Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Salvaging and Rebuilding

I'm quickly getting to the 11 month mark of my injury and 6 months since the diagnosis of the degenerative condition in my spine.  Most of that time has been spent negotiating the labyrinth that is our healthcare and insurance system.

My shoulder isn't even close to being healed, the Dr said, " it's going to take a long, long, long time to heal."  The possibility of surgery at some point is still on the table.  The fact that I will most likely never regain full functional use of it is a sad reality, but one I'm beginning to accept.  As for my spinal condition, at some point surgeries, yes, multiple, will be needed.  I'm not even considering doing that yet.  I manage the pain, though I never have a pain free day.

I won't go into the boring details of how all the benefits worked out. Let's just say some were good, some were not so good, and some have yet to be decided.  There's nothing left for me to do now but wait.

This leaves us in somewhat of a precarious position and unfortunately causes Musicman a lot of stress.  That makes me feel sad and sometimes guilty.  Though I know I have no reason to feel guilty.  I'm working on letting that go.

It leaves me in a position of having to salvage what I can and rebuild what I can't. So that's what I'm attempting to do.  It's slow going.  I have a bad habit of over doing things on my good days, that often triggers the bad days.  But I am beginning to see where I want us to go as a couple and what I can do to get us there.  I've accepted the fact that it's going to be a long, slow road, but, I'm claiming that as a win.




12 comments:

  1. Having a clear vision and how to get there is a BIG win. Added you to my prayer list...that is a lot to deal with...hugs abby

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    1. Thank you abby, the prayers are much appreciated 😇. At this point I'll take any win, big or small, cause I have a long way to go to get where I'd like to be.

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  2. Gosh Faerie, that is a lot to deal with, sending positive thoughts and prayers and lots of (((hugs))). I agree with Abby, it's great that you have a vision going forward.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz, the support in this community is awesome and exactly what I need right now 💖

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  3. Sorry to hear all this Faerie. I too have a generative spinal condition and a bad shoulder. Maybe we can exchange ideas. Sending you positive healing vibes and praying for you.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Same to you Lindy, this getting older stuff isn't easy hunh? I'd be more than happy to exchange idea's on how to work around the physical challenges we're dealing with.

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  4. One day, one step at a time is what life is about, as long as we keep moving forward.

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    1. I totally agree, though it feels like I've been going ÃŽn circles for the last few months. It feels good to be out of that loop.

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  5. Great to see you blogging again and just want to wish you the best and good luck as you deal with everythig life has thrown at you and Musicman. It's an old cliche but sometimes it is the darkest before the dawn.

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  6. FD: so nice to hear from you. You are so right about it being darkest before the storm. I don't know that I can resurrect what we once had but I'm trying

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  7. well it sounds like you've got it covered. slowly, one step at a time, and dealing and managing seems to be all we can do - but it will get better, and if it doesn't, we'll be stronger.

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    1. I'm not sure I'd say I have it covered, but feeling a bit more positive about what I need to do. It may improve things or it may not. Only time will tell.

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