- a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
- admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Respect is a word, a concept, that most of us in this lifestyle are very familiar with. It's a word we think about, talk about and for some of us, struggle with. We are to respect our HOH/Dom/Master. We are required to show respect in all our interactions, no matter what the situation is. We are required to respect and obey any and all rules set down by our HOH's. Heck, the word respect even appears in most traditional wedding vows, along with the word obey.
We had traditional wedding vows. I vowed to love, honor, respect and obey my husband. In addition, Musicman made it very clear to me from the beginning, how important it was to him, that I show him in action and in word, respect for him. I took my vows and his directions very seriously. I do my best to respect his wishes at all times. I'm not perfect, I don't always succeed, but I do try.
In exchange, I expect him to also respect me. I would say, for the most part, he does. However, a situation has arisen that has left me seriously doubting that fact. A situation that has been dragging on for weeks now and I no longer have any idea how to fix. I want to move past it, but I can't, no matter how hard I try.
Of course, the situation involves our adult children. They have both been struggling with some serious life issues. They both moved back in with us for a few months so that they could get their lives together and get back on their feet. That was a year ago. Neither one of them seem to be making much progress.
They do not ever listen to me or any advice I give them, so I've stopped trying. I've accepted that, along with the fact that it will be some time before they ever leave. Really, I don't blame them, they have it very good here. They live their lives the way they want and they do it on my dime. Who wouldn't want that?
The real problem is that they show me and my home absolutely no respect. They have told me that everything in their lives would be fine if it weren't for me. They have told me that everyone in the house would be quite happy if I would just leave. Yes, they are actively blaming me for their bad choices and the predicaments they have gotten themselves into. Clearly they still have quite a bit of growing up to do.
I know that children often blame the mother for everything that is wrong in their lives. I'm the mother, they blame me. Okay, that I can handle, whilst always praying that one day they will take responsibility for their lives and their decisions. I don't hold my breath waiting for that day to come, but I still pray for it everyday.
The crux of the issue for me, the thing I can't move past is the fact that they believe their father, my husband, my beloved Musicman, feels the same as they do. I know this because they have told me this. That is what really hurts. That is what I can't move past.
I did talk to Musicman about this. He assured me it wasn't true. He assured me he would speak to them about this. After of week of no action, I reminded him of what he had promised. He did speak to our son, but he did not hit the main point, in my opinion.
I know that he can not force these kids to see reality. I know he can not force them to listen to me or to show me respect. Well, technically, he could, but he he's never going to do that. I accept that, that wasn't the main point for me. The main point for me, is that he make it clear to them, in no uncertain terms, that they are wrong.
It is very important to me, that my children truly know and understand, that Musicman does respect me and what I contribute to this family. Maybe it should be enough for me that he does respect me, but it's just not. Knowing that my children believe that their father does not respect me is a pain that I can't get past. He could fix this for me, but he hasn't. Before any of you suggest that I can fix it, I've tried, they don't listen to me or believe anything I say.
The fact that Musicman does not see how important this issue is to me has caused me to lose some respect for him. That bothers me quite a bit and I don't know what to do about it. I just know I can't be submissive or obedient to a man I can't respect and I can't respect a man who will not stand up for me.