Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Amazed and Not at all Confused.

He says he's amazed. Amazed at the things I let him do to me. I didn't ask him to clarify, but I'm hoping he is amazed in a good way.

I admit to being amazed at the things he does to me. I admit to being amazed at the things he wants to do to me that I haven't quite been able to do yet, also.

I never really thought we were vanilla, but I also never really thought of us as kinky either. I suppose that is because I never really thought all that much about any of it, until I did start thinking about it, a lot.

Oh, there were the occasional conversations over the years. The ones where I would question if something I might want to try was just too weird to even mention. He always assured me there was nothing odd about it. In fact, he would always say, "it's just what we do".  With reassurance like that, it's no wonder I never thought I was the kinky sort.

Now, two years into TTWD, I no longer think of myself as vanilla, I'm definitely not. I am however, still quite amazed at the things we do and how they make me feel. I'm amazed that he can take my mind places so wonderful I never want to come back. I'm amazed that he can elicit every last ounce of response from my body and then take more, pushing me higher than I ever could have imagined I could go.

I'm amazed how much I crave the residual pain that comes with the things we do. In the moment, it is the pain that invokes the pleasure that sets me free. But, the residual pain that sometimes lasts for days is frosting on the cake for me. It's a delicious secret I carry with me throughout my day, often bringing back the memories of the moment, along with a smile, that no one knows the cause of.

While our relationship has always been close and the sex has always been great, I continue to be amazed at how much more there is for us to explore. I'm amazed that this amazing man is so willing to explore with me. I'm really amazed that after all these years he still finds me amazing too.

I'm a very lucky lady to have such an amazing life and such an amazing man, whose always willing to help me not only reach for the stars, but to soar among them.





15 comments:

  1. The wonderful part is that you both recognize just how special your relationship is and will continue to be.

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    1. We have way too many examples of less than great relationships all around us, so while it's a bit egotistical to say, I've always known how special ours is.

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  2. This post made me smile for you. Keep soaring.
    Hugs DF

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    1. It's nice for me to be able to smile again and if I have my way, I will never stop soaring :)

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  3. Love this post.
    I happen to think He is quite lucky too!!
    :)

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    1. Awwww...thanks. I'm not so sure he always feels that way, but I think he does most of the time :)

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  4. This is a wonderful post; for me it is because all you wrote are thoughts I have had myself. Dave has told me he is in awe of me, the trust I have in him, what I give him. I am amazed by him, and for many of the same reasons you wrote. Life is amazing, it is even better when we see is and hold onto it for what it is; there are many people who don't and this is sad. Thank you, Faerie, for a beautiful post.

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    1. It is sad that so many people don't work towards an amazing relationship or even recognize when they have one. Those are the kind of people I no longer let into my life.

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  5. I loved reading this! Great explorations!

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    1. Thanks, it was nice to finally be able to write an upbeat, positive post.

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  6. Beautiful.

    It took me a long while to accept and embrace what i like and who i am.....and that he loves this about me, that he encourages me, inspires me to be all that i am.

    x

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    1. It does seem to be so much easier to accept and embrace when we have men in our lives who already do that for us, don'tcha think?

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  7. It is an amazing feeling when two people can be totally open to each other, and take each other to places one never imagined. I loved reading this.
    hugs abby

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    1. I loved writing it too. I wish everyone could have this kind of love, openness and acceptance in their lives. It's such a wonderful way to live.

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  8. My heart is happy for you. I am smiling. May you both always find the amazement in each other. :-) Hugs, terpsichore

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