Sunday, January 13, 2013

Look Out Dixie

I've often wondered how we setup this everyday D/s dynamic so early on in our relationship, without me realizing it. After much thinking I did realize that even though it is a D/s dynamic, I never thought of it that way. I thought of it as us learning to communicate well and learning what was important for each of us in this relationship. That is the dynamic we set up and just never really sought to give it a name.

After the events of this weekend, I no longer care how we did it, I'm just glad we did. I'm glad that it's been in place so long that it comes naturally for both of us. It's not something that we need to think about constantly or even put much effort into actively doing anymore. It's just there, and that's very comforting in times of stress.

Musicman finally succumbed to the bug that has plagued him all week, he's sick. So, even though we finally had an empty house, playtime was not on the agenda. I'm a little disappointed, but, more accepting of the fact that it is that way. He offered, but I knew he didn't really have the energy for it. Poor guy is running a fever, all over body aches and many other gross things I won't share with ya'll. No need to gross everyone out.

I also realized that even though a nice long spanking and large amounts of pain would give me some momentary relief, that's all it would be, momentary. I'd take momentary, if he was feeling better. What I really need from him, I'm already getting. Support and love as I struggle with the tears and fears. I'm not afraid to admit that my brother might die, or that I can't quite handle that.

I'm frustrated because there isn't much for me to do right now. My brother lives almost 900 miles away. I've been in almost constant contact, but that's a bit of a double edged sword. He isn't doing well, he's been in extreme amounts of pain and they aren't managing it well. That just inspires me to go kick some Navy doctor butts from here to kingdom come. There's a reason Musicman tells everyone that when it comes to his health, I'm his pitbull, it's cause I am.

I'm not intimidated by doctor's and don't accept what they tell me as gospel. I don't pay any attention to rules or commonly accepted behavior. If my loved one is not getting top notch, quality care, I'm gonna know the reason why. When I know the reason, I'm not gonna accept it. I'm going to insist that they do more and keep doing more until everything humanly possible has been done. If I trample on toes along the way, so be it. If they hadn't stuck them in my way I wouldn't have trampled on them. I am a force to be reckoned with, and the Navy doc's are about to find that out.

Musicman and I had already started making plans to travel, we are just waiting for the word and to finalize plans at our jobs. My sister-in-law is as much of a pitbull about her family as I am and she's doing a great job of fighting for him. I'm giving her advice long distance as she needs and trying hard not to just jump in my car and go. She reached the end of her rope sometime during the night last night and raised enough of a ruckus to get the docs out of bed and too the hospital to do something around 3:00 this morning. He's now on a morphine pump and doing a little better with the pain. She's not left the hospital since he was admitted 3 days ago, and knowing her hasn't consumed anything but coffee. She's stubborn and won't admit she needs help, but she has asked us to come.

Plans aren't firm yet, but most likely I'll be on my way south within just a few short days. Best case scenario is major surgery, we already know that. I want to be there when it occurs. I know what it's like to be all alone at times like that and I want to prevent her form having to experience it. She has all her boys with her, but she's a Mom, she's not gonna break down in front of them or lean on them too heavily. My other brother and sister-in-law will be going at some point too. My sisters-in-law are first cousins too each other. We all 6 get along very well and usually have a great time when we are together.

This will not be party time as usual, but it will be very comforting to have everyone together to hold each other up as we get through this. Look out Dixie, here comes the pitbull.


  1. Please tell Musicman to get well soon and you all take care of eachother. Safe travels and I will keep y'all in my prayers!!

  2. It's a good thing your sister-in-law will have you to lean on and that your brother will have you as an advocate, navigating the medical system can be very intimidating.Have a safe trip. My prayers will be with you.
    Mrs. D

  3. (((faerie))) I am thinking of your brother and your family. My eyes teared reading this. You're brave to face reality and he and his wife are lucky to have you as a pitbull. I hope it turns out okay.

    I also hope that Musicman can shake his bug so that you two can get back to having fun.

  4. All hospital patients need someone..other than medical staff to look our for them...sounds like your brother will get the best there is. I am glad you will all be together...prayers and hugs...

  5. You brother is fortunate that you will be a pitbull in dealing with the doctors. And our prayers are with you and your family.


  6. I'm so sorry about your younger brother. I had not read your last couple of posts until now. I will certainly keep him and all who love him in my prayers. I believe in the power of prayer, because He has proven Himself to me so many times. God bless you and your family, Belle L.

  7. I am so sorry. I am praying for all of you. Be careful on the trip. (((hugs))) to you. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

  8. I think I posted earlier but am not sure if it went through (spotty Internet). But just in case, I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your brother. You are so brave to face reality like that, I know it must be really difficult to do. He is so lucky to have you as his pitbull sister ;)

    I also hope Musicman starts to feel better and that you two can get in some play time soon!

  9. My thoughts are with you and your family, Faerie.



  10. So sorry about your brother. I am sure he will appreciate having two strong women in his corner right now. Safe travels Faerie.

  11. I am glad your brother has a pitbull looking out for his well-being...we all need that sometimes. Thinking of you all and sending healing energy. Have a safe trip. Hugs, Terps

  12. I have absolutely no doubt that you are extremely submissive to your Musicman. I also have absolutely no doubt that I would not want to be on the business end of your bite. We'll be praying for you, darlin', for all of you.