gu who claims he's dominant and interested in a domestic discipline lifestyle. He came in from four hours away, I live near capital of NYS. He was really nice buttttttt not the dominance that I need and crave. We had great fun ( a few ummm rather embarrassing moments ( ughhh don't ask but my body is old) but doubt we are doing this again. I am having a mite bit of trouble walking this morning. Hotel next to my office so left him sleeping and will work 6-10, go back for some more carnal escapades and then take him to the bus stop.

    You'd be surprised how much people who love you will accept from you.

    Even my boss at NYS knows I'm crazy submissive kinky and horny but he adores me.

    Smiling. Anyone in capital area of NYS ever want to connect, I'm game. Jackie

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    1. Hi Jackie, we're practically neighbors! I am so jealous that you are able to live a life that doesn't require you to hide a part of yourself. I'm not very comfortable with that and it's probably why the fact that I write this blog slipped out. Being a part of this community and being able to explore and express myself here has become a big part of my life, I just wish I didn't have to hide it. Maybe someday I won't.

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  18. I have actually met three bloggers besides my girl and they were all positive experiences.It's good to be able to talk to someone who understands the lifestyle. One of the three isn't kinky but she is fine that I am. Unfortunately, one of the three has left the blogging world and no longer emails. I felt I knew all three fairly well before we met because of their blogs and the fact we emailed. In all three cases, it was like meeting an old friend. I actually was in Faerie's area once but she had a prior commitment so I didn't get a chance to meet her.

    I haven't told anyone who isn't in the blogging world that I have a blog.

    FD

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    1. I do wish we had been able to work out a meeting when you were up this way, I would love to meet some fellow bloggers. I too think it would be like meeting old friends, friends I didn't have to hide a big part of myself from. I think that is a big reason I slipped, I don't like having to pretend that I'm something I'm not, it makes me uncomfortable and flies in the face of how I try to live my life.

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  19. I am so glad that I found your blog Faerie! It's wonderful. This topic is an interesting one if for no other reason than the permanence of a decision to reveal. Less than a year ago, Mistress K.'s BFF was told everything about our FLM. This friend was talking to Mistress K. and was commenting on some things about her marriage that were becoming tedious. Mistress K. felt that the solution may very well be an introduction into the wonderful world of FLM.

    During that conversation, she abruptly told her friend that she need to go but wanted to call her back in "2 minutes". She needed that much time to ask me it if was ok to talk about, and therefore reveal our relationship to her friend. I said yes.

    Mistress called her friend back and told her everything! Her friend was all ears, and was eager to hear more because she loved her husband very much and this all made sense to her. After a few nice, long conversations with Mistress K., her friend was encouraged to call me to get the sub hub's point of view. That's when I revealed that I had a blog, and that the blog was a VERY graphic account of our new life together. I told her I wouldn't reveal the name to her unless Mistress said it was ok and if she felt very strongly about wanting to read it. Mistress K. was thinking about how she felt about it when her friend decided that she didn't want to know the identity of the site because, at least for now, it would be TMI.

    Other than that, there is absolutely nobody else that knows.

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