Happy

Things are going well. I almost don't want to share.

We had our first post surgical checkup, things went well.
It looks like he will be back to work in 3-4 weeks. I don't want him to go.

I want to live in fantasy land. I worked so hard to get here.

What we have been through is not exactly a fantasy, but I take advantage where I can.

We were in the office, the nurse was taking his history, she turned to me and asked," Is this what you signed up for?"

No!

This is not what I signed up for. But he didn't exactly get what he signed up for either. He loves me anyway.

I have had a few aha moments. Still thinking on those.

You would think that would be a good thing. Sometimes you just realize how much circumstances have held you back.

I hate circumstances. They kinda piss me off. I want to be stronger than the circumstances.

He understands me so much better than I understand myself.  He makes things so much simpler, easier. He accepts when I question.

He gives me exactly what I need.

I don't know how he does that, I'm so not good at articulating what I need. But he gets me. He gives me exactly what I need, even when I haven't conceived what that is. He accepts me, when I feel like I can't accept myself.

I already know that I'm gonna crash soooo hard when he  leaves me. I know he needs to go back to work. I know what that means to him. It's important to him that he provide for me. That's one of the things I love so much about him. No one has ever cared about me this much. It's so awesome, these many years later, things are just getting better.

I'm gonna miss getting spanked every day.

While he is gone, I'll bake cookies, I'll clean, I'll watch for him to come home. I'll kiss his neck, he'll swat my butt, we'll be happy.

That is my wish for you.