Life Changing Events

I've been having some trouble focusing lately. My writing, among other things has been suffering because of it. Why am I having trouble focusing? Well, that's rather easy to explain, stress. We all have stress, so why does it feel like I am no longer handling it at all well? Hmmm....

When I really stop and think about it, I'm not really handling it all that badly. I am currently experiencing and attempting to deal with, no less then three life changing events. One is usually enough to lay people low, that's why they are called life changing events. Those three things do not include the minor things that are occurring either, which just compound the amount of stress I have been experiencing.

No wonder I can't seem to focus, it's too much stimulus for me. I'm surprised I am not a blithering idiot 24/7. Yesterday, I was a blithering idiot. I guess you could say it was the straw that broke the camel's back kinda day.

Musicman is so tuned in to me that he has been asking me all week if I'm okay. He says I've been too quiet. That's what happens when I get lost in my own head, swimming among the stress. I'm well aware that he is also dealing with a large amount of stress and I do not want to add to it. I keep telling him I'm okay and for the most part that's true, until yesterday.

I had been doing pretty well keeping the anxiety about the job situation under control. I'm actively practicing patience. As my daughter's pregnancy progresses, I work harder not to stress about her less than ideal situation. There just isn't much I can do about it right now. We've been dealing with a rather critical home repair that is not going at all well. There isn't much I can do about that either, except be as supportive and helpful to Musicman as I possibly can. Which in general means, staying out of his way. He's doing his best to get the situation corrected, but in the mean time I see more and more damage being done to my home. Well, I'll deal with that after we get the initial problem fixed.

See, I really am handling it all very well. So what happened yesterday that reduced me to tears? My brother has had a set back and has been re-hospitalized. He's bleeding internally and despite the fact that he has had several rounds of chemo, it seems the tumor is growing, not shrinking. I'm frustrated because he is so far away that there is not much I can do but pray. I don't want to believe it, but I very much fear he is coming close to the end of his journey and I am not ready for that.

Yesterday Musicman didn't ask if I was okay, he didn't need to, he knew I wasn't. Instead, he employed some stress relief techniques like only he can. I had gone in to use the bathroom and change into my night clothes, which is just an oversized men's tank, it barely covers the naughty bits.

He was waiting for me when I came back into the bedroom. He didn't say a word, just turned me toward the lounge and bent me over. A wonderful all over body tingle was the result of a well wielded flogger. Musicman doesn't usually use more than one implement when we play, but he knew I needed more then just the flogger. I needed intense and intense is what I got. The magic paddle flew fast and furious, the blows fell so quickly all I could do was breathe. He kept up that rhythm until I could no longer stand up. I do believe he might have been in danger of being scorched from the heat radiating off my backside and thighs.

I was most definitely in that headspace where I will do anything he asks of me, and I did, several times. A little later, after I had come back to myself, he was ready to go again. I was teasing him, asking why I should do what he had told me to do. His response, "because you are my faerie and you do what I tell you to."  Oh yeah, that's right.

Needless to say, I slept very well last night. Nothing has changed as far the stress in my life, but I'm feeling much better equipped to handle it today.

Just Another Saturday Evening

It's Saturday evening, Musicman has just gotten up from a nap. He needed one, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Can we say "cranky"? A full morning of errands to accomplish was not made easier listening to him complain.

I immediately saw this for what it was, he's tired. He has a right to be tired. He works very hard all week long. I don't necessarily like to be alone anymore. I used to like being alone, until he found me. Now, being with him is the best thing in my world.

I used to resent the fact that he needs more sleep than I do. At some point, I did realize that most normal humans, require more sleep than I do. It's just never been an easy thing for me. What has become easier is letting him have time to sleep. So, I suggested a nap, it's just one of the ways I take care of him.

Anyway... he's awake, we're watching a movie. The pillow makes an appearance on the floor. Oh, yeah...he's gonna rub my shoulder. Yes, it's still giving me fits. This is not the good kind of pain either.

I sit on the pillow at his feet, the sunset is shining in through the window. I haven't seen the sun in so long. It feels so good to close my eyes and absorb the light, feel the relief. Bathed in a halo of light, the transcendence begins.

I'm already a puddle of mush from the massage he's just given me, when he stands to turn off the TV and turn on some music. He turns back toward where I still sit on the floor and drops his pants. I immediately begin to salivate and stretch up to reach the goodies now in front of my face. I open my mouth, like a baby bird waiting to be fed.

He lets me lick and suck for a moment or two, but soon backs away so I can no longer reach him. The loss of him in my mouth is a palpable thing. I morn, I want more, but that is not his plan. He reaches his hands out to help me up from the floor. He pulls me in close for a hug and raises his head for me to place kisses on his neck. Then he spins me around, bends me over and flips my skirt up.

He has the magic paddle in hand, I'm soon yelping and gasping for breath. The man does not know the meaning of the word, "warm up." Ironically, it seems all too soon, he's done, but is he really? No, the glass dildo makes an appearance, not that I actually see it mind you. I certainly feel it.

It still amazes me the things he can make me do, just by getting me into that headspace. That headspace where, all is right in my world and the only thing I must do, is what he commands. After, when I think about it rationally, that headspace seems scary, cause I really would do whatever he tells me to do.

At the time, I never question, I trust him completely and do as I'm told. It's so freeing not to have to think, or worry, just listen and obey. Not obeying, is never an option for me, and it never will be. He knows my body so well, he wrings every last orgasm from me that is possible, but he doesn't stop there. He pushes, and pushes and pushes until I give him more.

He finally decides I've had enough, I think I've had way more than enough. Believe me when I say, that is just an observation, not a complaint. With legs of jelly, I sink to the floor, kneeling on the pillow that still lays there. He sits in front of me and offers himself to me. I lunge greedily, I want him in my mouth so much I can already taste him.

"Hands only", he says, eliciting a strangled moan from me, followed quickly by a softly whispered, "yes Sir". I seriously hate it when he doesn't let me have free reign, but I obey. I obey because that is the beauty of submission, that is the control I crave so much. Grasping him firmly in my hands I begin to slowly stroke his length. I hungrily gaze at his engorged member, hoping he will soon give me permission for more.

He does not, instead he directs me to lick his balls. Oh, "yes Sir," again escapes my lips as I start in, tracing the veins and folds and ripples that now feel so heavenly beneath my tongue. I want more, but that is not yet allowed. I know this because his hand buried in my hair is pulling me away.

I raise up into a tall kneel and push my girls together around him. My girls never really grew up all the way and this is not an easy thing for me, but he likes it when I try. He likes the visual it creates. His gorgeous cock, pushing up between my soft flesh, my tongue flicking out to meet the tip on every upstroke he makes.

I'm now in an agony of need, I want to plunge my mouth down his length, take him all in and feel him pushing past the back of my throat. He lets me, but only for the briefest of time. He's getting close and has another ending in mind.

He grasps my hair again and pulls me away from him. I offer myself to him, pushing, up and out as I lift my head, mouth open to receive his cum as it covers my chest and face. I finish by licking up every last drop.

Oh...What a Week!!

Oh my goodness, the week from hell has finally ended. There were times I thought it would never end. I knew it was gonna be a challenge with working so many hours, I just didn't figure on all the other crap happening. The death in the family, the anniversary of another death in the family and the anniversary of 9/11, all before mid week. No time to write anything at all, or visit with all of you, left me struggling by Wednesday morning. I cheated just a tad and wrote my last post last weekend and waited to publish it.

Wednesday evening brought some sweet relief, in the form of some much needed playtime with the leather paddle.  Wish I could say we crossed another room off our list, but unless I count the master bedroom we didn't. Guess I'll just have to settle for the all over body limpness brought on by multiple mind blowing orgasms. Hey, it works for me.

We fell asleep curled in each others arms, satisfied and grateful to be that much closer to the end of a long week. The feelings of contentment didn't last though. They exploded with the ringing of the phone at slightly past 1:00 a.m. I don't know about anyone else, but when my phone rings at that hour, it's never good news.  It wasn't, and while I'm gonna skip the details, it led to a very long night and no sleep for me before work the next day. Sigh.

Thursday came and went in a blur of sleepiness for both of us. The fact that we both drove our cars to and from work in that condition was probably not the smartest thing we ever did, but, thanks to some alert guardian angels we made it through the day unscathed. At least, I think we did.

Friday found me energized and ready to get it over and done with. I barreled through work with the determination of a woman on a mission. We had a nice quiet evening together that included some time chatting with a blogger friend. She cracked me up repeatedly with her wit and managed to finally wipe the remnants of the last week from my consciousness. Thank you for that my friend.

From the conversation we had, I don't believe play time was on her agenda last night. I didn't think it was on mine either. I thought wrong, apparently it was on his agenda. He didn't say a thing all evening to indicate that it was. We turned in at a decent hour knowing we had a busy day of catching up on home things to be done today.

We had just been discussing Wednesday night the fact that I have come to love the leather paddle. I let him know then, that while I do love it, I miss the magic paddle sometimes. I was all snuggled up under the comforter when he joined me. He stripped that comforter off me and flipped me over so quick my head spun. Since we neither one wear any kind of sleepwear, dealing with clothes was a non issue.

I don't miss the magic paddle any more as that was his weapon of choice last night. And, oh, what a lovely weapon it is. I'm still feeling the effects some today.  Bad week last week you say? What bad week, is what I'm saying.

We still haven't managed to cross another room off our list, but the running tally for the master bedroom currently sits at 5 times to date. The weather has gotten considerably cooler and Musicman mentioned maybe having a fire tonight. I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, maybe we could end the evening crossing off the garage from our list. I really, really wanna play on his motorcycle, which is conveniently parked in the middle of the garage. Here's hoping.