Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Will You Celebrate?

I've read around the web that May is International Masturbation Month. According to Wikipedia it started in 1995 as a way to protect every one's right to masturbate. The article stated that 90% of men and 65% of women masturbate, though there is still a social stigma about masturbation being a negative thing.

I'm aware from reading here in blogland that some subs are not allowed to masturbate unless they are granted permission from their Dom. I suppose for those of you who have that rule you will have to ask permission if you intend to celebrate this activity this month.

I have no such restrictions and really have no need for it as I don't enjoy masturbating. It's not that I can't achieve orgasm by my own hand, I can. I know, cause I did try for awhile to learn to like it. I did that because watching me masturbate is something Musicman enjoys. I even went as far as making him a short video of me doing it and sent it to him.

I never have developed a fondness for it and unless he forces me, I won't do it, even if he asks. I did however wonder why I find it so distasteful. At first I thought maybe it was that old, "good girls don't" thing that held me back. Nope, that's not it.

I discovered, while I was trying to learn to enjoy it, that even though I can achieve orgasm, I find it more frustrating than it's worth. The thing I find so frustrating is that it is just a physical release and that's not what I am looking for from sex.

Before I met Musicman I had been intimate with more than my fair share of men. Some were good, some weren't, none were great, it was just a physical thing. The difference between them and Musicman, I have a soul connection with him that I didn't have with anyone else.

Sex is not just a physical thing with him, it is a connection of energy. An intertwining of soul's. I really wish I had the words to explain that it is so much more than a physical release. Yes, it happens because of the physical things we engage in, but it isn't just a physical reaction, it is so much more.

It is two soul's, recognizing each other, sharing and intermingling, dancing together and splitting apart, only to come back together as one. It is the most fulfilling and satisfying thing I have experienced and it's not something I can replicate on my own. That's probably a good thing for him, cause if I could, I wouldn't need him.

Maybe some of you will ask permission to celebrate this month. Maybe I will try to remember that watching me is something he enjoys and find the courage to give it a try. Or maybe not, cause I still don't find any satisfaction, other than the physical, in masturbating and that's not what I'm looking for.

It just occurred to me that there is another alternative. Maybe, he will be in the mood to celebrate and will remember that he has tools at his disposal to encourage me to do those things I don't usually care to do. He knows how, he just doesn't very often, despite the fact that I have consented to it.



  1. Im not even allowed to ask, if he wants me to, he will tell me and its always under his direction....what i like about it is simply that it turns him on watching me, which i used to find embarrassing (silly i know!).


    1. I don't think that's silly, I feel the same way. I like knowing it turns him on, but still struggle with the embarrassment of it. Maybe someday that will get better.

  2. Hey Faerie...If Matthew were still alive, that would be a different matter but he's not so it's strictly self-serve around here.

    Hope you just enjoy your Musicman. ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. Cat, I hope someday you find someone comparable to your Matthew. You certainly deserve it.

  3. Hi Fearie, I don't have to ask for permission but I agree, sex is more than the physical release.


    1. I'm glad you understood what I was trying to convey. It just doesn't do much for me, so why bother?

  4. Hi Faerie, usually I wouldn’t go for the pure physical thing, though at the moment my sex-drive is pretty high, so that I could enjoy masturbating. But hubby would only let me do that with him present, and when he is there, we definitely end up doing the real thing, and sex is surely more than just the physical part. Without the intimate connection and opening up, it is not really that interesting and can leave this feeling of something missing.



    1. That feeling of something missing is the main reason why I don't enjoy it. When I do manage to do it with Musicman, cause he likes it, it usually leads to more for us also. I think you should get special dispensation right now, all pregnant ladies should :)

  5. "Sex is not just a physical thing with him, it is a connection of energy. An intertwining of soul's" This is beautiful and so true. This is what I mean when I share about my need for intimacy - because it is so much more than the physical release of sex - it is the connection. That being said I will engage in pure physical release on my own when a long time has passed and I need to relax. Not often, but from time to time. Though it does not help my craving for intimacy.