Spring Time...and a Young Girl's Thoughts Turn To Fantasies

Okay, so I'm not really a young girl anymore, but I feel like one most of the time. The fantasy my thoughts have turned to aren't mine either. They are Musicman's.

When I first proposed a D/s lifestyle to him, I only considered fulfilling my own fantasies. Selfish and stupid of me, I know, but that's me. It wasn't that I had a problem with him fulfilling his, I just didn't think much about that, until he started sharing them with me.

There is one that he has shared with me in great detail. That fact tells me that he has thought quite a bit about it. It is one that, until now, has been a hard limit for me. I just couldn't do what he wanted, but, as with most couples, we continue to grow together and challenge our limits.

This particular fantasy of his takes place outside, by our pool. I wasn't able to fulfill this particular fantasy of his last summer. I just wasn't ready and he understood that. Fall and winter put that fantasy on hold, way to cold to even consider doing what he would like.

Spring has finally sprung here where we live. Actually, we kinda skipped spring and after an extended winter have gone straight to summer. It will very soon be time to start work on getting the pool open again. I love to play pool boy and work on it. It's hard physical labor, but I don't mind, because it gives me a reason to turn the music up loud and play in the sunshine.

As I have thought about getting started on opening the pool, his fantasy, as he described it to me, has come to mind. I know exactly what he wants me to wear. Check, I have those items in my wardrobe. I don't remember all the details, but I picture myself kneeling before him. I hear him instructing me on what he wants, directing me, ordering me. That makes me all hot and tingly.

I hear barriers falling and comfort zones being expanded. I can't stop contemplating what he shared with me almost a year ago. I think it's time. Time to explore a bit of the things that make tremble with what I would previously have described as dread. I no longer dread what he has proposed, I long for it. Dang man, how does he do that to me?

Confusion a Catalyst for Change

Sex is a funny thing, it can involve our deepest emotions or no emotions at all. It has the power to devastate and wound, or to build trust and enable growth. My earliest experiences devastated and wounded me. My recent experiences have built trust and provided me opportunities for growth.

Dominance and submission can be a part of sex or nothing at all to do with it. It's been a mix for me. D/s outside the bedroom has been an integral part of my relationship for my entire relationship, it just works for us. Introducing D/s into the bedroom has been a way for us to explore ourselves and each other.

It's opened doors I never even thought to stand in front of, much less go through. Contemplating a threesome is just one of those doors that D/s has brought me too. It's open and we are standing at that threshold together. I find that awesome and comforting all at the same time.

If we should choose to take a step forward, it will be done together. It is something I would likely do to please him. To fulfill his fantasies, if that's what he really wants. It's not something I ever worry about him forcing me into in any way.  That's not what D/s is about for us, it's about freedom.

I've found freedom in D/s, it's a dynamic that feels natural and normal for me. It represents a side of myself that for one reason or another I often suppressed. I no longer have any reason to do that and I'm loving it. Not only do I get to be more authentically me, but so does he. I know he has suppressed some of his naturally dominant inclinations in the past and I know much of that is because of me. He no longer has any reason to do that.

I sometimes find the things he proposes confusing, but confusion in this instance isn't necessarily a bad thing. In this instance it is a catalyst for growth, never a bad thing.  I do tend to be an over thinker, and this topic has been no exception. I'm just grateful I have some place to come and work through the confusion.

I have no idea where this fantasy of his will take us, he may not know for sure either. That's okay, it's something we will figure out together to both of our satisfaction. At this point, we are at the very beginning of that road and aren't in any hurry to traverse it.  We're going to take our time, maybe some side trips to check out the scenery, or points of interest. The journey really is more fun then the destination and we travel well together.