Submission and Feminism

Submission seems to be in the news quite a bit lately. Gabby Reece has been taking a lot of heat for writing in her book that she is submissive to her husband. Carrie Underwood has taken some too. She said in a recent interview that if her husband asked her to give up her career she would.

People, women especially, have been lashing out at these ladies because they were brave enough to voice their personal beliefs. Neither of these women have said they are advising other women to do this. They are saying this is how they feel and what they choose.

I ask the following question: isn't that what feminism and women's rights are all about? Isn't it about my right to choose how I live my life?

I am a submissive wife. I have been for almost three decades. I willing tell you, my Mother is appalled by this, despite the fact that she loves my husband and sees how happy I am. I understand that reaction from her, because she didn't have a choice. It was very important to her that I understood that I had a choice.

I listened, I learned, I understood. I exercised my right to choose. I chose to be submissive because that is what works for me. At the time, I didn't realize that submission was what I was choosing. In my mind, I was choosing a relationship with mutual respect and open communication.  A relationship that played to each of our individual strengths. A relationship that is strong because we recognize that equality is not the most important thing.

I don't want to be equal to my husband. I am not a man and I don't want to be equated as one. In many areas, I am stronger then he is. I am an alpha female. I don't deny that and neither does he. We both benefit from that. He is a dominant male. He is strong in ways that I am not, nor do I wish to be. We both benefit from that.

This is what I chose, this is what works for me. I would never advise any other women to pursue this against their will. I have an adult daughter. She tells me she wants a man like her Dad. I encourage that, but I never use the word submission, it still carries too much of a negative connotation to be willingly accepted.