Tuesday, February 4, 2014
When You Choose To Love
This really speaks to me. I've always felt I was damaged. I spent quite bit of my early years knowing that I had no concept of what love really felt like. I often wondered if I would ever feel real love, if I would ever be able to trust anyone enough to let them see me vulnerable.
Musicman didn't know I was damaged when we met. He just loved me. I didn't believe him at first, after all, he didn't know how damaged I was. It didn't matter to him, he loved me anyway. He taught me everything I know about how to love and how to trust. That's how strong he is.
He is strong enough to stop the bleeding and help me scar over. He will tell you, that is not a one time thing. Scars sometimes erupt and bleed again, that certainly seems to be the case with me. Those eruptions often cause me to feel guilty. Guilty because this is not what he signed up for. That doesn't matter to him though, he loves me anyway, and he is strong enough to accept me dents, cracks and all.
Above all else, I'm a survivor, but I no longer wonder if someone like him can love me. I know he does, and I will always be his strongest ally in this world. We will face the changes together and we will survive, stronger, wiser and more in love each and every day. To me that is a true gift.