tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post688910421140065651..comments2024-03-04T22:23:29.046-05:00Comments on faerie learns to fly: Opening Pandora's BoxFaerie Wingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10815932181165053031noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-35492596938393003402013-04-29T14:34:42.637-04:002013-04-29T14:34:42.637-04:00It IS frustrating. I actually think it's more...It IS frustrating. I actually think it's more irritating and despairing to revisit our place in the spiral than to be in a new place all together. It feels like we're making NO progress or that we are caught and can't escape. BUT you will. You will heal more and we're here for you!<br /><br />LOVE to you!<br />fionaSirQsmlbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17862547894051224264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-27700814765635374302013-04-28T15:58:55.401-04:002013-04-28T15:58:55.401-04:00Thank you for those beautiful words. They are very...Thank you for those beautiful words. They are very powerful.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-14085959724797412972013-04-28T15:57:56.405-04:002013-04-28T15:57:56.405-04:00From one opinionated bitch to another, thank you. ...From one opinionated bitch to another, thank you. I'm very familiar with the cycle of abuse memory and response, and I couldn't agree more. I have eliminated many triggers over the years through that exact same cycle and the fact that I refuse to give up. This just happens to be a huge trigger for me with very dark, angry responses. It's getting better, slowly, but it is still quite difficult for me to articulate much about it. Musicman reads here so in a way my writing helps him as much as it does me. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-23338695761720521242013-04-28T15:53:34.659-04:002013-04-28T15:53:34.659-04:00Thank you Terpsichore. He reads every post, so bei...Thank you Terpsichore. He reads every post, so being able to get it down in writing not only helps me to clear the confusion, but it lets him know whats going on too. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-2380945802991955782013-04-28T15:52:08.201-04:002013-04-28T15:52:08.201-04:00Yes, you're right, he doesn't like it when...Yes, you're right, he doesn't like it when faerie goes away. The beauty of having this place to write is more then how much it helps me to sort through things, but also the fact that he reads ever post. I haven't really been able to share more then what I have already written, still too confused, but him reading what I have written helped very much.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-28362686917751785522013-04-28T15:49:18.496-04:002013-04-28T15:49:18.496-04:00You are so right about it being an upward spiral. ...You are so right about it being an upward spiral. This is one of those things that has come around so many times that it makes me dizzy. I definitely under estimated my own readiness to takle it proactively, but at least I now know that. <br /><br />The problem with asking Musicman for help is that when I'm stuck in this cycle I lose my ability to communicate effectively in any way. Just being able to write out what I have is a small victory. He reads everything I post and that helps too.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-90604450218733616682013-04-28T15:45:53.065-04:002013-04-28T15:45:53.065-04:00This is how I used to feel about the belt too, and...This is how I used to feel about the belt too, and I did get past it. I think that gave me the courage to tackle this issue, that and the fact that I am very tired of it cropping up all the time. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-35516936631858057462013-04-28T15:43:54.812-04:002013-04-28T15:43:54.812-04:00Thanks for the support and the hugs FD, they help....Thanks for the support and the hugs FD, they help. Having this place to write and untangle all the darkness has helped me immeasurably in dealing with things. This particular trigger has been an going thing for me. I have a long way to go, but it is getting easier.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-69568493105570908552013-04-28T15:41:11.073-04:002013-04-28T15:41:11.073-04:00Sofia is wise, I know the spiral she is talking ab...Sofia is wise, I know the spiral she is talking about. This isn't the first time I've been in this particular place, yet I still can't seem to see past the darkness when I'm there. So frustrating. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-71387907006722342682013-04-28T15:38:12.617-04:002013-04-28T15:38:12.617-04:00It makes total sense, unfortunately, in RL I don&#...It makes total sense, unfortunately, in RL I don't have a friend close enough to talk about these things with. This has been an ongoing issue for me and hard as it may be to believe, it is getting better. Having this place to untangle the thoughts helps immensely.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-17540264789455510642013-04-28T15:35:54.091-04:002013-04-28T15:35:54.091-04:00Musicman does want to help, it's just a matter...Musicman does want to help, it's just a matter of how he can help. This particular trigger takes me so far into a dark place that I can't seem to focus on anything but the negative and I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-47700863977212361972013-04-28T15:33:35.333-04:002013-04-28T15:33:35.333-04:00Thanks Tiffany, I'm doing better. It always pa...Thanks Tiffany, I'm doing better. It always passes with his help, it's just not something I'm able to remember when I'm stuck in the dark.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-66652859273578670022013-04-28T15:32:07.078-04:002013-04-28T15:32:07.078-04:00Thanks for the words of encouragement sunnygirl, I...Thanks for the words of encouragement sunnygirl, I really appreciate them. Asking for help would be much easier if I knew what to ask for, unfortunately the fog that rolls in during these times make that impossible for me. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-7213951169065066382013-04-28T15:30:11.557-04:002013-04-28T15:30:11.557-04:00Don't under estimate the power of friends who ...Don't under estimate the power of friends who are willing to listen, whether they have advice to offer or not. When I go into these spirals, I do not think rationally and often I can't get myself to a better place. It's like being stuck in quicksand in the pitch dark. faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-40022074943104494312013-04-28T15:27:13.913-04:002013-04-28T15:27:13.913-04:00Most of the time I'm okay with being a bit bro...Most of the time I'm okay with being a bit broken. When something triggers me and the darkness descends is when I really resent it. Rational thinking escapes me at those times.faerie wingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09749617812384896845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-80660329342606233222013-04-28T14:42:57.814-04:002013-04-28T14:42:57.814-04:00*Applauds nilla's opinions**Applauds nilla's opinions*Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-74314749799183508912013-04-28T00:15:28.764-04:002013-04-28T00:15:28.764-04:00Surrounding you with light and love as you release...Surrounding you with light and love as you release the broken pieces and stand in your power. You are whole and beautiful and a divine expression.<br />hugs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04842027321593278610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-21936145674224085522013-04-27T22:25:22.512-04:002013-04-27T22:25:22.512-04:00Well--and wow.
you know...i'm kinda talking o...Well--and wow.<br /><br />you know...i'm kinda talking out loud to myself here, so bear with me...but in some ways I think so many of us are "broken"...but that doesn't always mean we need to be fixed. Maybe patched up, dusted off, and get back to it. the way we learn to ride a bike, right? We do okay for a few rolls, but sooner or later we turn too sharply, we wobble, we cant, we fall...it hurts, we want to kick the fucking bike, we HATE the goddamm thing...and then, eventually, we pick it up and have a go at it again (maybe in part because we refuse, REFUSE to let the fucking thing 'win'...?)<br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />this ...cycle...of abuse memory and response? it comes round...triggers, heals a bit more, goes away...triggers...<br /><br />over time?<br /><br />the edge is...blunted?<br />dulled?<br /><br />and eventually many of the triggers ---don't trigger us. <br /><br />accepting that this is part of who you are...a bit broken, but giving you a chance to rebuild a newer, stronger you...knowing and accepting that you'll feel 'broken' again---but may be even better equipped to deal with it.<br /><br />sending hugs and coping energies...and...just my opinion, but you should let MM know. If honesty is the currency we deal with in TTWD? You've got to pay up. (Just my thoughts here, I hope you feel free to tell me to fuck off! I am an opinionated bitch.)<br /><br />Hugs...whammies...strength...and light,<br /><br />nillanillahttp://vanillamom.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-88082641871938097792013-04-27T18:20:08.823-04:002013-04-27T18:20:08.823-04:00I do hope you have shared your feelings with the m...I do hope you have shared your feelings with the man you love. He loves you, all of you. There is no need to hide from him. There is no need to hide from yourself. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I am here. Sending lots of hugs, TerpsichoreTerpsichorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13704408254742966076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-1410470493022145752013-04-27T17:23:03.827-04:002013-04-27T17:23:03.827-04:00I bet Musicman would be very upset that you have t...I bet Musicman would be very upset that you have taken his Faerie away from him. When we love someone we are there through it all. I have never read anything here that would suggest he would get tired of being with you through rough times. Don't take away his power to express his love. You would never let him do that with your love to him!<br /><br />I hope you have shared since you wrote this!Minielle Labraunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16206283897752166320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-28948604044234052582013-04-27T10:27:49.843-04:002013-04-27T10:27:49.843-04:00Moving forward and learning, and healing are an up...Moving forward and learning, and healing are an upward spiral. The issues come around again and again and each time we deal with it in slightly different ways, each time healing a little more. But at times it does seem as if it is coming back in the same manner and the same form, and I know I have times where it feels like it is never ending, but it's not, it is ever changing, slowly, but for the better. A very wise woman recently reminded me of that.<br /><br />Don't hold yourself to standards that you would never hold someone else you love to. Trust Musicman. Don't "save" him from loving you, he has a right to know what is going on. PK has it right. <br /><br />Hugs, lmAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-17987898288469093172013-04-27T09:04:02.293-04:002013-04-27T09:04:02.293-04:00That is how I reacted to the belt. Couldn't h...That is how I reacted to the belt. Couldn't handle it. Dragon won't even revisit the topic anymore. You are not broken, there are just some things you do not like to do. That is ok. If something triggers an extreme reaction like this, skip it. You don't have to do something that hurts you that much.<br /><br />Baby steps and trust your husband. He is there for you. Hugs Dragon's Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17464199139125994128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-66789594279129710572013-04-27T00:29:16.074-04:002013-04-27T00:29:16.074-04:00I would like to give you some cyber hugs. Good luc...I would like to give you some cyber hugs. Good luck in dealing with these issues. The good thing is you said yoy will never give up. And don't feel he deserves someone who isn't broken. We are all broken in some ways and you know he loves you just the way you are. I just hope it helped to share you pain with you cyber friends.<br /><br />FD Florida Domhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08785387941624829985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-60694898809448886862013-04-26T23:23:13.735-04:002013-04-26T23:23:13.735-04:00Oh faerie, I can so relate to you right now. Here...Oh faerie, I can so relate to you right now. Here's the thing, Musicman knows you. He KNOWS you. He knows about your history. He loves you. He wants you. He would want to know. So...put the shoe on the other food. Would you want Musicman to talk to you if he was upset about something? I'm sure he'd want to know. He'd want to help, even if it's just holding you while you cry. He won't run. He won't love you any less. Just like you wouldn't if the shoe was on the other foot. Talk to him. You can hide your tears from everyone else, pretend that everything's fine with everyone else...but not with him. <br /><br />That reoccurring pain and processing is so infuriating. It gives such a sense of weakness and brokenness. Sofia said that healing happens in a spiral. I think she was wise. Each time you process and heal in a more meaningful, deeper way. But it's still a bit circular and you come back to similar places.<br /><br />I wish you luck my friend. From one survivor to another, My shoulder's always here if you need it!<br /><br />hugs,<br />fionaSirQsmlbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17862547894051224264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3260314684463137349.post-56132007213582914292013-04-26T21:37:39.497-04:002013-04-26T21:37:39.497-04:00Not too long ago, I was feeling something was defi...Not too long ago, I was feeling something was definitely off in me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My friend happened to catch me on a day when I was a bit chatty. We started working backwards until we found the trigger of what was happening with me. Not sure if this will help. I'm not even sure if I make sense, lol.<br />Asking for help is difficult but usually worth it in the long run. Hugs...Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04798113123590131798noreply@blogger.com