Wednesday, November 6, 2013
At a Loss
Musicman and I have always had a unique connection. Primarily, a sexual connection.
Sex has always been a major, front and center, part of my life. It's not always been a positive thing in my life, but it's always been present. I worked hard to turn sex from a dark, abusive event into a beautiful, uplifting presence in my life.
I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. But, I persevered and I did find him. We've spent almost 3 decades together. Throughout those decades, we've always communicated best, through sex.
It's just who we are, what we do. There has never been a time when we lived like distant roommates. Coming together, a few moments of passion, that's how we communicate, that's how understand each other. That's what makes life worth living for us.
Now? Well...now it's not happening so much. Just once a week. Almost no D/s involved. That makes me sad. Definitely no spanking occurring. That makes me even sadder.
It's not working so well for me. I don't think it works very well for Musicman either. I want to fix this issue between us. I'm not sure how. We seem so far apart. I try, but I can't seem to bridge the gap.
All I really know, is that I will continue to try. I want him back. I want to connect in that special way that only we can. But, I'm at a loss as to how I can make that happen.