Amazed and Not at all Confused.

He says he's amazed. Amazed at the things I let him do to me. I didn't ask him to clarify, but I'm hoping he is amazed in a good way.

I admit to being amazed at the things he does to me. I admit to being amazed at the things he wants to do to me that I haven't quite been able to do yet, also.

I never really thought we were vanilla, but I also never really thought of us as kinky either. I suppose that is because I never really thought all that much about any of it, until I did start thinking about it, a lot.

Oh, there were the occasional conversations over the years. The ones where I would question if something I might want to try was just too weird to even mention. He always assured me there was nothing odd about it. In fact, he would always say, "it's just what we do".  With reassurance like that, it's no wonder I never thought I was the kinky sort.

Now, two years into TTWD, I no longer think of myself as vanilla, I'm definitely not. I am however, still quite amazed at the things we do and how they make me feel. I'm amazed that he can take my mind places so wonderful I never want to come back. I'm amazed that he can elicit every last ounce of response from my body and then take more, pushing me higher than I ever could have imagined I could go.

I'm amazed how much I crave the residual pain that comes with the things we do. In the moment, it is the pain that invokes the pleasure that sets me free. But, the residual pain that sometimes lasts for days is frosting on the cake for me. It's a delicious secret I carry with me throughout my day, often bringing back the memories of the moment, along with a smile, that no one knows the cause of.

While our relationship has always been close and the sex has always been great, I continue to be amazed at how much more there is for us to explore. I'm amazed that this amazing man is so willing to explore with me. I'm really amazed that after all these years he still finds me amazing too.

I'm a very lucky lady to have such an amazing life and such an amazing man, whose always willing to help me not only reach for the stars, but to soar among them.