Salvaging and Rebuilding

I'm quickly getting to the 11 month mark of my injury and 6 months since the diagnosis of the degenerative condition in my spine.  Most of that time has been spent negotiating the labyrinth that is our healthcare and insurance system.

My shoulder isn't even close to being healed, the Dr said, " it's going to take a long, long, long time to heal."  The possibility of surgery at some point is still on the table.  The fact that I will most likely never regain full functional use of it is a sad reality, but one I'm beginning to accept.  As for my spinal condition, at some point surgeries, yes, multiple, will be needed.  I'm not even considering doing that yet.  I manage the pain, though I never have a pain free day.

I won't go into the boring details of how all the benefits worked out. Let's just say some were good, some were not so good, and some have yet to be decided.  There's nothing left for me to do now but wait.

This leaves us in somewhat of a precarious position and unfortunately causes Musicman a lot of stress.  That makes me feel sad and sometimes guilty.  Though I know I have no reason to feel guilty.  I'm working on letting that go.

It leaves me in a position of having to salvage what I can and rebuild what I can't. So that's what I'm attempting to do.  It's slow going.  I have a bad habit of over doing things on my good days, that often triggers the bad days.  But I am beginning to see where I want us to go as a couple and what I can do to get us there.  I've accepted the fact that it's going to be a long, slow road, but, I'm claiming that as a win.