I'm just popping in to say I miss ya'll so much and I have a confession to make.
When I left here a little over a month ago, I did it because I was dealing with some stuff that had nothing to do with us or our lifestyle. I needed to focus on that and face it head on in order to be able to succeed. I had to take charge and I couldn't do that and still indulge my submissive side, so I left.
Unfortunately, it seems I have become addicted to writing. This blog helped me work out so many things, but I didn't want to pollute it with the mundane stuff I needed to deal with. So, I write another blog, the focus of that blog is not my relationship or our lifestyle. It's just me pouring out the day to day frustrations of being a woman in today's world. Boring stuff really.
Some days, most days to be honest, the stuff I write there is dark and cynical. The blog was open for people to read, but until recently I never shared it with anyone. I didn't even tell Musicman. I do have readers, but no one comments. That never bothered me any, cause it really was just a place for me to dump my thoughts so they didn't swirl around in my head.
I have written more and more recently about my desire to come back here and to be faerie again. She never went away entirely. I have always felt her hiding around the corner in my mind, but I haven't let her have her voice. I have been trying to decide whether to share it or not, or whether it might be time for me to come back here. I thought I had decided how to handle it. I thought that maybe soon I would feel like it was safe to give faerie her voice back.
Um, something happened that has kinda forced my hand. Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts has her new blog addition out. Don't we all love when she makes those posts so we can find new friends? I know I do. I never thought that she would find my other blog or that it would appear in her new blog addition, but it has.
I am Lolita Lilyflower and I write Lolita Lilyflower's Letter from a Crazy Lady. To me, that blog is an entirely different voice, a dark, cynical voice that lays everything on the line. It wasn't that I didn't want to share those things, but those things were never the focus or the intent of this blog. I doubt most of what I write there is of any interest to most in this lovely community.
I still haven't made any decisions about what to do with either blog yet. Suggestions are appreciated.