I've read around the web that May is International Masturbation Month. According to Wikipedia it started in 1995 as a way to protect every one's right to masturbate. The article stated that 90% of men and 65% of women masturbate, though there is still a social stigma about masturbation being a negative thing.
I'm aware from reading here in blogland that some subs are not allowed to masturbate unless they are granted permission from their Dom. I suppose for those of you who have that rule you will have to ask permission if you intend to celebrate this activity this month.
I have no such restrictions and really have no need for it as I don't enjoy masturbating. It's not that I can't achieve orgasm by my own hand, I can. I know, cause I did try for awhile to learn to like it. I did that because watching me masturbate is something Musicman enjoys. I even went as far as making him a short video of me doing it and sent it to him.
I never have developed a fondness for it and unless he forces me, I won't do it, even if he asks. I did however wonder why I find it so distasteful. At first I thought maybe it was that old, "good girls don't" thing that held me back. Nope, that's not it.
I discovered, while I was trying to learn to enjoy it, that even though I can achieve orgasm, I find it more frustrating than it's worth. The thing I find so frustrating is that it is just a physical release and that's not what I am looking for from sex.
Before I met Musicman I had been intimate with more than my fair share of men. Some were good, some weren't, none were great, it was just a physical thing. The difference between them and Musicman, I have a soul connection with him that I didn't have with anyone else.
Sex is not just a physical thing with him, it is a connection of energy. An intertwining of soul's. I really wish I had the words to explain that it is so much more than a physical release. Yes, it happens because of the physical things we engage in, but it isn't just a physical reaction, it is so much more.
It is two soul's, recognizing each other, sharing and intermingling, dancing together and splitting apart, only to come back together as one. It is the most fulfilling and satisfying thing I have experienced and it's not something I can replicate on my own. That's probably a good thing for him, cause if I could, I wouldn't need him.
Maybe some of you will ask permission to celebrate this month. Maybe I will try to remember that watching me is something he enjoys and find the courage to give it a try. Or maybe not, cause I still don't find any satisfaction, other than the physical, in masturbating and that's not what I'm looking for.
It just occurred to me that there is another alternative. Maybe, he will be in the mood to celebrate and will remember that he has tools at his disposal to encourage me to do those things I don't usually care to do. He knows how, he just doesn't very often, despite the fact that I have consented to it.